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Is this a mean thing to do on Christmas Day?

772 replies

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:09

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

OP posts:

Lolacat1234 · 10/12/2022 19:25

Horrible thing to do and exactly the reason why Santa should only bring a stocking and maybe one extra present. Why should Santa get all the credit for those expensive things as well. It's not fair if one kid gets an iPad from Santa but he didn't bring one for the other poorer kid that wanted one too. Parents should buy the big stuff. It's a nasty thing to do to a kid on Xmas especially if he sees his siblings have not been forgotten.


SuperCamp · 10/12/2022 19:25


Why would she okay along encouraging a 9 year old to believe in Santa and then mix that up with teaching them to be ‘humble’.

It makes no sense. Santa is about ‘magic’. Doesn’t connect to real
life ‘humble’ . Surely magic is about wishing for dreams and the unrealistic. Whilst 9 year olds do understand about affordable or not.

She sounds stupid and cruel.


Justcallmebebes · 10/12/2022 19:26

Actions of a psychopath


lunar1 · 10/12/2022 19:26

What a lovely way for your friend to ensure her child has anxiety surrounding Christmas forever more. She's seriously going to leave her child thinking Santa forgot her all day?


Falalalalaaah · 10/12/2022 19:26

Mean, weird and pointless


Poppins17 · 10/12/2022 19:27

Not a good idea. Better to have the discussion with your child once s/he doesn’t believe about the value of money etc.


Tannedandfake · 10/12/2022 19:27

Horribly mean!! U need to explain to DC that Father Xmas brings their stocking and parents provide the rest


Georgeskitchen · 10/12/2022 19:28

Hell fire why would you deliberately upset a 9 year old? He's got time aplenty to realise santa isn't real. Why spoil the magic just because you can?
Nasty trick


PurBal · 10/12/2022 19:28

Father Christmas doesn’t bring expensive gifts. And we do family presents in the afternoon, so there’s always a wait to find out what you’re getting. I don’t think it’s mean persay, but it’s mean to single him out.


vinoandbrie · 10/12/2022 19:28

How horrible. What type of dreadful parent would do that?


EarringsandLipstick · 10/12/2022 19:30

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:15

I'm not the parent. Btw.
My friend is going to do this.
I'm trying to guage if my reaction/thoughts are "right". I'm thinking it's a fucking pointless and mean thing to do and the kid will be miserable and confused the entire day and will (quite rightly) be upset by it all and end up angry/crying etc
And probably never forgive or forget the "lesson".

I knew as I read your OP it wasn't you, just phrased that way for maximum impact & outrage FFS.

You knew well not a single person would think this was fine. 😑


beatsin8s · 10/12/2022 19:31

How is it teaching them to be humble? They believe in Santa so believe he will get them the one thing they asked for.

You'd allow one child to receive a switch from Santa and let another think all day that Santa hasn't bothered with theirs?

Super mean.


CheeseIsMyPatronus · 10/12/2022 19:31

Mean and pointless. The poor kid will be so upset.

The parents should just explain Father Christmas brings the stocking presents and the big presents are from them.


Crabbi · 10/12/2022 19:32

Honestly I think the child knows there is no Father Christmas and is ‘testing’. I’m not sure what the point of doing it your friend’s way is though. The child will get stroppy and throw a tantrum, but will be eventually rewarded with the present they want, so not really sure what the lesson is?


Dutchesss · 10/12/2022 19:33

Mean, if you have just the one child.
Horribly nasty when you have three children of similar ages and the other two are receiving expensive gifts.
Great way to show the child on Christmas that they are the least important.


ThePoint678 · 10/12/2022 19:34

So mean. Parent your child and talk to them (before now) about expectations and presents.


Ch3wylemon · 10/12/2022 19:35

I don't think you need to be mean but I do think you need to manage expectations or your child will "believe" for ever more.

Could you give the iPad when they break up from school as a reward for working hard / help with future education item and give a modest present on Christmas Day. Just be careful to add that this is a one off situation.


TiredButAlive · 10/12/2022 19:36

Sorry, why would you?


Hellybelly84 · 10/12/2022 19:36

Very mean and cant really understand why you would do this? My son only really stopped properly believing in Year 6 (still likes visiting Santa though). Make it as magical as possible whilst they still properly believe. It will be teenage years and dragging them out of bed for presents in the blink of an eye.


reallyhatewinter · 10/12/2022 19:36

Really fucking mean.


Mummysatthebodyshop · 10/12/2022 19:37

They won't remember it the same as you when they grow up. They will remember the crushing disappointment. Why do that on purpose when you do have it for them? For kicks?


Suedomin · 10/12/2022 19:37

Very mean


Bex268 · 10/12/2022 19:37

Really bloody awful.

so lucky to have 3 children, yet you want to ruin one of your children’s day.


B1993 · 10/12/2022 19:38


My son is 3 but I’m teaching him early that parents/family buy presents. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him not to believe in Santa and still love that magical time but Santa fills the stockings, Mum and Dad buy the main gifts. Might be worth introducing this to the younger DC if possible?


Whiskeypowers · 10/12/2022 19:38

If you want to look like a total bitch and a peculiar unkind parent then crack on

otherwise I’d grow up

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