First year without a Christmas present

[Esgusudoowchvi]

I've just realised that this will be the first year that I won't receive a Christmas present.

My two children are grown up and both have tiny babies. They've decided that presents should be children only. I'm glad that they can spend on the babies and not worry about anyone else.

Sister suggested children only.

My parents have sadly both died.

I'm meeting friends for Christmas drinks, but we won't be doing gifts.

We haven't arranged secret Santa at work this year.

None of these is a problem. I love buying presents and have enjoyed finding things for my children, grandchildren, niece and nephew. Just unusual to not open a suprise on the day. No big deal though

My Mum and Dad buy just for the kids but I still get them a gift! Otherwise they spend all the time and money for my family and I do nothing for them!

Whole heartedly agree. Treat yourself to something special , wrap it beautifully and enjoy it.

I hope one of them asks you what did you get, when you’re all together, then please don’t hide it, just say ‘oh NOTHING’!! It may shock them into giving you something next year.

I’ve had several years when I didn’t receive anything. Family and friends often said “kids only” but I didn’t have kids.
Tbh I knocked most of these on the head when I didn’t receive even a recognition of the gifts/money, let alone a thank you.
Until this thread it didn’t actually occur to me but maybe I have been conned here!!! Thirty plus years of buying nieces, cousins, friends gifts and nothing ever back as it’s just for kids 😆
Op I do feel for you, I hope your kids surprise you x

For years I didn’t get one. My DH passed when my kids were 4 and 6, my father had passed the year before and my mother moved countries not long after to where my sisters live. So really who’s going to buy me anything? So I bought myself something, though not necessarily for under the tree. One year it was a flower subscription, another year I had a bespoke bedroom rug made. But several years I didn’t do anything and just enjoyed buying for the kids.
Now at 20 and 22 they do buy me a present though as one is at uni and the other a minimum wage job (and he lives away). Neither have much spare cash!
I more resent my stepsons actually. I’ve just wrapped up the presents for their four children, which I do on behalf of their late father. These men are in their 30s and have never bought anything for their half siblings (they lived with us during their teens full time).

I buy my own. The only surprise gift I get is a secret Santa but I’m not going to be a martyr at Christmas. I wrap them and everything. Sometimes I label them from the cat 🤣

I've been on my own a while and I buy things for myself. It's quite hard to do, but just little things like this year I got a really nice reed diffuser.

The options are endless.

Just stop doing it for the step children's family. They don't care and aren't grateful. Their father died and whilst that's sad it's not your fault, you don't have to feel obligated to send gifts on his behalf, that's madness. Do you even have any relationship with them/their DC now? If you do and you want to buy for them that's different, but it doesn't sound that way.

I bought the blockbuster set. This one - m.esteelauder.co.uk/product/707/142165/product-catalog/gifts/skincare-sets-gifts/11-beauty-favorites/including-5-full-sizes-more?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=18709956427&gbraid=0AAAAAD_ALTmtWg7UUzN6yz5LeAtMpV5nG&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxonKBhC1ARIsAIHq_lvdeIyIK2K5Xf7hoQlaOd2P2FiDjEINvU1oEUDb5PtWgij570ACgEYaAk3YEALw_wcB
my mum has just turned 68 and loves Estee lauder so hoping she will like it!

I think it’s a bit crap that your adult dc don’t buy for you. They could join up and get something, it doesn’t have to cost tons. I always get my mum something, she always gives me a token amount of money.

I would give your children £30 each, tell them no-one is buying you anything this year so the money is for them to buy you something nice and wrap it up for you to open. This should shame them into realising how mean spirited they are and you will get two surprises at least even if they are unshameable

@Esgusudoowchvi "None of these is a problem. I love buying presents and have enjoyed finding things for my children, grandchildren, niece and nephew. Just unusual to not open a suprise on the day. No big deal though"

I agree, no big deal, and I don't see why you're posting, except to get pity?

You're lucky to have family. Many people have nobody.

Oh, I would love it so much, no presents at all.

I do think its mean of your children though.

I’ll buy you a present OP? Happily. If you can work out a way for us to be in contact.

Agreed.

I've been widowed 5 yrs. This year, I've bought myself some bits and pieces as well as a couple of bigger items - I saw some Sweaty Betty leggings that I liked selling for half price in their sale, so I've bought them and put them aside.

Also got myself the sweets my parents used to buy me - Chocolate Orange and After Eights, plus the Bailey's that they or DH would have bought. Got myself a cheap nail polish and some other things as treats.

You're being a bit mean spirited @RogueFemale - there's really no need for it.

In our family, if an adult has a child we buy the child. But if an adult doesnt have kids they get the gift. No one buys and gets nothing in return!

I'm just being honest. Honesty is good.

Send me your address, I will send you a surprise present. If you can provide an age range so I get something suitable. 😁 Secret Santa!

I’m sorry but your kids are shit there is no way I would let anyone in my life wake up on Christmas morning to know pressie. It’s just mean.

I'm being equally honest.

I hope your kids surprise you with a gift. It's not fair to say "children only" when you have no one else to buy you a gift.

Just in case they don't, I would be buying myself something really nice and not feel any guilt at all. A gift from you to you because you deserve it.

I had a Xmas were I wouldn’t get anything. So I bought myself four things and wrapped them. Something I wanted, something I needed, something to wear and something to read.

I see the rationale behind only buying for the kids in that it saves money, but I don’t agree with it at all! When they’re tiny babies it doesn’t really matter as they don’t understand, but as they grow up I’d want to teach them that Christmas isn’t only about them and I’d want them to see the adults exchange presents too. There is far too much of a child centric focus these days!