I’m dreading Christmas Day as my dc have barely and gifts

[Bluebellberry]

Things have been finically dreadful for us.
I normally love Christmas but this year I am dreading it.
We are struggling so badly we only have a couple of very, very small low cost gifts for each child. I am so deeply ashamed.I am dreading seeing their faces on Christmas morning. They only asked for 2 small things bless them but I still feel an absolute failure.
I have absolutely nothing to give to my siblings or parents.
I have nobody to talk too irl as close friends and family don’t have money issues.
Is anyone else in this position?

One little filler I recall buying for one of our children was a donkey on a stand and if you pressed under the stand the donkey's legs bent and it would dance about. After 40+ years it's still around and I can't say that about a lot of things. It costs pennies.

@scoobydoo1971 god that sounds so shit. Not a single gift, banned tv covered in dust and no social media ever.

I fully appreciate we all do things differently but that just sounds utterly depressing, poor kids

This is lovely ❤

Last year there was someone who was in a similar situation here on MN and some of the ideas were brilliant. One that springs to mind was blowing up loads of balloons and putting coins or chocolate in them. Has anyone got a link to that thread please

Hi Op

Is there any reason why you can't tell your kids that you are hard up at the moment?

The 15 yr old will understand and TBH I expect your 10 yr old does know about Santa ( you know what I mean!)

When I was 10 my dad was made redundant. It wasn't Xmas time, but I know my mum explained that from then on we'd have to be careful with money and no more treats for a while.

I remember being amazed when she bought a cake from the bakers, as that was a 'treat' (we always had homemade) but she explained that she could afford it, that week.

Give your kids some credit for being more mature than you think and just be honest.

Me
I’m in a really crap position
feel like driving into a wall tbh.

That is so incredibly kind of you. I honestly don’t want to be a burden but I really, really appreciate your kindness and thoughtfulness. I hope you have a lovely Christmas

Can you afford to pay installments.
Say £150 or you can spend less you pay £50 and the the other £100 over 2 month's interest free or you can spend less it's called klarna iv used it many of times helped me to pay for school clothes and alsorts they don't charge any interest at all you can delay payments just an idea .

Your teenager will understand just be honest in advance. I had to do the same with mine.

My DD’s favourite part is all the family fun that costs nothing, and instead of gifts, it’s her stocking, often very cheap little surprises have always been what she loved most.

Just to add to the abundance of lovely suggestions;

Reasons why I love you: A jar (or shoe box) with little cut out heart paper for each one, little ribbon or bow on the jar or box, write “reasons why i love you” the front on a paper label or directly onto it. Fill as many as you can and add to it over time.

Using free photo app or going to supermarket printing less, print one or a few favourite family and friend photos, not all the young people think to print them and enjoy them in there rooms in a frame, and instead they are lost among many pics on devices.

if you’re artistic you could cut them out and create a photo collage. My Daughter made one for her friends and then they did her one, they all loved it. Just fill all the available space in a cheap plain simple frame, doesn’t have to be large either.

@Bluebellberry , not at all! We honestly won’t use it. Please send me your email (even make a temporary one if you don’t want to give me your regular email) and I’ll send it over. I’ve been there before too, I’ve been very, very skint. Better off now and would love to help! X

I’m really concerned that I’ll worry them if they know how bad it is. I don’t want them get anxious

You should not feel ashamed . We had one year where every present we bought was from a charity shop . Including a wonky snooker table we repaired and a bike we repainted . Guess what are the presents they remember most?. Go on freecycle and get some board games and spend time together. Trust me that’s what matters.

But you don't need to say how bad it is- just that you have less money.

Honestly, all kids really want is love and time from parents.

I actually think it's worse putting on a front, especially for the 15 yr old.

Just wanted to say my local foodshare has asked for gifts as well as food-could you see if that is an option?

Charity shops also great idea. a puzzle you can do together?

I agree about being honest. You don’t have to scare them. Just say it’s a bit difficult and you will make it up to them later. It’s a life lesson .

Its genuine honesty there's 100s if retailers on there entertainer toy shop and loads of other places even argos here's a link www.klarna.com/uk/klarna-app/ admin please delete if not allowed thanks.

I wish people wouldn’t offer things on here. It just encourages others to come on with their sad stories.

I lost both my parents this year and I would do anything to just play charades and other games with them . Remember presents ? Not so much.

I’m really sorry to hear you feel the same. It’s horrible and feels like a dark maze you can’t see a way out of . But Please don’t do anything to hurt yourself 🙏

I've just had to explain to my DD that she's not getting the doll that was on her list. She's been asking for a while and I didn't want her to be disappointed on the day. Here's how it went:

She had a bit of a weep. I sat with her and we talked about how it was hard when you wanted something. She also had a cry about other things that had been on her mind, but that she hadn't talked about. I listened to what she had to say and how she was feeling. Made it clear I was there to listen and cared about how she feels.

Once she'd got a bit of a weep and a rage and a moan out of her system, I asked her what else she was looking forward to wrt Xmas. Here's her list:

Family
Snuggles
Hugs
Time off school
Food
Films
Chilling out.

I said at the end that presents weren't the most important thing. Her response, word for word, was that presents are the least important thing.

She knows she's not getting the doll and she's totally fine now.

I honestly promise you, OP, it's not really the presents that they want.

Other ideas: make vouchers for outings, snuggles, breakfast in bed, a trip out stargazing, camping in the sitting room, a kitchen dance party.

I am pretty sure that if they asked for only two small presents each they have a pretty good idea of the financial situation, and don't want to worry you.

Op - honestly post on your local facebook group or ask an admin to do it for you. Include their ages. You'll be surprised how many people have things that are even unopened that they just don't know how to get rid of.

Don't feel bad about doing it either. You'll be helping someone clear out. We have duplicates of things that my children have been given in the past (wrong ages for your kids sadly) that I would gladly give away and be happy they'd gone to a good home.

@GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut - I think that is a good idea and to @Bluebellberry I have put under the tree for DS a box with all the ingredients for making sour dough bread ( which he loves ) so no - not an X box & he has had some other presents but I am willing to bet a pound to a box of oranges that will be a lovely afternoon for him when he does it. He is a bit older than yours so presents aren't such a big thing and he does like cooking but I could see a box with ingredients for something they like wrapped up could be a nice afternoon spent after Christmas Day - but only you will know if your children would appreciate it.

@Bluebellberry As several have said- do please post or get someone to do it for you locally if you don't want to be identified. I have a ton of children books and games I would love to give to someone like yourself that really needs them - I do donate to the charity shops a lot but with these items from my son my own sentiment says I would rather they went to someone having a really tough time

I don't think they will be thinking its rubbish when they are going to a nice all-inclusive hotel in 25C sunshine for swimming, dining out every night and exploring just after Christmas. They just don't want a pile of plastic rubbish in their house, or to have social media telling them what they 'need'. They don't feel hard done by as they have a great time on holiday.