The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

I can't ponce til November, work stuff in the way, but I am very much looking forward to starting!

Thanks you for making a thread x

I'm having an autumnal Ponce as we speak, have been artfully arranging squash much to DH's disgust 😂
Planning to bake the Christmas cake tomorrow. Was hoping to make cranberry and clementine chutney from this year's Christmas Country Living magazine, but can't find frozen cranberries anywhere 😭

👋 to poncers old and new! 🎄🎄🎄

Placemarking to follow along with the thread, although I’m not sure I’ll be a very committed poncer this year. But I’ll certainly be indulging in plenty of Yuletide hygge!

@glasshole I LOVE those angel decorations......do you sell them anywhere? 👀

I made the Christmas cake a few weeks ago and have given it it's first (whiskey) and second (Cointreau) feeds. Thinking brandy and amaretto for the next two feeds but will see what mood I'm in when the time comes round.

I've also made some cranberry and orange gin as a bit of an experiment this year.....how long do others leave their flavoured gins before straining and re-bottling?

Hi everyone… I’m thinking of making some mini crochet Christmas stockings for the children at my new church, maybe putting some chocolate or sweets in them. I don’t know if it’s a good idea or not, I haven’t been going there long! But I feel the need to ponce.

@ThreeRingCircus have you done a whiskey cake before? I’ve just put my fruit on to soak in whiskey for the first time (as needed a new bottle of something and it’s what I fancied drinking!) so fingers crossed. I used rum, amaretto and chambord last year.

I’ve just strained my blackberry gin 4 weeks late and the cinnamon was really strong so my advice is to stick to whatever the recipe says not sure I can gift it now

Has anyone tried nigella's chocolate Christmas cake? I usually do Delia's, but felt like a change this year. Can't decide if chocolatey fruit cake sounds amazing or strange!

@BeastOfBODMAS I've used whiskey before in Christmas cake and it works well. I always do a mix of alcohol for soaking the fruit and for feeding as I think it gives the best flavour (and we always have plenty in the house! 🫢)

I usually use whiskey, brandy, rum, amaretto and Cointreau in any combination for soaking/feeding. This year I soaked my fruit in the apricot brandy I made last year from Nigel Slater's Christmas Chronicles. It was too strong with star anise for me but I figured it would work well as part of the recipe for the Christmas cake so hasn't gone to waste!

I may have to give the cranberry gin a taste test to see how it's getting on..... 🤣

I make fresh garlands for the staircase most years. I have a garden of 6 acres, plus I'm out in the sticks so no shortage of material. Florist wire: essential. Good secateurs: essential. I usually make them on rope, but my top tip for an easy life is a super cheap 'evergreen' garland Think Pound Shop or Home Bargains. Use this as a base and your fresh material will go much further as any gaps will be filled by the cheapo garland. The technique I've found that works best is to make a little posie of mixed evergreens and wire them onto the base. Then make another and wire that over the twiggy stems of the first, so that they are hidden. And on you go. Short lengths of cut evergreens work best, so it's surprising how far you green material goes once you get started. I thread occasional small dark red baubles in at intervals, or perhaps a bit of ribbon or an ivy trail.
It's not difficult to make them look very professional. Only thing is, it leaves me with dermatitis as I'm allergic to pine sap. Greater love hath no woman for Christmas oneupmanship...
It's the best season for holly berries for years and years. The trees are laden. I should get a market stall!

Holdmecloser good information from Bideshi above.

Basically you can use any garlands, or willow, or long bendy branches. Wisteria is especially good if you know anyone cutting some.

you can use string or insulation tape, ribbon, florist wire is good under ribbon. Basically tie each bit securely to the last. I usually tie twice.

the greenery keeps well outside but dries quickly in central heating so I try not to put it up too soon.

Mine are usually a bit ramshackle. I have a small garden but collect from walks.

Here’s one where I let one of the kids (young teen) do their own thing with stuff from the garden. I love the vibe which is somewhat 70’s rather than Christmas.

@TheSandgroper that quince recipe looks fab. We have a surfeit of quinces this year, so that should use up a few.

Christmas cake to be made next week. Not sure what else yet...

@BeastOfBODMAS could you try to rescue it maybe? Add something like raspberries and a bit more gin? or even some sloes and rosehips to make it into a bramble gin? There's be enough time before christmas to infuse it again.

I've got a long weekend off work coming up and I'm really looking forward to some Christmas prep. I treated myself to the 'Christmas at River Cottage' book and it is truly Poncetastic.

Thank you @noodledoodler great idea, I will try to get out for some sloes.
I should taste test it with some apple juice first as might go with the cinnamon

Enjoy your long weekend @VivaJen , DH and I have been re watching river cottage recently as it’s so calm and gentle after a long day

@BeastOfBODMAS
Good idea about the Apple juice maybe then add a bit more brandy?
I made chilli jam that was too hot so I tested mixing an equal amount with apricot jam and reheating then letting cool. It worked so re did the whole batch ( apart from one small jar for DS). It’s really nice now.
On the poncing front I have made Jamie Oliver’s get ahead gravy and also a veggie version and that’s in the freezer. I might stand alone on this one but I really rate it. No no no! to the star anise tho.
Also marmalade gin started.
My Sarah Raven Paperwhites arrived and are in a dark cupboard until mid November.
I had Covid recently and now have creaky lungs. OOH Dr sent ambulance last night but they were happy with high dose of anti biotics for chest infection and a lecture not to try and walk it off and to rest so I am under my Woolly Candy’s Hug and dozing.

Normally a lurker on these threads but though I'd check in.

Today I searched the shed for my jars & pebbles from last year's paperwhites, to find that I had forgotten to remove the bulbs from the jars and they have already grown as tall as last year's fully grown paperwhites. Reckon there's any chance that they'll bloom? Debating whether to keep them and see if they bloom (no buds but still sprouting some new shoots) or bin them and clean the jars ready for this year's bulbs.

We grew extra last year and gave them as gifts to teachers in small pots.

Trumpton I hope you feel much better soon.

@snugglyblanket
To be honest I would think your bulbs would be blind eg. No flowers.
I would repot just in case, in potting compost to give them a chance but start new ones as gifts.
@HannahDefoesTrenchcoat. Thank you. Just coughed myself into a hot sweaty mess so propped up in bed. Ain’t it grand!!

I managed to watch a tutorial on YT about making self binding placements over the weekend- which looked much simpler than the previous version of mats I had made. So I plan to make some for our table and also some as presents in 2 weeks time (I am going to a holiday house for midterm, solo, in peace and quiet for most of the week - 1 DSibling has invited themselves there for the weekend).

I also plan to see some grocery bags with a pocket to fold them into as gifts. And a little pouch for DD to hold bits and bobs in. I might also bring, just in case I actually get everything done, my bag of felt pieces to make some fake food for DNiece - I made some for another DNiece before which was well received but it is fiddly so it's let on the list.

I also need to buy more cheap gin for my clementine gin as the peels are no longer covered in gin. For people who have made this one before, should I add the juice of a clementine or 2 to sweeten it, or is it supposed to be quite bitter from the oils?

Oooh @BiddyPop might you post a link please? I can't find mats I like, so maybe I could ponce some!

Also, I've been thinking about making a jar of Advent candles like these. You can buy the teeny candles quite cheaply and I think you could glue something like the screw lid from a bottle of food colouring onto the jar lid as the candle holder, and then spray paint?

Would a metal thimble do for the candle holder part? I bet there are some beautiful vintage ones to be found in the charity shops

That's a lovely idea Beast!

Hi @Dillidilly,
It is a tutorial from the Shabby Fabrics channel, , I hope that's the link. But it's called "How to make a self-binding placemat" and was released in June of this year.

The grocery bag tutorial I was watching was quite an old one on Virginia Lindsay's channel (one of her oldest).
My subscriptions are a weird mix of sewing, Christmas decorating and sailing mostly....