First year without a Christmas present

[Esgusudoowchvi]

I've just realised that this will be the first year that I won't receive a Christmas present.

My two children are grown up and both have tiny babies. They've decided that presents should be children only. I'm glad that they can spend on the babies and not worry about anyone else.

Sister suggested children only.

My parents have sadly both died.

I'm meeting friends for Christmas drinks, but we won't be doing gifts.

We haven't arranged secret Santa at work this year.

None of these is a problem. I love buying presents and have enjoyed finding things for my children, grandchildren, niece and nephew. Just unusual to not open a suprise on the day. No big deal though

Okay, now I'm malicious. Thanks for your comment.

I would buy for me from me, personally - something that you wouldn’t normally treat yourself to.

That's miserable OP.

Surely your GC will be encouraged to give you a gift- even if it's a homemade gift like cookies, fudge or a decoration? My DD always made something for her grandparents x

Personally, I can't imagine not giving my mum a gift for Christmas. It's not just about children, it's about appreciating loved ones and making them feel special.

Sorry but I think this is disgusting. Christmas is not all about presents, but 'just for the children' - no thanks. Tiny babies don't needs lots of presents. They can get their mother a present. I would never leave my mum out like this.

Buy yourself something nice. How old are you that you need somebody to buy you something for validation? buy presents for people because you want to not because you expect something back in return.

My parents stopped with the Xmas present when I left for uni, and I’ve be we given them a present for Xmas, and we are very united. We show we care through other gestures.

I’m a single mom with young twins. I have nobody to buy for me either, as my DC are still in 1st school. I just treat myself instead, 1 thing that I really really want and have done for a long time but could never ‘justify’ buying myself any other time of the year (I also buy a very small token gift for myself to leave under the tree from Santa which my children are always excited to see for me)

Get yourself something fancy OP, from you to you. If you can’t spoil yourself a little for Xmas, when can you.

The irony is that tiny babies won’t really appreciate their presents will they but if they bought their Mum a present it would very much be. I am sorry OP . Buy yourself something really lovely . If there are any beauty advent calendars left treat yourself to one and open it on the 25 th. It’s great fun!

I also buy myself nice presents and things I like/want. I will get presents from my DH and they will be nice things though they might not be the exact things I had my eye on. So to avoid disappointment I always buy myself the things I really want when it goes on sale, and then anything anyone else gets me will be extra. My kids buy something at the school christmas shop which the PTA organises so I will get a present from them too. My parents are abroad so we will exchange presents when we see them in march. I think OP feels sad at not having someone think of her and buy something special. It is the lack of thought and love more than the present itself.

I was in a similar position. I was single and childless and my sister rang on behalf of the others (who all had spouses and children) and said "we're only buying for the children now". I told her to F.R.O.

Sorry OP, but your children are thoughtless.

As PP have suggested, treat yourself and open the parcels on Christmas day.

Ah I do understand. I'm alone and whilst I receive some presents from wider family, they are nothing special as I'm not important enough to anyone! Buy yourself something nice, that's what I do.

I think it is most peculiar - and rather mean. I enjoyed buying gifts for my mother and my in-laws, loved it, and of course they received more at our house when they were grandparents.

I know it is an expensive time but if you start buying things early and look for bargains, it's manageable for most people.

We just 'buy for kids' in both mine and dh's families but our parents/grandparents don't count, we just cut out having to buy for our siblings and their partners basically. But everyone still gets presents from someone.
Maybe it hasn't occurred to your family that you won't be getting a present at all.

Yes, you were being malicious. The OP posted for some sympathy and support, not to be made to feel even worse.

I can’t believe your children stents buying your anything, OP. I’m sorry to read that.

Where can you buy the Chanel nail polish and charm and samples please?

This is all so weird! We give presents to all family members. That means that the childless uncle give to nieces/nephews and they give in return. And parents give to adult children and vice versa. I cannot understand why you would be giving to someone who wasn’t reciprocating, however ‘token’ it might be.
As a child, I saved my pocket money as well as making homemade gifts, and had a list of 14 people I had to give to each year. I had so much pleasure working out what I would buy/make for each person.
i also did hand written thank you notes to everyone, unless i had seen them on Christmas Day.
my children do the same, and they love getting ‘thank yous’ as well.

My parents are both dead as are my in-laws. I do still get a couple of gifts but was surprised at how much I missed that feeling of someone thinking about what I would like. My mum was difficult in many ways but it was always nice to open what she'd got me and to think about what to get her. I think your kids cannot have thought this through. If you were my mum I would really feel very bad if I found out that you weren't going to get anything at all and I would really want you to tell me.

I agree with PPs, we mostly just do children in my family & I always still get my mum as otherwise she might not have anything to open….

Are you in the same position as OP, then? No prospect of a gift this Christmas? I think you're both entitled to feel a bit sad about that. It's not that odd to seek a bit of solidarity when you feel down.

I personally spend more on my parents than my toddler - my parents really help out a lot and I like to show my appreciation with nice things they wouldn't buy themselves. My brother has also suggested only buying for the kids and I actually vetoed it because we only have a small family and me and my sister are single and would have no one to buy for but the kids. I really enjoy getting nice things for people and think actually it's more appreciated by the adults as the children receive a lot of things already. I told them they didn't have to get anything for me though and I meant it.

Life is not a race to the bottom.

My mam died but I don't tell people who have a living but selfish mother to just be 'more grateful' because I don't have one... the two things are completely unrelated.

People can have a family and their family can be rude, shit and take them for granted... they don't need to be 'thankful' for that.

Cut back on your spending on the grandchildren, tell their parents you are conscious of the conspicuous waste at Christmas, then go any buy yourself something lovely.

How did she respond to that? And how was the situation resolved if you don’t mind me asking.