The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

I tried unsuccessfully to persuade DH to get a crab apple tree at the garden centre today in a preemptive move for next year's poncing.

Would you mind sharing your mincemeat slices recipe @livingthegoodlife ? I've got a family event before Christmas and a jar of mincemeat that I made last year that I'd like to use up.

@TheWoollybacksWife that's what I did, I used up a half open jar from last year. I'll try & post a photo of the recipe in a mo. It's from Delia's Christmas book. I used part wholeflour & part white. & Real butter not margarine.

You need a crabapple tree!

It's wonky, bit hopefully you can read it. They're super easy to make.

& A pic of the jelly just because it looks festive.

That's brilliant, thank you. Your crabapple jelly looks amazing.

mincemeat slices here:

theordinarycook.co.uk/2012/11/14/mincemeat-bars/

www.deliaonline.com/recipes/type-of-dish/party-food/canapes-nibbles/wholefood-mincemeat-slices?amp

And just because it’s the Poncetastic thread, a list of Delia’s mincemeat recipes

www.deliaonline.com/recipes/main-ingredient/mincemeat

Accidentally posted on the old prep thread.

Aaaanyway. I've spent yesterday going through my glass scraps and have started shaping my little off cuts and spare bits into festive angels. They will have a halo when finished. I think I'm going to donate these to the local cats and dogs home to fund raise at their festive fundraiser. Some will be set to hang on a tree or in a window and some will free stand as tea light holders.

Love a bit of Christmas crafting 🎄

@PooterLoop For your quinces

Candied Quince

1kg quince
500g sugar x 2
500ml water
1g citric acid
Icing sugar

Day 1
Peel, core and quarter the quince. Store in acidulated water. aNring the 500ml water, peel and cores to the boil (do not use an alumina pot) and simmer, covered for 20 minute. Discard the quince bits and keep the pectin water.

Simmer the quince quarters in the pectin water for 15 minutes and remove with a slotted spoon. Add 500g of sugar and stir to dissolve slowly.

Dice evenly the cooled quince. Add to the syrup, bring to the boil and simmer for 5 minutes. Turn off the heat and leave until tomorrow.

Day 2
Add the second 500g sugar to the quince in syrup, heat gently to dissolve the sugar. Bring to the boil and simmer for 5 minutes. Turn off the heat and leave until tomorrow.

Day 3
Bring to the boil, simmer for five minutes. Turn off the heat and leave until tomorrow.

Day 4
Bring to the boil, simmer for 5 minutes, add the citric acid. Turn off the heat and leave until tomorrow.

Day 5
With a slotted spoon, remove the quince dice (which will be very dark pink now) and drain on a plate. Change plates and turn the quince every few hours over a couple of days. They should be drying out so leave in a draught or a warm corner.

Dredge in icing sugar. If the sugar dissolves, it needs to dry more. (Apparently. Mine just would not get that dry and I’m in Perth!). However, store when you are ready in an airtight jar or tin. Use the syrup for something else.

This ends up almost like good Turkish Delight.

@wonderingwhatsnext www.gumtree.com/search?featured_filter=false&urgent_filter=false&sort=date&search_scope=false&photos_filter=false&search_category=all&q=Linen+table+cloth&tq=&search_location=&search-gumtree=

@TheSandgroper thank you so much - I wish I'd seen this yesterday as I decided to do the pickled quince from the Chronicles.

The glass angels look beautiful. Well done!

I'm not that good at craft poncing. Mostly the baking.

Ooh, I like that!

Ideas for advent activities:
-snowman pancakes
-Christmas carol service
-printed lyrics to a carol/song that you sing together
-pantomime
-gather old books/toys for charity shop

• make paper chains
• a Christmassy joke/charade to act out
• make white wool Pom poms and have a "snowball fight"

So I have bought paperwhites bulbs and glass jars! What kind of alcohol do you feed them with to stunt growth and when do you do that from? Thanks!

I have never thought of ikea for Christmassy bits but will now. Like the look of some of the bits they have

@kiwi17
see my post at 17.02 yesterday.
I start mine mid November on pebbles and water. About 3 weeks in tip water out and replace with 1 :7 alcolhol solution. This will stunt greenery but not affect the flowers. More details to follow

@glasshole
The angels are beautiful!💕

I have blackberry gin going for the past 3 weeks, and put a few clementine peels in another jar a week ago with more Gin and a couple of star anise - I plan to keep adding peels as we eat the clementines.

That's about it at the moment though.

Those angels are beautiful

Joining this thread as if my life isn’t chaotic enough with 3 under 3 let’s add some poncing to it!

Always time for a bit of poncing @Deflatedsponge 😁

Thanks @TheSandgroper I'm not familiar with gumtree but I'll have a look.

WH Smith in store had Christmas Chronicles for £9 today, apparently 65% off. I clocked them on a stand near the till, with other reduced books.

Poncing has commenced chez Sheep.
Cake fruit is soaking, and mincemeat is made (in the slow cooker).

Very impressed with the quality and extent of poncing so far! I’m going to bake my Christmas cakes tomorrow, so I’ll get the fruit chopped where necessary and in to soak this evening.

I’ve bought a few very cheap felt decoration kits and will sit with one of those on my knee tonight as I watch tv. They come with horrible hard and hairy plasticky polyester filling, but I’ve got some nice cushion stuffing which I’ll use instead. I’ve got wreaths, a polar bear and a pudding!

This year's CC read along thread as promised x

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/4655619-the-christmas-chronicles-by-nigel-slater-read-along-thread-2022