Is this a mean thing to do on Christmas Day?

[AFewScrewsLucy]

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

[Dreamwhisper]

@ReneBumsWombats

Why did he do it?

I genuinely believe that some people think that the delayed surprise and the resulting disappointment beforehand, somehow makes the surprise of then being given a gift (when you thought you had nothing) more lovely and exciting.

Because I believe that some people genuinely do think that, I don't think they do it to be cruel. But, I personally think it's horrid, and embarrassing, and unnecessary, and as people are confirming here, the resultant gift coming to fruition doesn't actually always make up for the fact that the person was made to feel like shit at a time when everyone else was happy and they were left out.

I HATE the whole tricking to make things more exciting schtick. I remember watching a Youtube video about an abusive "family" youtuber and one of the things he did was smash one of his son's Xbox's to pieces with a hammer. He pretended (and really committed) to be really angry. A few minutes later after letting his son stew in his hurt, confusion and bewilderment, his dad presented him with a brand new Xbox model.

Do people like that not understand the concept of sentimental value? And that must have been fucking traumatic. Cruelty is not a good lesson to teach children!

[NoNameNowAgain]

I think the German way is better. St Nick on his own day with sweets and Christmas just being an exchange of presents.
It’s all got a bit weird and complicated with different wrapping paper and so on.

The parent friend in this scenario seems to be thick at best.

[GreenSunfish]

I’d rethink that plan unless you want to ruin their Christmas.

[T1Dmama]

Mean.
I would just explain to him that parents still have to pay Santa for their presents… I always told my daughter that we got a bill before christmas.
making him wait ALL day will ruin his Christmas and make him miserable… why would you consider that!…
just tell him now weeks before Christmas that he’s acting spoilt and Santa won’t even come if it continues

[PollyPurpose]

Not mean, but cruel.

you either explain now that Santa brings all children the same gifts and that they’re not expensive items.

and that your main presents which cost lots of money are ones you as a parent save and work hard for.

by ruining his Christmas until the end of the day you’ll be doing no good, just harm. Poor kid.

I still remember at 12 being really upset about something I now realise as an adult was silly. But I wanted the Nokia 3310 that everyone had. My parents decided that I should have another Nokia (same price) because that’s what they thought. I was so upset then I got told off for being ungrateful.

[Sparkle5]

Totally mean and controlling what is wrong with you? WTF!!! Maybe you should be denied food all day to teach you to be more humble.
I have no words🤦‍♀️.

[Whatthebarnacles]

Mean.
But I see where you're coming from.

When I told our eldest son about santa (he knew, I was just confirming), his head nearly fell off "omg how? you must spend a fortune mum!"... it was from then onwards that I spent less each year as he truly appreciates the value and how hard we have to work for that money.

So let him have it this year without the cruel twist, and he will remember it and reflect on it in a couple of years - appreciating what you did for him.

[MrsLawrence1]

That’s just vile!

[Bleachmycloths]

Mean. Mean. Mean. Controlling and cruel. How could you even think it’s ok to do that? Absolutely shitty. I sincerely hope you don’t go through with this terrible idea. IMOits emotional abuse.

[LadyEloise1]

Please show her this thread @AFewScrewsLucy

[Pepsi2001]

Very mean to do that to a child, why would you!

[Pogue4Life]

I would say I’m a mean parent but then again I would question why I would have thought to start giving my children the expensive presents and saying they were from Santa and not show the children MY hard work pays for the expensive presents.
Santa shouldn’t get credit for the most expensive stuff.

[Scotland32]

Mean

[GrannyMack]

I think it's mean, plain and simple. What is it going to achieve? It actually makes me feel anxious on behalf of the child.

[Moira1951]

Horrid thing to do! Why would you even think of that! Nasty!!!!

[AlecTrevelyan006]

Mean

[Twentyfirstcenturymumma]

Horrible, mean and pointless... what an upsetting thing to read

[Skinnyunderneath]

A truly horrible and shitty thing to do to a child. Why are you surprised that a 9 year old still believes? My 10 yr old does, and we have never felt the need to say to any of our other older kids that He isnt real! Its a fun and magical time, enter into the spirit of it and dont ruin it for your child. They grow up too fast as it is and the world is a shit enough place, lets have a bit of magic once a year, i hate hate hate those people who feel they have to tell their kids there is no santa. They dont. Kids realise it without being told but why not play along and have a nice time? You must have a real nasty streak to think of doing that to your child, let them be excited and believe and dont spoil it you miserable bast**d.

[AnotherLogOnTheFire]

I think you sound very confused - what is the point of Christmas to you and what have you created - sometimes we can all get carried away with how we deliver Christmas - we lie to our kids about Santa and we can't punish them for believing the magic but it's not the right time to gently explain the reality.

[Vegay]

Don't tell your children Father Christmas buys their presents. You buy them and he delivers them. That stops children from being entitled, and hopefully makes those who can afford fuck all to feel a little better.

I've never understood why an adult would tell a child that Father Christmas buys their gifts when they know some other children get fuck all. It's the worse thing about Christmas for me, and I'm not short of a bob or two.

[Nannynono]

Mean and unkind

[LunchBoxPolice]

This has made me really sad to think of a child being treated like that on Christmas Day.

[InPraiseOfBacchus]

Not just mean, completely pointless. 9 is still too young to figure out the difference between Santa gifts and parent gifts in a lot of cases. Your friend needs to think very hard about why they have built up such strongly adversarial feelings towards their own kid, and/or the need to win petty little moral victories against a young child.

[Hagpie]

So others have addressed the method so I’ll take a different approach. Your AIM is to humble a child on Christmas morning… what the fuck is wrong with you?

[NoNameNowAgain]

@Vegay

Don't tell your children Father Christmas buys their presents. You buy them and he delivers them. That stops children from being entitled, and hopefully makes those who can afford fuck all to feel a little better.

I've never understood why an adult would tell a child that Father Christmas buys their gifts when they know some other children get fuck all. It's the worse thing about Christmas for me, and I'm not short of a bob or two.

But, what’s the point of him then if you buy the gifts?
Why not just cut out the middle man?