Poncetastic Christmas 2024

[StiffyByngsDogBartholomew]

@vivajen hasn't posted on MN for a year so I've taken the bull by the horns. I can't wait any longer !
Wherever you are, Fellatio, here's to you. I hope you're brining a turkey and had crafting authentic organic woven tinsel somewhere.
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.
So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.
Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.
Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

🎄🎄🎄🎄

Stir up Sunday is for puddings.

(However some people do make their cakes a bit later than this. I think they're generally nicer the longer they have to mature)

Is it?! I'm sure previous Mumsnet threads in years gone by had a collective stir up Sunday to bake the cake!

Traditionally, yes. But it really doesn't matter! I think a lot of people probably do tend to make the cake on that day as well just to tie in with the tradition.

We might make a small Creole cake this year and if we do, we'll do it about a week before Christmas.

I always thought that the October half-term was timed to let teachers make their Christmas cakes...

(Not do what they mostly do, which is lesson plan and catch up.)

Yep stir up Sunday is for puddings. We don't feed the kids cake so often do that on stir up Sunday but ours is always done by October

Mary Berry said once to make it 12 weeks before so I went with that!

I caused a bit of a stir in Morrisons last week when I picked up a kilo of sultanas and squawked at no small volume “ HOW FUCKING MUCH ! “

£4 ! for a single kilo ! Bloody hell .

Dried fruit has definitely gone up in price, along with everything else. We always used to make our fruit cake in half term when I was a kid as my mum worked term time and it was a chance for us all to have a stir.

I've mostly kept up with that but DD isn't in school at the moment, so thought we'd do it early as a nice activity to cheer us up.

I'm also liking the idea of a knitted Santa washing line, must go to my local wool shop...

I'm making surprise stationery advent calendars for a few family members, who all share my hobby of paper crafts! I'm trying to decorate each day's envelope with fancy styles while not spending even more money if possible (already quite expensive to do for five people!). Any suggestions welcome! They are brown envelopes (C5 size I think).

Does anyone have a good child friendly Christmas cake recipe? I know I could just leave the booze out but I'm thinking of making two - one for kids one for adults. Nigel slaters recipe will be too crunchy for the kids I think

I never bothered.
I worked on the principle that a lot of the booze would have evaporated off anyway, and that 6-8 tablespoons of brandy in a huge cake wouldn't amount to much per one kid-sized portion.

Mind you, I was raised by parents who allowed me half a glass of watered wine at Sunday lunch from the age of 8 or 9. Watered wine is disgusting and put me off alcohol until I was about 16.

That's true it would burn off. l although I like to feed my cakes a fair amount 😂
Might just split the batter in two

Can anyone recommend a lovely smelling but affordable festive candle? I would love something from Diptyche but can't justify the cost! I smelt a few in Next today and they were horribly sickly.

When I’m not feeling Diptyque-rich I get mine from either Zara home or TK Maxx (go prepared to sniff everything as at least 75% are horrid and sickly).

I really love Neom's 'Christmas Wish'. Not as spenny as Dipytique but still lovely.

@Birdahoy When I’m not feeling Diptyque-rich I get mine from either Zara home or TK Maxx (go prepared to sniff everything as at least 75% are horrid and sickly).

Thank you! Don't live near either of those sadly so would need to get online or try somewhere else. I have M&S, John Lewis and White Company so might try one of those 😊

I’ve made our cakes without booze in the past and you can replace the alcohol with orange juice or tea (earl grey is nice). To make the cake early but without the booze and feeding to preserve it, I froze it instead (wrap in baking paper, then foil, then clingfilm) then defrosted to marzipan / ice it nearer to Christmas.

Just realised answering this has brought me out of lurking, I love this thread, hello everyone please can I join you? 🎄🌟🥰

Can I join? I’m buying two new cookbooks this year that promise to help me get ahead.
Need to buy new Paper whites. I was so careful last year, dried them and placed in paper bag. But I put in shed with other bulbs, now have no idea what I have!

My Paperwhite bulbs from Sarah Raven arrived today. They look lovely quality (again) I have popped them away in their packaging until 12th November. When I will start them on washed pebbles in tall glass vases or hurricane lamps.

The link for Cornell University’s paper on alcohol stunting growth is [[http://www.hort.cornell.edu/miller/bulb/Pickling_your_Paperwhites.pdf www.hort.cornell.edu/miller/bulb/Pickling_your_Paperwhites.pdf

If only alcohol stunted girth growth in post menopausal women!

Link fail

http://www.hort.cornell.edu/miller/bulb/Pickling_your_Paperwhites.pdf

Now it's finally properly poncey around here! 🎄🎄🎄🙂🙂🙂

Thanks for this @Trumpton , really useful. I started too early but luckily due to my menopausal brain I forgot I had them and ordered another bag so I can do second set mid Nov.

Does anyone know if amaryllis follow same timeline?

My fruit (1 kg) has already been soaking for 5 days.
The recipe called for 150ml of brandy, however so far I have been adding brandy and cointreau daily as it keeps absorbing liquid.
I have weight the fruit and is 1.55 kg today.
Is there any issue as to have very hydrated fruit?
I guess the cake will not need to be fed so much.
But will the fruit sink?

I make a light fruit cake. No booze, just because we all prefer it and you can eat a nice wedge with a drink. Its basically simnel cake with fancy extra fruit (I get crystallised pineapple and candied papaya etc) with a thick layer of marzipan in the middle and a layer of gratinated marzipan on top, which I then stick marzipan holly, Christmas roses etc, pine comes on top of. It's the best thing ever and all gone by the 27th.