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Christmas

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To cry at this? Did you?

222 replies

Sandals12 · 13/12/2023 15:53

Yabu- I didnt cry

Yanbu- I did or nearly cried

Written by a relative...stick it out to the end (2 minute read). Feedback welcome

What Christmas means to me.

“Are you all set for Christmas?” we hear,
A question that always strikes fear.

No, the Elf is not on the shelf,
Nor have I ordered the turkey or beer,
The cards haven't been sent,
On presents, not a penny spent!

However, when December rolls around,
I will only be found,
Knee deep in glitter,
With tinsel up to my ears.

To me, this is what Christmas has always been.

Then carol singing and school plays,
And itchy Christmas jumper days,
Indulgent food and mulled wine,
Praying Amazon arrives on time!
Work dos with uncomfortable shoes,
Drinking plenty of ….juice.

Time with family and friends, and festive fun.
Isn't it the same for everyone?

Decoration and dessert preparation,
Advent Calendar anticipation,
The whole house now smells like a cinnamon roll…
How long is left to go?

At last, the big day arrives and Santa has been,
The living room carpet can no longer be seen,
Under plastic, cardboard, wrapping and more,
“Next year…we are NOT going overboard!”

Home Alone on the box and novelty socks,
Too many treats, turkey sleeps, The King's Speech!
Then Pringles…on repeat.
This is what Christmas means to me…

Me…me..
So blinded by the Christmas lights,
Shopping and food delights,
So wrapped up in preparing gifts,
Entertaining and Santa visits,
That I couldn't even stop and bother
To look and see,
What the season brings for others.
Me...How blind I've been.

For both far and near,
Some will not be feeling such festive cheer.

There's a world we cannot know,
Far away from ours,
Where ashes fall like snow,
And missiles obscure the stars.

These lives have become undone,
Where's the joy? Where's the fun?
Displaced from where they once called home.
“Mummy, how will Santa know where to come?”

There’s local children, who know Santa only as fable,
Told “He'll bring what he is able”,
Who will have to queue for a seat at a Christmas table.

The family on the nice side of the street,
Wanting for nothing with the world at their feet,
Who'd now trade all their Christmas wishes,
For a day with Daddy whose death was 'not suspicious'.

A neighbour over the fence,
Responds to friendly banter,
But wears sunglasses in winter,
A raised glass will mean dire consequence.

And wee Granny, who once made Christmas lunch for all,
Her family now hung on the wall,
Of whose names she can't recall.
“We'll take her out for the day”, they say.

...And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day.

OP posts:
Justcallmebebes · 13/12/2023 17:17

PamelaParis · 13/12/2023 16:03

Did you cry because it's a really bad poem?

Grin
AllProperTeaIsTheft · 13/12/2023 17:17

No it certainly didn't make me cry.
If written by a 10yo it's fine. If written by an adult it's pretty cringeworthy tbh. Very forced rhymes, no scansion or rhythm to it. It fits the brief of the topic, but it's been written by someone who thinks that a poem is just a bunch of sentences which rhyme.

ChateauDuMont · 13/12/2023 17:17

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2023 16:06

And wee Granny, who once made Christmas lunch for all,
Her family now hung on the wall,
Of whose names she can't recall.

I mean, this doesn't even make sense.

Granny murdered her family by hanging them and would rather forget all about them is how it read to me.

GodDammitCecil · 13/12/2023 17:17

Oh OP - I really wish you hadn’t brought that to MN.

If it’s written by your child, then of course you’re moved by it. It won’t have the same impact on others, and bringing it to MN will
mean it’s torn apart.

It’s a nice poem for a child.

I’d ask for the thread to be taken down if I were you, and you were really moved by the poem.

Flowers
SmileyClare · 13/12/2023 17:19

Did all the teachers cry?

Bit weird that the child has written this from an adult perspective- ordering turkey and beer and drinking mulled wine 🤣

Justleaveitblankthen · 13/12/2023 17:20

Was this a school project?
It's perfectly fine if so 🤓

The neighbour in winter sunglasses obviously has an eye condition and I didn't understand the raising a glass having dire consequences? Alcoholism? Nasty drunk?
Was it supposed to be sad then? 🤔

ChateauDuMont · 13/12/2023 17:21

I much prefer this one -

It was Christmas Day in the workhouse!

The snow was falling fast.

We don't want your Christmas Pud,

So shove it up your arse ...!

Autumnleavesarefallingdownagain · 13/12/2023 17:22

Op you needed to say it was written by a child

Ontopofthesunset · 13/12/2023 17:23

I'm not sure why the author has decided to write these sentiments as a rhyming poem. A short prose piece would be clearer and probably more hard hitting emotionally.

The rhymes are forced, there's no metre and there's no shape poetically to it, which means that some of it doesn't make much sense. Is the poet ready for Christmas or not? Apparently not in the first verse, but knee deep in glitter later. But only the poet is knee deep in glitter - why? where are their friends and family? The friends and family seem to turn up later and the shoppping has been done.

Obviously if it's a young child then the attempt is praiseworthy - they are learning about expressing themselves and about poetry (though I'm not sure they should be buying beer). If it's an adult who doesn't usually write poetry, maybe they would benefit from reading some poetry before trying to write it. That would give them some more ideas of how to express themselves more naturally and fluently.

HandyLittleGadget · 13/12/2023 17:24

No, I think it's awful

SmileyClare · 13/12/2023 17:25

A child would not be worried about dessert preparation, praying Amazon delivers on time, ordering beers and forgetting to organise Elf on the Shelf , let alone drinking mulled wine.

This is an adult’s Christmas.

PersephonePomegranate23 · 13/12/2023 17:26

I'd cry at that being described as poetry. The metre is all over the place - enough to make me weep.

IncompleteSenten · 13/12/2023 17:27

If it was written by your child then it's understandable you'd feel moved by it.
I think it doesn't really matter what other people think. You like it and you're proud of her.thats all that counts.

I'm a bit worried you're going to get lots of comments about it by people who haven't read your update and think you came across it on the internet or something. I hope you aren't easily upset.

FreeRider · 13/12/2023 17:27

YABU.

It's fucking dreadful.

I threw up.

NC098765 · 13/12/2023 17:28

The state of some of these comments! Would you say these to someone's face if they'd shared their writing? Because whoever wrote this poem will probably one day Google the words and come across this post.

Equally, OP you shouldn't have posted someone else's work online to open them up to judgement, and for what reason? They've obviously put a lot of thought and heart into it. Fwiw I like it. Far better than anything I could write!

LubaLuca · 13/12/2023 17:28

If you'd have said at the start that your child had written it, you'd have got some less deprecating responses.

I'd assumed it was you or another adult that'd written it tbh. With the references to ordering turkeys and wearing uncomfortable shoes at work parties, it doesn't seem at all like Christmas through a child's eyes. Maybe that will make it stand out from the rest in the competition though.

LakeTiticaca · 13/12/2023 17:29

Too long winded for me I'm afraid. I lost the will to live around the second verse 😉

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 13/12/2023 17:29

Ah - there’s no getting away from the fact that it’s a dreadful poem. It’s not fair to say that it’s great if it’s written by a child - I’ve read a lot of secondary school pupils’ efforts at poetry and they can write some beautiful, genuinely moving things. This does not fit that description.

FreeRider · 13/12/2023 17:29

@NC098765 Yes...and have done, as someone who has attended poetry events all over the country for 25 years.

pizzaHeart · 13/12/2023 17:29

YABU

pharmachameleon · 13/12/2023 17:29

As others have said-poems that rhyme lose any sentimentality for me. Words that may have more meaning are replaced by words that rhyme instead. I definitely didn't cry. I get the intention behind the poem and that is really sad but the words made me irritated rather than sad.

Catinknickers · 13/12/2023 17:30

Awful poem, makes me cringe. Even AI can write better ones.

Sandals12 · 13/12/2023 17:30

Post one please?

OP posts:
RegimentalSturgeon · 13/12/2023 17:30

Christ, but it’s shite.

BigHairyJobby · 13/12/2023 17:30

Many an arsehole on this thread!

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