I’m dreading Christmas Day as my dc have barely and gifts

[Bluebellberry]

Things have been finically dreadful for us.
I normally love Christmas but this year I am dreading it.
We are struggling so badly we only have a couple of very, very small low cost gifts for each child. I am so deeply ashamed.I am dreading seeing their faces on Christmas morning. They only asked for 2 small things bless them but I still feel an absolute failure.
I have absolutely nothing to give to my siblings or parents.
I have nobody to talk too irl as close friends and family don’t have money issues.
Is anyone else in this position?

I’ve also got a Kanken baby pink backpack brand new and in packaging. It’s gorgeous. I genuinely want to help if I can.

I grew up relatively well off but every frickin year i never got anything i wanted. One year i got bed sheets and a duvet, I was 10! I asked for a remote control car for years and never got one. I gave up asking when my younger brother got one. We wrote lists every year but my wants got ignored.

The point is, i would have much rather had some smaller, cheaper gifts that were thoughfully given by parents who actually gave a shit about what i wanted, then most of the stuff i actually got. I'm sure your kids will love it.

My best memories of Christmas is stuffing my face with homemade baked goods and cooking with my family anyway...

Lots of fab ideas here.
We had 4 kids.
All grown up now.
But I always remember one Christmas we had to cut back, and it was the best Christmas we'd ever had.
It won't always be like this.

Have you thought about getting a subscription as a gift? To something like Netflix, or Spotify? Or the Disney channel?You often get introductory offers and if you can get something at £10 a month, that’s only a few pounds each week, paid over the year.

I don’t know where you are or if this is allowed on here but I have things I was hoping to give away to somebody more in need I’d be happy to post to you , Amazon kids fire tablets new unused toys games etc, posts like these make me so sad about the world we live in Id love to help if I can

How old are your children OP? I have a digital Amazon voucher I won on a raffle a few days ago. I can email it to you to get some small things if you like. It’s only £30 but I’m all sorted for Christmas this year and happy to pass on as we have no need for it at the moment.

Sorry if this has already been suggested, but have you got the Olio app?
People list items on there to give away for free in your area. It's food collected from supermarkets but also any unwanted things. In my area there are lots of toys on there at the moment - people always have a clear out at this time of year!

Are you on a local Fb group

I have seen so many times in the last week or two with people saying the same as you and asking if anyone has any toys /books /clothes etx that they are getting rid of

every post there are lots of replies and the above offered

can you do the same

plus you said friends and family don’t have money worries

im sure your family would be saddened if they thought you were struggling but didn’t say anything so can you speak to them

Like you, we choose to do few presents but I imagine it’s different when you know it’s a choice

OP, all the best. You’ve received some lovely ideas here. Hope some of them help

Your kids will be happy with what ever you have for them. It's family time so make it enjoyable and not about money. I have told my boy I don't have alot this year but have got bits on his list and he will be happy. None of it was expensive.
We party at Xmas with family and thats the best bit. 👌
Enjoy you Xmas and don't feel bad. X

It depends if you have a good relationship with them otherwise. I always resented my parents a bit as they clearly couldn't afford the kids they chose to have, so we missed out on lots. However, if this is just a bad year, then they may understand why.

Do you have any family who could help out with gifts/food for Christmas? We are not well off by any means but SIL has struggled this year, she’s a single mum, disabled and recently had a serious surgical procedure so myself and DH asked what her 2 young teen DDs would like and bought some stuff but they will be from DSIL not us. They’ve had other smaller gifts from us.

I had "perfect" Christmases as a child - always presents, always a big meal with all the trimmings, always with a happy and healthy extended family. The most memorable present I ever got? A clockwork mouse, because it came with a personal note from Santa (apologising for it being late - he found it while tidying his sacks). I was 3 or 4.

The best of Christmas was being with people I adored. I wouldn't have been bothered if there was cheese on toast for lunch. Although I might have missed the brandy butter!

Exactly this.

parents stop spending so much

Go to somewhere like The Works. You can buy a lot of stocking filler bits there very cheap.

Alternatively, go to the library and take out lots of new books, wrap them up and give them as gifts. After they’ve read them a few times they won’t even notice when they’ve been returned (especially as you can distract with new ones). Then at least they have things to open.

Don’t feel any guilt or shame. We’ve been brainwashed to think mass consumption is normal with ALL THE STUFF and it’s not, it’s actually pretty gross. Our parents generation used to get given an orange each Christmas and a board game for the children of the family to share between them and they were happy!

Enjoy your Christmas x

Bluebel, I am in the same boat.
My two are 14 and 12. They are at their Dads at the moment, due back on boxing day. I have bought the both a winter coat on ebay (which they did pick but not at all expensive and not their first choice but they do need a new coat each). I said to them when they left you do know that is the christmas present you will get when you get back from your dads. They said "I know" but I am hoping and praying they really do know that and do not think somehow that i have something else for them because i dont. I am hoping to make it up with fun actvities and maybe a film on the tv we can all watch together

I'm surprised at how shocking you find it too.

the popcorn seeds are the most cost effective way to get lots of popcorn.

I know how you feel.

My parents were short of money when I was a teenager, among other reasons because the local state school was crap so they had to put my brother and me in a private school. It wasn't expensive but the cost was definitely felt.
One Christmas my gifts were:

• two pairs of socks
• a friendship diary
• something else equally small

I tried to avoid the questions about what I got for Christmas. Several of my class mates were from families that did very well and they got huge expensive gifts so I was embarrassed.

I think I ruined all my class mates' Christmas after glow when I told them what I got. No one said another word about Christmas after that.

There are very few presents I remember from my childhood, however there is one that I have a very clear memory of.

One year, my Mum told my twin sister and I that she didn't have money for any birthday presents, in the end she got us each a can of body spray and a hair tie.

It stands out for me because despite struggling to pay the bills she still scrounged together enough to get us SOMETHING.

Your kids will be fine, Christmas isn't about how many presents you get or how much they cost.

As for your family, as long as you tell them in advance if you usually exchange gifts then it's fine. Even now being so close to Christmas, I'd have no problem with a family member explaining a situation like this and I'd still happily give them and their kids a gift.

The pressure for buying at Christmas baffles me. Never ending adverts pushed on the nation from October to buy stuff that will be down the landfill in no time, and racked up on credit cards by well intentioned Christmas fans. My kids will be getting nothing this year, and they got nothing last year. Since grandparents have died, I don't see the point as we are not even religious. I am able to afford to buy them presents but they were raised in a household with no TV. I never stopped them watching it, but they saw their parents did not and followed that behaviour. The TV collected dust and ended up in the charity shop. They are banned from using social media, so have limited exposure to advertising. We stopped celebrating Christmas altogether when they became teenagers, and prefer to go on holiday instead. That is family time spent somewhere warm, and without the pressure to gift-give, fret over dinner and drag out tinsel. If they asked me to buy them gifts then I might do that, but they don't want anything and don't crave the latest gadgets so freely admit they don't want anything. My point to you is that you should step back from the pressure to buy, buy, buy, and focus on the fact that Christmas is a time to spend with family and friends. Presents don't make kids happy, or they only like them for a short time until the next trend arrives to distract. Time around a table chatting, playing cards etc costs next to nothing.

I've been there OP and it is isolating, sending you some big hugs and love ❤️

I full on FORGOT easter one year... everything was shut as it was a bank holiday but I eventually managed to find a garage that had a couple of smashed up easter eggs on clearance.

You know what? my kid didn't care, didn't notice and after all that... didn't even eat the bloody egg (he just wasn't interested).

This thread is genius! Such lovely thoughtful Christmases. Hope this is helping you OP. Xxx

One way we used to make a lot of a little when ours were young was to wrap every little thing, eg if I went to the pound shop or similar and bought a pack of 4 colouring books we would wrap each one individually. I suppose this depends on the age of your children but I think when children are young parents fret more about things like this than the children. I hope you manage to have a lovely Chrisitmas with your family.