First year without a Christmas present

[Esgusudoowchvi]

I've just realised that this will be the first year that I won't receive a Christmas present.

My two children are grown up and both have tiny babies. They've decided that presents should be children only. I'm glad that they can spend on the babies and not worry about anyone else.

Sister suggested children only.

My parents have sadly both died.

I'm meeting friends for Christmas drinks, but we won't be doing gifts.

We haven't arranged secret Santa at work this year.

None of these is a problem. I love buying presents and have enjoyed finding things for my children, grandchildren, niece and nephew. Just unusual to not open a suprise on the day. No big deal though

@Esgusudoowchvi

It’s good not to be too hung up on the presents side of things, however, there needs to be a balance.

Sounds like this year is a buy yourself something nice year, however, perhaps your family may be open to a slightly different arrangement for next year?

My family do a Draw Names Secret Santa thing for the adults. Still buy/give as normal for the children. We have a budget of £50 which is enough generally for a decent present or a few small ones. Less people to think about, cost effective, but we still all get to open something. It’s a great compromise we find! Takes a lot of the stress, waste, away!

Would your family be up for something like this maybe? I can understand the new families may just not have the headspace for the Xmas shopping, but that’s a bit sad for you.

Oops. I’m one of those people who won’t be buying Christmas gifts for my parents. The comments are kind of eye opening. Maybe I need to give it another thought.

I barely have the money to gift my kids anything and I didn’t want my parents to feel obligated to buy me something too. I won’t be buying my husband anything either. Maybe next year will be different.

give them the list of things you want for christmas

I sort of agree with this. Speaking plainly but not with hostility.

I can't imagine not getting my parents anything. Your children should at least be gifting something from your grandchildren, and it absolutely doesn't need to be anything extravagant, but I think it's quite cheeky to expect you to buy for their kids and expect to give nothing in return. As another poster said it's not about the gift it's about the fact that someone is thinking of you.

Even if we had agreed presents only for children, I cannot imagine not arranging something from my children to Grandma, even if I took them to a pound shop and asked them to choose. Grandma is different. Chocolates, a bouquet, some bath bubbles, even a home-drawn picture.

My late husband had dementia for several years, so I started to buy myself a couple of nice presents from him. Even though he isn't here any more I keep this up as I don't get many other presents. I love buying things for other people and this year may well be different as I am travelling to stay with my cousin and will celebrate with her extended family. I have bought presents for all of them and I am really looking forward to celebrating Christmas this year, in a family setting.

Have a wonderful Christmas. It's good you have family to visit.

I saw a reel of a family who did secret santa with a £5 limit from a charity shop. Looked such fun.

Edited as auto had put santander 🤣

We decided the same but I still buy for my parents

It would be nice if they gave you a small gift for you from the grandchildren - made or chosen by the children. It wouldn't bother me, though. Christmas is just a spendfest.

Are you sure they won’t surprise you with a gift? My sister and I always say “no presents” but we always buy each other something small. It wouldn’t really bother me not receiving presents tbh. It happened to me a couple of years when everyone in my family had too much going on (sister was a newly single mother who didn’t have much money, mum was caring for my dad who had dementia). Christmas was still lovely.