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Christmas

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To cry at this? Did you?

222 replies

Sandals12 · 13/12/2023 15:53

Yabu- I didnt cry

Yanbu- I did or nearly cried

Written by a relative...stick it out to the end (2 minute read). Feedback welcome

What Christmas means to me.

“Are you all set for Christmas?” we hear,
A question that always strikes fear.

No, the Elf is not on the shelf,
Nor have I ordered the turkey or beer,
The cards haven't been sent,
On presents, not a penny spent!

However, when December rolls around,
I will only be found,
Knee deep in glitter,
With tinsel up to my ears.

To me, this is what Christmas has always been.

Then carol singing and school plays,
And itchy Christmas jumper days,
Indulgent food and mulled wine,
Praying Amazon arrives on time!
Work dos with uncomfortable shoes,
Drinking plenty of ….juice.

Time with family and friends, and festive fun.
Isn't it the same for everyone?

Decoration and dessert preparation,
Advent Calendar anticipation,
The whole house now smells like a cinnamon roll…
How long is left to go?

At last, the big day arrives and Santa has been,
The living room carpet can no longer be seen,
Under plastic, cardboard, wrapping and more,
“Next year…we are NOT going overboard!”

Home Alone on the box and novelty socks,
Too many treats, turkey sleeps, The King's Speech!
Then Pringles…on repeat.
This is what Christmas means to me…

Me…me..
So blinded by the Christmas lights,
Shopping and food delights,
So wrapped up in preparing gifts,
Entertaining and Santa visits,
That I couldn't even stop and bother
To look and see,
What the season brings for others.
Me...How blind I've been.

For both far and near,
Some will not be feeling such festive cheer.

There's a world we cannot know,
Far away from ours,
Where ashes fall like snow,
And missiles obscure the stars.

These lives have become undone,
Where's the joy? Where's the fun?
Displaced from where they once called home.
“Mummy, how will Santa know where to come?”

There’s local children, who know Santa only as fable,
Told “He'll bring what he is able”,
Who will have to queue for a seat at a Christmas table.

The family on the nice side of the street,
Wanting for nothing with the world at their feet,
Who'd now trade all their Christmas wishes,
For a day with Daddy whose death was 'not suspicious'.

A neighbour over the fence,
Responds to friendly banter,
But wears sunglasses in winter,
A raised glass will mean dire consequence.

And wee Granny, who once made Christmas lunch for all,
Her family now hung on the wall,
Of whose names she can't recall.
“We'll take her out for the day”, they say.

...And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day.

OP posts:
ItsTimeToWrite · 14/12/2023 07:31

Also the replies on here have been horrible.

Sandals12 · 14/12/2023 07:38

We all liked it, from points of views of people who don't write/study or understand some poetry. Probably wrong platform as I can understand the critiques totally. I'd love to be able to write proper poetry myself. This poem was really just by someone who gave it a go for a competition, nothing more.

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 14/12/2023 10:40

I see your point op- given the context. Good on your family member for having a go- there are some good lines in there.
The message to give a thought to those less fortunate is good albeit well worn.

Starting the thread with an expectation that people will be moved to tears though? Weeping over the words?
It was never going to go well 😬

DoAWheelie · 14/12/2023 18:53

I cried with laughter if that counts...

FOTTFSOFTFOASM · 14/12/2023 19:58

I want a PMSL option.

It's shite.

Theraffarian · 14/12/2023 20:03

Makes more sense , didn’t feel like teenage poetry

SignoraItaliana · 14/12/2023 20:17

Theraffarian · 14/12/2023 20:03

Makes more sense , didn’t feel like teenage poetry

So the OP’s relative didn’t write it after all apparently. Why the pretence? Why not just say ‘I read this poem, it made me cry, what are your thoughts?’

I can’t see the point in claiming a poem written by someone else.

SmileyClare · 14/12/2023 20:36

SignoraItaliana · 14/12/2023 19:58

Did you submit the poem to the all poetry website OP? Because if it’s not you, someone has stolen your poem and is taking the credit for it.

https://allpoetry.com/poems/about/realism

Oddest thread this year! What a load of BS.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 14/12/2023 20:38

SignoraItaliana · 14/12/2023 19:58

Did you submit the poem to the all poetry website OP? Because if it’s not you, someone has stolen your poem and is taking the credit for it.

https://allpoetry.com/poems/about/realism

The mind boggles at anyone wanting to take the credit for that poem though 🤨

BashfulClam · 14/12/2023 20:59

Utter drivel, sorry!

AdobeWanKenobi · 14/12/2023 21:30

SignoraItaliana · 14/12/2023 19:58

Did you submit the poem to the all poetry website OP? Because if it’s not you, someone has stolen your poem and is taking the credit for it.

https://allpoetry.com/poems/about/realism

Uh oh. Busted 😂

Sandals12 · 14/12/2023 22:43

AdobeWanKenobi · 14/12/2023 21:30

Uh oh. Busted 😂

Not busted no, that is the poem, submitted there by me. Just to add to one of my own, submitted over 6 years ago. It's probably rubbish too.

To cry at this? Did you?
OP posts:
AdobeWanKenobi · 14/12/2023 22:48

Sandals12 · 14/12/2023 22:43

Not busted no, that is the poem, submitted there by me. Just to add to one of my own, submitted over 6 years ago. It's probably rubbish too.

Right. So you didn’t write it, a relative did but you submitted it.
Totally believable.

Sandals12 · 14/12/2023 23:08

Screenshot showing 2 poems submitted. Person asked for feedback, I submitted it yesterday. They are fully aware of where their poem is posted. The bottom one is my own from years back. So I definitely did not steal someone's poem. Wouldn't see the point in that. Just to clear all that up.

To cry at this? Did you?
OP posts:
ItsTimeToWrite · 15/12/2023 06:44

Why are you all giving the op so much stick?

ChungkingPineapple · 15/12/2023 07:32

ItsTimeToWrite · 15/12/2023 06:44

Why are you all giving the op so much stick?

Because the poem is shit and she's probably lying about who wrote it for starters.

SignoraItaliana · 15/12/2023 08:34

Is the author of the poem aware you’ve not only uploaded it to MUMSNET but also an online poetry site? I’m not sure I’d want my poetry being critiqued widely if I’d only written it for a competition.

bruffin · 15/12/2023 09:08

ItsTimeToWrite · 15/12/2023 06:44

Why are you all giving the op so much stick?

Because it's awful!
There is a creative writing board under Books if people need to impose their poetry on others

KatBurglar · 15/12/2023 09:19

ItsTimeToWrite · 15/12/2023 06:44

Why are you all giving the op so much stick?

I was pretty polite, as I was assuming it was her child and we all see our children’s abilities through rose-tinted lenses.

But given she’s posted it elsewhere and added a second poem, she seems to be doubling down on her relative’s poetic merits.

I think it’s fair game to say no, it’s awful doggerel, the rhymes are strangulated and twee and the sentiment mawkish at best.

If you want to thrust your poetry on other’s attention, there are appropriate boards for that.

MermaidEyes · 15/12/2023 09:36

To be honest OP would have done better to say I/My relative wrote this poem, it's a first attempt, what do you think? Would have got more varied responses. Instead she asked if it made anyone cry. It's really not going to make anyone cry because it's just not sad or emotional enough. Plenty of classic poetry out there that will make you feel emotions, but this isn't it.

PowerhousePatty · 15/12/2023 09:55

I find it hard to believe that any child, even an older teenager would include some of those very adult themes in a poem. Especially the bits about ‘death not suspicious’ and the sunglasses bit which frankly I still don’t fully understand.

SignoraItaliana · 15/12/2023 09:58

PowerhousePatty · 15/12/2023 09:55

I find it hard to believe that any child, even an older teenager would include some of those very adult themes in a poem. Especially the bits about ‘death not suspicious’ and the sunglasses bit which frankly I still don’t fully understand.

I took the sunglasses to mean the neighbour is hiding a black eye given to her after her husband had raised one glass too many.

Again, not a theme for a child’s poem.

Jacfrost · 15/12/2023 10:04

PowerhousePatty · 15/12/2023 09:55

I find it hard to believe that any child, even an older teenager would include some of those very adult themes in a poem. Especially the bits about ‘death not suspicious’ and the sunglasses bit which frankly I still don’t fully understand.

Nope. It wouldn't cross a young person's mind to write about ordering in food or work dos in uncomfortable shoes, because that wouldn't be their lived experience. They wouldn't refer to TV as "the box" either.

MermaidEyes · 15/12/2023 10:18

They wouldn't refer to TV as "the box" either.
That's definitely a phrase only those of us growing up in the 80s/90s or before would use!