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Is this a mean thing to do on Christmas Day?

772 replies

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:09

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

OP posts:
Bluebellsparklypant · 11/12/2022 23:01

But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble

its mean and how would this teach them to be humble! It will leave them feeling miserable and confused for the day. If this is something you would like to teach your child there are much better ways to start. If you feel they shouldn’t still believe in Santa at 9 then the conversation should of started earlier than now

Toohot2handle · 11/12/2022 23:02

I always tell mine that you have so many credits with santa and certain presents are too expensive. They seem to accept that anyway.

StaunchMomma · 11/12/2022 23:04

That wouldn't make a child more 'humble' but it would make the parents utter twats.

MancLass76 · 11/12/2022 23:06

If giving your other children their big presents it’s just mean to hold the iPad back and will likely give the wrong message about comparisons with their siblings.
Know down to personal choice but in our house the kids understand (or get reminded) the gifts in their stocking come from Santa (all smaller/cheaper stocking fillers) but the rest are from us or other family. That way they can’t boast to other kids who get less what ‘Santa brought them’, and they understand if they don’t behave and are ungrateful they don’t get what they asked for from us.

MamaFirst · 11/12/2022 23:06

Read the thread people. It's not her, it's a friend.

WondrousWinger · 11/12/2022 23:11


PawPaworPapaya · 11/12/2022 23:26

She's being mean, and it's not going to get her point across at all.

Trishthedish · 11/12/2022 23:51

Cruel beyond belief. A situation that you have created, Santa gets the stocking stuff not big presents, you have led your child to believe that Santa will deliver so only yourself to blame.

ZaraD · 11/12/2022 23:53

Santa in our house only buys small gifts! Stuff like that comes from mummy and daddy! Why should Santa get all the credit for big gifts when we work so hard!

Spinninsweetness · 12/12/2022 00:22

Cruel and downright mean.

RavenofEngland · 12/12/2022 00:23

I have a similar issue with my 12-year-old. He’s after a PS5 and has decided to ask for Santa to buy it for him. I have been trying to explain Santa does not buy expensive gifts. That gifts like that should come from family. I certainly can’t afford a PS5 neither can his father. I think it’s wrong that children believe that Santa will get them anything they ask regardless of cost. The Santa gift should be something small, modest, inexpensive and thoughtful.

SydneyMamma · 12/12/2022 00:41

It's so mean. Don't do it.

Mamanyt · 12/12/2022 00:45

PLEASE do not do this to this child on what will almost certainly be his last "Father Christmas" Christmas morning. Let him have only good memories to take forward with him into adulthood.

JMR185 · 12/12/2022 00:57

This is worse than mean, it's definitely not the act of a loving parent. A parent choosing to spoil Christmas day for their child, actually wanting to cause such disappointment and be so unkind is, in my view, somewhat twisted.

NotBloodyCovid · 12/12/2022 01:21

Awful awful idea.
They won't ever forget how it made them feel

SLS500 · 12/12/2022 01:52

Are they usually this unkind towards their eldest child?

Zodiacsigns · 12/12/2022 02:48

What you're planning is bizarre and won't teach the child anything except their parents are nasty shits, once they understand what you've done.

You're the one who lied to them for years about Santa existing. You can't blame the child for believing you! When asked for an iPad, you had the perfect opportunity to sit down and explain Santa is a fairy tale to make Christmas magical for small children but now they're growing up it's time to know Santa doesn't exist and you, the parents, have been buying the presents all along. This is the part your child currently doesn't understand.

It's you who lied to them in the first place, so explain the truth nicely. Not by witholding a longed for present.

By providing the present later in the day anyway and still not explaining about Santa not existing, all you'll do is upset your child for the morning when they think Santa forgot about them. Are you teenage parents? Because it sounds like a plan dreamt up by children.

sashh · 12/12/2022 05:03

Many many years ago my maternal grand parents had an Xmas eve tradition. Their three girls all had a bath, put on new PJs, hung up their pillowcase and went to bed.

My aunt who is now in her 70s refused to have a bath and put on clean PJs. She was told she would only get a piece of coal and a mucky potato.

On Christmas morning her two sisters each had a pillowcase full of presents, my aunt was given a potato and a piece of coal.

After a few mins her parents showed her that Santa had actually hidden her presents behind the sofa.

My aunt refused to look and played with the coal and potato all day.

Please tell your friend this story.

Cherryana · 12/12/2022 05:31

Not read the full thread but your friend is looking at the child’s behaviour through adult lens.

It’s not pride and expectation that is causing the child to tell everyone Santa is getting them an iPad - it’s faith.

The child doesn’t need humbling he just needs loving.

Twinsmummy1812 · 12/12/2022 06:42

Horrible idea. Pretty crappy thing to even consider. Hope this isn’t real

EternalCountrygirl · 12/12/2022 06:56

It is mean. There will be plenty of opportunities to teach humility through the years, Christmas morning is not the time. He could remember that forever. Show your love

Seagull97 · 12/12/2022 06:58

Eeeeeeeeewwwww nasty. You just want him to be grateful to you don’t you? Guaranteed this is something he will never forget or forgive.

jamdonut · 12/12/2022 07:15

Santa doesn’t bring it - it’s a present from you instead.

Heyhoitsme · 12/12/2022 08:00

Mean and downright nasty.

dejacqueray · 12/12/2022 08:20

Can I make a suggestion. If your child still believes in Santa, what about a letter from Santa explaining mums and dads pay for the presents, he just delivers them blah blah blah

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