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Original poster

Donation for friends Christmas dinner…

236 replies

CyanSnake · 06/12/2024 07:38

Received an invitation last night.

Theres a group of us 8 friends, plus partners, who meet up for Christmas dinner and drinks every year just before the big day.

Every year it is always the same friend who hosts, provides the food and cooks. We’re never asked to bring anything, although I usually take a few bottles of wine.

This year, the invite (which was sent digitally) had a note at the bottom saying they hate to ask but food and drink gets more expensive every year, so if we could donate anything toward the cost they’d be very grateful, but we’re of course welcome either way

I thought fair enough, everything is expensive now so Ive sent them through £40 with my rspv.

But I’ve been I’ve received a text this morning where another one of the group has posted saying it’s outrageous to even ask…

So what do we think?

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 09/12/2024 00:34

Coco2024 · 08/12/2024 21:04

Why did everyone think it was fine for one family to host year in year out and no one offer to contribute or take a dish etc????? Or offer to take turns to host to make it fair

If people issue an invitation, I assume it's within their means and is something they enjoy doing.

There's nothing wrong with accepting invitations.

If they want to switch to a communally furnished potluck, that is fine too, but they are no longer hosts. They are organizers, and all of the other contributors deserve a say in the arrangements.

Ukrainebaby23 · 09/12/2024 07:30

HRFT but I'd post, it seems reasonable to ask but not demand a contrbution, I've already sent mine.
Standby your actions

Goodtogossip · 09/12/2024 11:53

I think it's very reasonable to ask for a contribution. It's already an expensive time of the year for everyone, without the added cost of hosting 16 people for a meal & drinks. I'd be happy to pay towards it & probably would have offered something every other year to be honest.

CyanMaker · 09/12/2024 14:14

At the very least, everyone could bring a contribution(food or drink). It's very generous for this person to host and cook each year. Anyone who complains seems very entitled to me.

Owl55 · 11/12/2024 10:35

This post made me think! Our friend does a similar evening every Xmas , we take a bottle of wine or flowers but thinking about it she pays for food , drinks , cheeses and snacks plus the effort of making it special every year. This year I’m going to buy something extra for her to enjoy over Xmas , I know she wouldn’t accept money but I would be happy to contribute if asked . Tell your other friends to pay up !

Winter2020 · 11/12/2024 10:58

Owl55 · 11/12/2024 10:35

This post made me think! Our friend does a similar evening every Xmas , we take a bottle of wine or flowers but thinking about it she pays for food , drinks , cheeses and snacks plus the effort of making it special every year. This year I’m going to buy something extra for her to enjoy over Xmas , I know she wouldn’t accept money but I would be happy to contribute if asked . Tell your other friends to pay up !

Me too, The same members of our family do a Boxing Day buffet and we’re going to ask if they want to give us a shopping list or would prefer money towards it.

Swimmingteacher21 · 12/12/2024 17:03

CyanSnake · 06/12/2024 07:38

Received an invitation last night.

Theres a group of us 8 friends, plus partners, who meet up for Christmas dinner and drinks every year just before the big day.

Every year it is always the same friend who hosts, provides the food and cooks. We’re never asked to bring anything, although I usually take a few bottles of wine.

This year, the invite (which was sent digitally) had a note at the bottom saying they hate to ask but food and drink gets more expensive every year, so if we could donate anything toward the cost they’d be very grateful, but we’re of course welcome either way

I thought fair enough, everything is expensive now so Ive sent them through £40 with my rspv.

But I’ve been I’ve received a text this morning where another one of the group has posted saying it’s outrageous to even ask…

So what do we think?

They must have felt so awkward asking, and I’m sure they wouldn’t have if they weren’t concerned about the expense. Be a kind friend and support them in order to make sure you can continue this tradition.

Luckylu123 · 13/12/2024 06:30

Notmydaughteryoubitch · 06/12/2024 07:43

I can't believe none of you have thought to financially contribute before, it's unclear why you all thought the cost of hosting your group Christmas get together should be the responsibility of one friend each year. I would be super apologetic that they even had to ask and tell your other 'friend' to wind their neck in and contribute.

100%

SammyScrounge · 07/06/2025 00:49

My family does this.and think nothing of it..There are 15 of us round the table so a slap-up Christmas dinner costs a lot.The sensible thing to do is split the cost. The only one not to make a monetary contribution is the cook because they have put the work in.

TunipTheVegimal24 · 07/06/2025 21:55

SammyScrounge · 07/06/2025 00:49

My family does this.and think nothing of it..There are 15 of us round the table so a slap-up Christmas dinner costs a lot.The sensible thing to do is split the cost. The only one not to make a monetary contribution is the cook because they have put the work in.

🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️

BellissimoGecko · 08/06/2025 08:52

So the same friend has hosted and cooked every day for years and your other friend thinks she’s being greedy?? Bloody bonkers.

You should all have been contributing and sharing the cost long before now, eg everyone bringing starter/pudding/cheeses, unless you know your friend is v rich. Which she clearly isn’t.

Hosting friend must have spent hundreds of pounds over the years hosting you all, plus all the emotional labour of cleaning, tidying, cooking.

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