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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

My husband got me...

210 replies

namechangedforthisone35 · 25/12/2023 07:25

A restaurant voucher. Email print out.

I feel really flat and deflated. Aibu to feel like this? Obviously said thank you but just seems like he couldn't be bothered.
Wouldn't even pay for a whole meal anyway.

OP posts:
ilovebagpuss · 26/12/2023 21:37

I feel like with these threads and the crap thoughtless gifts, you either accept it or you say at some point you were disappointed.
If you're happy in general then work something out where you don't gift each other or you send a clear list to choose from.
I feel like if your partner knows you it's not the money, just a book or music they know you like or particular chocolates.
It's just the lack of care really.

Milkmani · 26/12/2023 21:40

@namechangedforthisone35 I got nothing, he got nothing. We can’t afford it, we can’t even make ends make let alone think about a meal at a restaurant. Get some perspective on your ‘shot’ situation :)

Retired65 · 26/12/2023 22:00

My husband got me nothing. Partly my fault as he did ask me but I couldn't think of anything I wanted except for expensive things such as an i-pad, a new mobile phone. I did buy him something he wanted.

rachellovesdouglas · 26/12/2023 22:13

My husband bought me a pressure cooker one christmas. The following year he bought me a vibrator, thinking it was a back massager, that i opened in front of the children. They were horrified! Luckily he has sorted his shit out now and i get great presents.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 26/12/2023 22:37

Have you been dropping hints about eco anxiety and having too much clutter? Or that you want more date nights? If so he might have listened.

pollymere · 26/12/2023 23:09

For Christmas from DH I wanted some books and a very expensive (for us) bag. Think truffleshuffle ones. I found a bag I liked in a shop in Brighton that was half price in the sale and had an extra ten percent off. I rang DH who told me of course to buy it. The books we found together in a charity shop and Sainsbury's. So essentially he paid for gifts I found. I would never leave him to buy me a gift without a link or screenshot. Definitely wouldn't let him go freestyle. I think him buying you anything is probably to be applauded tbh 😂🤦‍♀️

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 26/12/2023 23:53

Scalottia · 26/12/2023 21:21

@teaandtoastwithmarmite yeah I did.

Reading comprehension seems difficult for a few people on this thread. Go start your own thread if you want to brag about your presents.

@Scalottia I'm not bragging. Please do one now

Fluffmum · 27/12/2023 00:16

I had nada

BarelyCoping123 · 27/12/2023 00:38

Jesus that's rubbish, sorry OP. Is he always so crappy?

Shelly696969 · 27/12/2023 01:17

My husband spent £14 on a really tacky necklace and a pair of fluffy socks.. i spent over £100

OldPerson · 27/12/2023 05:39

We all have things that either we're interested in or are important to us. If you don't know your partner that well and/or not a clue what to get them, then discuss and choose something to buy you can both do together. Every person in our household has to write a letter to Santa. Tick one. Everyone gets something they want. Every couple of years, one of us pulls it out the bag with a thoughtful gift or a plan for a fun activity or event. But if your partner is rubbish at giving gifts, give them 3 options that you want. Like specific type of earrings - make them work to find out what kind you want. A spa treatment - maybe for two? A night out at a comdey show - laugh it all off.

chubbychopsticks · 27/12/2023 05:48

exciting! Id use this gift for a fun night out with my best friends! Girls night!!! 😜

Ohthatsfabulousdarling · 27/12/2023 05:53

That's shit OP. I've had years where I've received nothing, and years where I've received absolute shit.
A few years where he's hit the nail on the head. This year, I got 2 pairs of pj's (I love my pjs) a few maternity outfits, a pair of trainers (I sort of collect them) the Christian dior sequin lipstick (that I've not been able to find anywhere since mid November) and my favourite chocolate....he did much better than I did for him, but I purchased for everyone else. He only had me to buy for.

I think I'd be telling him that you found the gift voucher quite hurtful and that you went to significant effort, whilst he clearly didn't...does he need gift inspiration next year or was that his intended outcome?

mrspk · 27/12/2023 07:19

My husband bought me a candle and diffuser from B&M and a cheap looking bobble hat. Money is not an issue for us. I'm really upset, even now 2 days later. This comes after my 50th birthday present of earrings from Argos in a total opposite style to what I would choose. It's depressing that after so many years he has no idea what I like.

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 27/12/2023 08:04

CRD67 · 26/12/2023 19:00

Next year in early December.
"As you're shit at buying presents I'll buy my own this Christmas, the budget is £200, just let me have the cash and I'll even wrap them for you".

I genuinely don’t understand this way of thinking. With the MN obsession with “family money” how does this even work? If you’re going to take £200 out of the joint account to buy yourself something why would you then pretend it was a Christmas present?

Why can’t some men just treat their partners with a bit of fucking respect and make an effort to figure out what the person they live with and supposedly love likes? Most people have a hobby or interest or something they enjoy; how the person that you are closest to can fail to notice anything about you over the course of a year is inexcusably shit.

LovedFedAndNoonesDead · 27/12/2023 08:14

AgnesX · 25/12/2023 08:36

Missing the point a bit. He should be be sharing the effort of Christmas day cooking etc anyway. A print out is lacking in effort.

I've gone back to the OP, where does it say he's cooking etc ??

Edited
Show quote history

I think the “a day when you don’t have to cook” bit refers to the day when OP will use the voucher not Christmas Day!

MammaPenny · 27/12/2023 08:17

More than mine got me 😂

ChocoChocoLatte · 27/12/2023 08:25

Monsterjam · 25/12/2023 07:33

Mine excelled himself.
a necklace , Lego, a jumper I wanted and fancy tea. He did much better than I did for him. Happy Christmas

Way to make the OP feel better?!

festivepains · 27/12/2023 08:27

This isn't a bragging thread people! Read the rooom

genesis92 · 27/12/2023 08:37

I think that's a good present. Restaurant vouchers is something my family and I often ask each other for.

Jk987 · 27/12/2023 08:38

Make sure you take a friend to the restaurant and not him!

LovedFedAndNoonesDead · 27/12/2023 09:08

namechangedforthisone35 · 25/12/2023 18:38

The kids have all had a wonderful day, all loved their presents and we've had lots of delicious food so I have a lot to be thankful for.

As for the voucher, it's for a small-ish restaurant chain and one of the restaurants has recently opened in our town.

I rarely go out, like actually ever (youngest is 22m) but I'll take a girlfriend or my mum for lunch.

Sounds like lots of you have had wonderful gifts!

It’s pretty crap when you don’t feel any (or enough) effort has been made with gifts especially if you’ve been making sure everyone gets thoughtful items, have shoulders the majority of planning, shopping and preparation for Christmas asa whole (food, tidying the house, the tree and other decorations etc) and just make sure the who holiday runs smoothly.

I got nothing for Christmas or my birthday which was last Wednesday - from him or our 4 year old twins!! He got some branded rugby shirts that he likes (one from each twin) and a stocking filled with little things like a little tool shaped like a snowflake and a few treats - mine was empty next to the 3 others. For me it’s the feeling that I’m not valued enough for him to buy even 1 thing!! He isn’t bothered by getting gifts so doesn’t see a problem with getting me nothing in return.

I’m glad you’ve decided to make the most of the voucher with a girlfriend to your mum - I hope DH will be doing childcare, school run etc that day so you really can relax and unwind.

Somethingselfdeprecating · 27/12/2023 09:12

I’m sorry it’s shit OP. Why are some men so crap and thoughtless? Why do they leave it to the last minute? Not just Christmas but birthdays & anniversaries? It’s on the same date every year, they’ve got 365 days to plan, listen, put a little money aside if necessary, make a note (most of us have a phone we can type an instant note or reminder).
OP If he has form for this I would definitely suggest talking to him. No it’s not the same as receiving a thoughtful, surprise gift but to avoid the upset and to ensure you receive something you actually like and want some men need it literally spelling out - send him links or screenshots of the things you like when you see them or think of them.
Hugs to you and anyone else here who’s feeling sad💐x

Happilyobtuse · 27/12/2023 09:25

namechangedforthisone35 · 25/12/2023 18:38

The kids have all had a wonderful day, all loved their presents and we've had lots of delicious food so I have a lot to be thankful for.

As for the voucher, it's for a small-ish restaurant chain and one of the restaurants has recently opened in our town.

I rarely go out, like actually ever (youngest is 22m) but I'll take a girlfriend or my mum for lunch.

Sounds like lots of you have had wonderful gifts!

What did you get your partner for Christmas? Always good to hear the contrast between what he received and what he gave before judging.

Floralie222 · 27/12/2023 09:30

Oh dear OP... but look on the bright side...At least you got a print out of a purchased gift. I got a reference in a card (which I saw him writing minutes before he handed it to me) that he's planning on paying for my share of something for me in the future that we were going to do together anyway. I've told him I'm not having an argument about it but this is a lazy non-gift. We'll see if anything appears over the next few days... I call them "idea" presents and am surprised because he did the same for my first birthday together and I've never let him forget it.