First year without a Christmas present

[Esgusudoowchvi]

I've just realised that this will be the first year that I won't receive a Christmas present.

My two children are grown up and both have tiny babies. They've decided that presents should be children only. I'm glad that they can spend on the babies and not worry about anyone else.

Sister suggested children only.

My parents have sadly both died.

I'm meeting friends for Christmas drinks, but we won't be doing gifts.

We haven't arranged secret Santa at work this year.

None of these is a problem. I love buying presents and have enjoyed finding things for my children, grandchildren, niece and nephew. Just unusual to not open a suprise on the day. No big deal though

I would treat yourself to something you really want or want to do .
See it that way and don't feel guilty for indulging in yourself .
Could be a holiday .. a short break .. a spa weekend.
Beauty treatments hair or clothes.
Spend some money on you self care xx

Ooh definitely get yourself a treat!

This has been me for the last few years …divorce and death of both parents within a few years.

I unashamedly buy myself something lovely and decadent that I wouldn’t normally allow myself…expensive perfume , beautiful handbag etc
take it as a chance to know the gift will be exactly what you want !

It's a pity that your adult kids can't give you something, just so you have something to unwrap. You can get really pretty silver necklaces or earrings for 30 pounds. Or maybe they could just get you some chocs and some Marks collection bath stuff. (I love their stuff, especially the Magnolia line, and it's really inexpensive.) But perhaps money is tight. Sorry, OP. 💐

Why aren't you getting a present from the grandkids??

Treat yourself

candle. Smellies. Chocs. Gin. Book. Slippers.

I can't believe your parents didn't get you anything when you were the one who was single no kids in that scenario!

My family of origin often demonstrated disrespect for me. Not unusual in some families, sadly.

Hello, you replied to me but addressed OP! Not sure who you meant, but I'll take your warm wishes anyway! Thank you xxx

Your children should be buying you a gift. They are being very thoughtless.

Treat yourself to something lovely or you could buy a nice advent calendar without looking at the contents in detail and open all the drawers on Christmas morning

(My present to myself is already wrapped and under the tree ).

Buy yourself something you'll really enjoy and want. Wrap it and put it under your tree. Open it and enjoy it to your heart's content on Christmas Day x. It's okay to treat yourself the way you should be treated.

I couldn't agree more. When my siblings and I went for children only, the idea of leaving out our mother never crossed our minds.

As others have said @Esgusudoowchvi, buy something special for you.

I would make yourself up a little hamper of little luxury items for yourself, chocolate, wine , a book , cosy socks etc to enjoy on Christmas day.

Agree. I buy my mum more now Dad has passed away. I feel like I need to make a fuss of her while I still have her, and she has always been v kind with presents for us. I am a single mum and it wouldn't cross my mind not to buy for my parents. I miss buying my Dad something.

I don't get much. Mum finds shopping hard now so she sends me money and I get myself something nice. I get a couple of little things from friends too. But I do find getting myself some things is nice. I save them for Xmas and enjoy having something new, same as everyone else. It's good for self esteem.

I think your children are being self centered. I would be straight with them and say it's not v nice.

You need to buy yourself something OP! Not the same, but show yourself some love

I've kind of been in this situation off and on for a long time - when dd was young as a single mum and family don't do presents for adults.
it can feel a bit weird when everyone is opening them a round you! So I have bought myself gifts and think it's actually much better!! X

Awe. That’s not good. Make sure you say you have nothing to open. Ridiculous adult kids can’t even get you or make you a wee something.

I totally understand the only buying for.kids and not aunts and uncles etc and ds and bills and so on

But id be absolutely dammed if I included my DM in that collection
I think that's terrible and op I'm sure they will get you something

WHOAH, hang on a minute - you're a MAM, to 2x GROWN ASS ADULTS!!! Of course they should be bloody buying you a prezzie!!! You carried them, you gave birth to them, you nurtured them, and loved them to pieces - what kind of selfish b***s have you got there???? I'm (almost) speechless!

I agree with some of these comments in that I couldn't enjoy Christmas and accepting presents from my parents and family without enjoying giving them a gift too. I hope you will be pleasantly surprised with something on the day and again if not then absolutely treat yourself x

They might not be able to afford to.

Then they shouldn't be expecting Op to buy stuff from their kids either.
It doesn't need to be a £££ gift, but they should be getting Op something.

I totally get it. You grow up with parents and usually a handful of friends who all swap presents and suddenly they’re all gone and you get nothing. I feel the same. I miss my mum and dad especially SO much and my mum in particular loved Christmas and bought a lot, my dad was bar humbug but still joined in and bought lots of presents. It’s a shock to realise everything has changed and people have gone. 😢x

That’s sad and yes, buy yourself a treat. Maybe your children are overwhelmed if they have newborns. But it’s important that their children learn to give gifts when they are old enough, as well as receive them, but I don’t know how you raise that with them. Maybe your children will be embarrassed when they realise the cumulative effect of all the decisions is that you are left giftless.