The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Thank you @BiddyPop!

Pincers, I need your advice.

We are spending Xmas in a holiday cottage in the middle of nowhere - lovely rustic vibes but also 50min drive to the nearest town with shops, and we can't check in until 5pm on the 23rd.

As far as I know, the cottage isn't decorated for Xmas. I am going to email and ask if it can be done, at least a bit, but I'm not holding out a lot of hope for that.

What can I do to ponce it up a bit? I'm not going to have a lot of space in the car so taking a lot of stuff with me is unlikely to happen.

So far I'm thinking take a shed load of fairy lights and go foraging for greenery on the morning of the 24th.

Pincers?!? Poncers!

Yes. Shedload of fairy lights, pack of tea lights with one or two festive holders, a little bottle of Christmassy essential oil mix, and you’re good to go!

Foraging for greenery on the 24th sounds exactly the kind of poncing one should do in your situation!

Ooh scented candle / oils! That's an excellent idea. I'm not going to have a lot of money (it all went on the cottage!) but that's doable for not a lot. There's a lot burner which will help with the whole Christmassy vibe but the right smells will definitely add to it.

You’ll get a lot more value with a good quality essential oil than a candle as the cheaper end of scented candles usually isn’t great.

Bring a bag of oranges and a little jar of cloves, then you can have a cosy hour or two of making pomanders on the 24th and they’ll add a beautiful natural fragrance for the next few days!

First things first, start making gluhwein or mulled wine as soon as you arrive to get a Christmas mood, smell, and spirit.

I love the idea of a pack flat pop up tree but haven’t found one I actually like enough to buy yet. So if a tree isn’t an option for you, decorate everything else - lights galore, find a place to hang stockings.

I love the idea of foraging the following day!

Mulled wine is a great idea too, thanks.

@Trumpton That's what I'm guessing too. Yes, I think I might pot them up and give them a chance. If all else fails, it's extra greenery. Hope you feel better soon.

@SirSamVimesCityWatch a cabin sounds lovely and fairy lights & greenery sounds perfect. Scents are a great idea, and don't forget your favourite treats & a warm blanket for in front of that log burner in the evening! That's exactly the sort of thing I'd like to do for Christmas once the DC are grown up.

@SirSamVimesCityWatch I hope they get back to you and let you know that there is a bit of Christmas cheer in the cottage - definitely take some Christmas decorations with you if you can squeeze them in. We did Christmas at Center Parcs when my youngest was a toddler and I was totally unprepared for decorating the cabin. I'd expected it to be the same as when we'd visited in summer but they actually put a tree in the cabin and a wreath on the door. I was a bit sad that the tree was bare considering I had boxes of decorations at home. If you are foraging for greenery then can I suggest taking a little box with gloves, secateurs, a reel of florist wire and some festive ribbon.

I've finished DD2's wreath for her classroom and I've started a pair of socks that SIL wants to give to BIL for Christmas.

Love the wreath! Very talented.

Fingers crossed for cottage decs. I stayed in a cabin once & took fairy lights, folding tree (small but put it on a table), christmassy jelly window stickers & tonnes of paper chains!!!

For decorating a cottage, could you bring an envelope of strips of coloured paper and tape or a stapler, to let DCs make some chains on 24th to keep them busy?

And use some plain paper or a few sheets of newspaper to make strings of paper angels or just snowflakes to tape onto windows.

You can also buy posters of a tree to put on the wall, which you could decorate with stickers or use command hooks to hang things.

@SirSamVimesCityWatch you've got a log burner - you could put a heat proof dish/little saucepan on top, fill it with water and add xmas spices, orange peel and some forages pine needles for a lovely xmas scent. As it heats up it'll spread throughout the house

Loving all of these ideas, thank you!

@TheWoollybacksWife that wreath is brilliant!

@Dillidilly your advent candles look lovely...I might just have to look for similar.

Do any of you know about amaryllis? I kept last years bulb & while it seems very shrunken compared to when I put it in the cupboard, I'm reasonably sure I can see a fresh shoot. Do you reckon it's worth trying this year with the same bulb?

@Trumpton would you share your marmalade gin recipe? Sounds lovely!

@Restlessinthenorth

HERE YOU GO…MARMALADE GIN
I put sugar in mine as well about 250gms.

@TheWoollybacksWife
Brilliant Wreath.
I am thinking of digging out my double ended needles and doing a few more of these knitted balls.
The last ones I made I put a “ball-pit” ball in by swishing it in and re-inflating with a straw.

squashing

I love the baubles @Trumpton My DH buys me a voucher for my LYS every Christmas and birthday. I'm tempted to use my next one on a colour work lesson.

Those balls are lovely @Trumpton ! I’d love to do a whole tree worth with tasteful white lights and little else.

If I get on ok with making gifts I might do another stocking this year and fill it with treats for myself

@lucysmam I wish they were my Advent candles...just aspirational/inspirational!

I think your amaryllis bulb should grow in some fresh bulb compost.

@Dillidilly just looking at the picture and wondering whether you could use one of those sugar dispenser/pourer things??

Oh yes, good idea @kiwi17!
Although I fear it will be a 'next year' project...I still haven't finished some autumn bunting 🙄

Hello again everyone! 🎄🎄🎄

LOVE the wreath @TheWoollybacksWife! I wish I had the patience to learn to crochet. As I said on the thread last year, I already have a hook and white wool for snowflakes/stars, so I really should just start!!

I finally did the paperwhites last year but I clearly didn’t manage to stunt them properly as they grew quite tall! I didn’t do them in jar/vase so I ended up having to tie ribbon around to help stabilise the stems. They looked lovely and it was fun to grow them, but neither of us could stand the pollen/smell so sadly I won’t be doing it again this year.

We liked the cranberry gin I made last year but the marmalade gin sounds great too so I might try that this year!