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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I’m dreading Christmas Day as my dc have barely and gifts

241 replies

Bluebellberry · 20/12/2022 16:32

Things have been finically dreadful for us.
I normally love Christmas but this year I am dreading it.
We are struggling so badly we only have a couple of very, very small low cost gifts for each child. I am so deeply ashamed.I am dreading seeing their faces on Christmas morning. They only asked for 2 small things bless them but I still feel an absolute failure.
I have absolutely nothing to give to my siblings or parents.
I have nobody to talk too irl as close friends and family don’t have money issues.
Is anyone else in this position?

OP posts:
p4p · 20/12/2022 22:22

Bluebellberry · 20/12/2022 21:52

That is so incredibly kind of you. I honestly don’t want to be a burden but I really, really appreciate your kindness and thoughtfulness. I hope you have a lovely Christmas

Show quote history

You said you didn't want anything, but now you are accepting the poster's offer? Okay then.....

Annabella91 · 20/12/2022 22:22

I agree sounds boring no tv or gifts how mean and old fashioned its mostly those with money that are the tightest its always less well of people that scrimp and scrape even it if for 2 gifts.

Annabella91 · 20/12/2022 22:24

She's accepting a gift card she wont use not a bank transfer jeez.

mynamesnotMa · 20/12/2022 22:26

I used to get one present as a child. I'm.not scarred for life. We just didbt do over the top presents.

My kids say the best tjmes they enjoy is us all laughing telling stories...so just fuck it. Its so not about the gifts.

Original poster
Bluebellberry · 20/12/2022 22:26

Im not accepting the gift card, I said thank you it’s thoughtful but I don’t want to burden anyone with anything.
The offer is very, very kind of course

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluebellberry · 20/12/2022 22:28

scoobydoo1971 · 20/12/2022 22:19

I don't think they will be thinking its rubbish when they are going to a nice all-inclusive hotel in 25C sunshine for swimming, dining out every night and exploring just after Christmas. They just don't want a pile of plastic rubbish in their house, or to have social media telling them what they 'need'. They don't feel hard done by as they have a great time on holiday.

I’m sorry but I’m confused- what holiday is this?

OP posts:
Xtraincome · 20/12/2022 22:28

-Manage present expectations now
-If you can stretch to it- let them request ANY meals they want Xmas Day no matter how random or silly.
-Look at FB pages for cheap stuff
-If you have a spare tenner for each of them, The works has a whole painting set going
-OR if you have lots of crafting stuff and DC are into it then plan a fun thing on Xmas Day where you have a crafting/art competition
-Try and steer away from the presents to other fun things for Xmas Day

I can guarantee the kids will not look back with disappointment unless you constantly feel disappointed in yourself. You've done a great job OP! This is just what Xmas looks like sometimes. Most people have been here in one way or another.

Jewel7 · 20/12/2022 22:31

I don’t know if it’s possible but the years I have struggled in the past I asked grandparents to help out. If their young they won’t mind. If you have any spare money there is always pound land or charity ships. If you reach out to local childrens centres they may be able to help.

Annabella91 · 20/12/2022 22:32

You don't need to buy a pile of crap for gifts teenager's like stuff they can use which is good enough. sounds like they only have fun when they go on holiday then spend rest of the time looking into thin air no tv no gadgets seems very old fashioned but not me kids eh
. I understand the social media ban though mine don't go on it but oldest has WhatsApp group with all her school friends so they can talk out of school hours and during the holidays.

Italiangirlinlondon · 20/12/2022 22:34

Op can none of your family help? I didn’t realise they were older children, so toys less relevant.

Does your 10 year old really still believe in Santa? Usually they find out well before this age from school

PayPennies · 20/12/2022 22:35

Annabella91 · 20/12/2022 22:01

Its genuine honesty there's 100s if retailers on there entertainer toy shop and loads of other places even argos here's a link www.klarna.com/uk/klarna-app/ admin please delete if not allowed thanks.

tempting people to get into debt - even if apparently short term debt - to get on a slippery slope - is really absolutely unethical.

PayPennies · 20/12/2022 22:37

Thatboymum · 20/12/2022 20:33

I don’t know where you are or if this is allowed on here but I have things I was hoping to give away to somebody more in need I’d be happy to post to you , Amazon kids fire tablets new unused toys games etc, posts like these make me so sad about the world we live in Id love to help if I can

People Really need to stop doing this. Irrespective of whether this particular OP. is genuine do people not see that @posts like this” are designed and can be designed specifically to make people feel sad? People offering vouchers, tablets - 🤦

Annabella91 · 20/12/2022 22:39

I was just trying to help in some way she doesn't need to spend a lot.

PayPennies · 20/12/2022 22:45

Annabella91 · 20/12/2022 22:39

I was just trying to help in some way she doesn't need to spend a lot.

Nope. You were encouraging someone with no money apparently to take on debt, for purposes such as buying presents. Debt is a slippery slope. It feeds on desperation. It starts with “just a little” thing and promises to oneself of paying it back. You do not - ever - encourage a person with apparently no money - to get into debt.

scoobydoo1971 · 20/12/2022 22:46

Sorry Bluebelberry, it was a reply to another respondent to your thread who assumes my children will be having a terrible time as they don't want presents. They are going on holiday instead (their choice). Anyway, I do hope things improve financially for you in the New Year, and I appreciate it is not an easy time of the year for many families for various reasons. I know lots of people are struggling with the pressure this year, under the weight of various financial pressures that have all come at once. Just don't be hard on yourself, and I hope you have a nice Christmas despite the financial situation. I was raised in a household of quite significant poverty, but my memories were not about what presents we had or did not. It was more about spending time playing board games and so on.

goingback · 20/12/2022 22:50

my kids are between your ages , and have picked up that this year would be different, we holidayed in the UK , they know about the cost of living crisis and we told them we are also having to save up for a new roof. They have responded by only asking for things they really wanted and we have got them a few bits and pieces. Kids are resilient and respond really well to honesty. They have even started giving ideas of things we can do as a family next year that will save money.
Remember you are not a failure , your kids will appreciate the time spent together and these will be their future memories. Hope things pick up soon for you.
Have a Merry Christmas

Annabella91 · 20/12/2022 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mimi0708 · 20/12/2022 22:52

Hi OP, I actually grew up without presents at Christmas and honestly was okay and happy. It was the experience of waiting till midnight at christmas eve for me and then having food. So don't feel too guilty or bad.

beatsin8s · 20/12/2022 22:52

LolaMoon · 20/12/2022 19:16

OP- I'll let you in on a secret. I was quite a materialistic child, asked for quite extravagant gifts etc. I am an only child and was a bit spoilt at times. There were times when my parents could afford to buy me nice stuff at Christmas and times when they had to stick to a strict budget and what I got was not what I had asked for. Looking back on those times, I cannot honestly recall a single present that I received. What I DO remember is family time, the magic of Christmas and us all being together, watching films, taking the dog for walks, nice food etc- thats what I remember now as most precious to me- the memories of my mum and dad and grandparents. I lost my mum when I was in my 20s. She never got to meet my children which is a huge sadness as she always wanted to be a grandmother. I would give anything to have her back, I miss HER not the presents she bought me and they are utterly meaningless to me in the context of missing everything about her that I loved so much, my mum. What I am trying to say is that I understand why you feel this way but memories and family time is the real loveliness of Christmas and that is what you remember from childhood as an adult, not expensive gifts. Your children are blessed to have you, please dont beat yourself up over this. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas x

Beautiful post x

WickedStepmomNOT · 20/12/2022 23:01

p4p · 20/12/2022 22:22

You said you didn't want anything, but now you are accepting the poster's offer? Okay then.....

Show quote history

I was just thinking how lovely and supportive the responses were, then this one comes along...

Op said originally that the voucher offer was thoughtful but she's not accepting it - please take time to read properly.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 20/12/2022 23:01

Just a thought but Do you have any store loyalty points you could use?

GG1986 · 20/12/2022 23:03

We didn't have much money growing up, but one thing I always remember is my dad buying me a selection box and honestly it was one of the best xmas presents!

AgathaMystery · 20/12/2022 23:04

MagnoliaTaint · 20/12/2022 22:04

I've just had to explain to my DD that she's not getting the doll that was on her list. She's been asking for a while and I didn't want her to be disappointed on the day. Here's how it went:

She had a bit of a weep. I sat with her and we talked about how it was hard when you wanted something. She also had a cry about other things that had been on her mind, but that she hadn't talked about. I listened to what she had to say and how she was feeling. Made it clear I was there to listen and cared about how she feels.

Once she'd got a bit of a weep and a rage and a moan out of her system, I asked her what else she was looking forward to wrt Xmas. Here's her list:

Family
Snuggles
Hugs
Time off school
Food
Films
Chilling out.

I said at the end that presents weren't the most important thing. Her response, word for word, was that presents are the least important thing.

She knows she's not getting the doll and she's totally fine now.

I honestly promise you, OP, it's not really the presents that they want.

Other ideas: make vouchers for outings, snuggles, breakfast in bed, a trip out stargazing, camping in the sitting room, a kitchen dance party.

@MagnoliaTaint i don’t want to distract from the thread but it’s not an Our Generation Doll is it? If it is please PM me x

iminvestednow · 20/12/2022 23:05

This might have been said before a I haven’t read the whole thread but I have 3 kids and the things they most remember/ ask for year after year are the traditions! Me cooking their favourite food on Christmas Eve. Decorating the tree together, playing monopoly tournaments every night. It’s the time you spend with them that they will remember not the gifts.

ArabellaScott · 20/12/2022 23:06

Agatha, no it's not!

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