Poncetastic Christmas 2024

[StiffyByngsDogBartholomew]

@vivajen hasn't posted on MN for a year so I've taken the bull by the horns. I can't wait any longer !
Wherever you are, Fellatio, here's to you. I hope you're brining a turkey and had crafting authentic organic woven tinsel somewhere.
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.
So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.
Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.
Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

🎄🎄🎄🎄

Here is a previous model

That does sound lovely - I quite often make a simnel cake at Easter and maybe I should jazz it up!

Yours looks amazing too - do you make your own decoration?

Yes. I did used to be a pastry chef and did cake decorating at college so it's not that impressive 😂

Its VERY impressive

@StiffyByngsDogBartholomew that looks fabulous. Not surprised it's all gone by the 27th. What is gratinated marzipan please?

Wow @StiffyByngsDogBartholomew - that cake looks amazing.

I never seem to find scented candles that I actually like, but I do like to use my essential oil diffuser with something seasonal like cinnamon and orange oil. It's one of those ones that you fill with water and few drops of oil and it puffs out steam).

Might do myself a paperwhite order...

Thank you again for the wisteria tip, I just gave The Creature a trim and made a wreath base that is indoors drying.

I am in awe of @StiffyByngsDogBartholomew ‘s cake. All of my cakes look like they were decorated by a Small Child. At least nowadays I have one to pin the blame on

Catching up on all the lovely poncing - I can nearly smell those cakes!

Before my granny died my aunt tried to prise her Christmas cake recipe out of her, but my aunt got so muddled by her extensive advice on substitutions that she couldn’t make head or tail of it.

In Granny’s day there was no guarantee what ingredients would be available, so you had to make do with what you got hold of. Currants and raisins were sort of interchangeable but sultanas being bigger and juicier weren’t. Some things you substituted by volume and others by weight. And one ingredient might throw off the sweetness, or add a note to the taste that needed counterbalancing. She even took into account the quality of the flour. Her cake was legendary but sadly lost to posterity.

Back in the naughties, when my aunt was trying to make sense of all this, her skills seemed well and truly obsolete.

Roll out the marzipan, put in top and brown with a blowtorch like creme brûlée

Would anyone have a tried and tested recipe for a gingerbread style salt dough?
I want to have a go at making something like these Gisela Graham ornaments. I’ve tried in previous years but never been really happy with the results.

Bonus points for suggestions on how to create the “icing”. I used puffy paint last year but it wasn’t quite the right texture and also a bit too shimmery.

Help me Poncers!

@StiffyByngsDogBartholomew thanks for that. I shall look it up. I did see in your photo that the top was slight browned. I'm guessing now that's from the browning via blowtorch.

@MrsForgetalot Well royal icing will last literally years so as long as the dough has a good glaze on it to stop the icing discolouring you could use run out royal icing. I've got a couple of massive college recipe bibles and one has a chapter on salt doughs so I'll have a look tomorrow. Plus I've got a lovely book called Colette 's Christmas which has lots of gingerbread stuff in including tree decorations.

@Isthiscorrect it gives a very delicious taste to the marzipan. We used to make a pear belle helene which for some reason we served in a marzipan tartlet which was marzipan rolled out and pressed into a tartlet case then gratinated all the way round. It was one of my favourite ever puddings from numerous a la carte menus over the years, I'm a sucker for grilled marzipan.

Maybe I could do a Mumsnet poncealong Christmas cake decorating vid 😂

honestly all you need to make my cake decoration is a holly shaped cookie cutter and an ivy leaf cutter if you can manage it, the Christmas rose petals are done with a piping tube end and the other bits are just free modelling of the most basic variety

These are a couple of my " real" cakes, sorry couldn't resist the temptation. The flowers and models are all sugar

Loving all this! I bought my fruit for my cake today. Going to do Nigella’s. It’s got less currents and more sultanas than Delia’s- not sure if the significance! And mixed peel instead of as many glacé cherries. Also orange zest.

I also want to do the stained glass tree biscuits from Feast. I forgot what a great book that is.

Amazing @StiffyByngsDogBartholomew 🤩

This is my new embroidery project, I'm making them to hang in the kitchen but I'm finding my plan of sewing over the paper isn't working very well as it doesn't want to come out so I think I will have to go back to the drawing board. I'm not confident enough to embroider by eye. The instructions said to use something called waxed freezer paper but how on earth do you use that ?
Just got to finish off the last few leaves on my autumn garland which I decided to sew some beads on having bought a mixed box for the "gingerbread cookie" decorations. Enjoying my lunchbreak listening to Mapp and Lucia and sewing :)

Your cakes are amazing @StiffyByngsDogBartholomew. And I love your embroidery project. They are lovely.

@MrsForgetalot - my mum’s ‘recipe’ for those decorations would be to just buy them! I tend to follow her recipes a lot!

@StiffyByngsDogBartholomew I love the embroidery. I would use a frixion pen to trace the pattern onto your fabric, you can use a light box or tape it up to a window to help you see the pattern. The frixion pen then washes out.

I am going to make my cake this weekend too

Those look lovely @StiffyByngsDogBartholomew

Frixion pens can also be removed by gentle heat. Cover or iron on the reverse with a warm iron, the marks disappear.

@StiffyByngsDogBartholomew freezer paper is like normal paper on one side, you can draw or print on that side, and the other side is shiny. You iron the shiny side onto the fabric and it sticks well enough to sew over without needing to pin it, but peals off easily. You can get it from most crafty shops or amazon amzn.eu/d/0C3zFbE

But it wouldn't solve your problem of having to pull the paper out of your stitches. I'd try using something lighter/easier to tear like tracing paper or tissue paper. Or iron on water soluble stabiliser might work perfectly if you're happy to soak them at the end?

So my Christmas cakes are in the oven…..two instead of one because my soaked fruit became ENORMOUS! I’m worried I might have ruined them because I think the mixture curdled a little when I added the fruit back in - perhaps I didn’t strain it enough.

Anyway the strained liquid smelt divine (I used orange juice and a little mixed spice). Does anyone know - could I mix it with with the alcohol I’m going to feed the cake with? I’m thinking festive moisture, but I don’t want to create mould 🧐

I also started some festive gin today as a gift for my dad. He’ll refuse any actual gifts but a festive tipple will always be welcomed. High hopes 🎉

The problem is that they are made of cheap felt from hobbycraft and etsy. I don't know whether I could soak that in water without shrinking it or running the colours