The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Thanks for the thread @VivaJen! Marking my place.

Yay! This thread makes me happy 😊

I've just been browsing this Hattifant advent calendar for myself again. I think this may be the year I actually buy it for myself!

Too busy felting stocking presents for year after next.

Hello! Checking in!

I couldn't find a cute enough stocking for baby girl to match my little boy's so I've made matching pink and blue paw patrol ones :) That may be the extent of my making this year though as just started a new job :(

I'm in ! More time to myself this year as kids have finally left so I'm up for some ponceing

Have any of you who crochet ever used laundry starch to stiffen items? I'm currently procrastinating & researching methods for assembling my village again.

Hurrah! Placemarking! I have just passed through the WH Smith at Derby train station and noticed a full crop of Christmas magazines.

No, but if you try it can you let us know how it goes? I am planning a LOT of crochet snowflakes that will all need blocking.

I'm in too!
In fact, I started Poncing last Monday so am already in proud posession of a partridge and pear 😳 (patterns courtesy of Corinne Lapierre but with some slight colour tweaks of my own):

Hello! Checking in I have decided I am going to make a gingerbread house, but decorated very intricately with royal icing

Hi,

Can I as those of you who force paper whites how you do it/what you use please?

Thanks!

I'll be reading nigel slaters a Christmas chronicle from 1st November 🙂

And any ideas of poncey idiot proof crafts for dd (4) and I to do? Many thanks!! Might be able to rope in crafty niece if they are a bit tricky…

Joining the thread even though I clearly won't have time for all the poncing I want to do as I'm at uni full time up until 18th December.

I always make Christmas cake at half term and usually do mincemeat. Plus some kind of foraging for greenery to make wreaths and other decorations.

@MarisPiper92 I plan to order it today & start blocking the existing houses when it arrives so I shall keep you updated!

Can't wait to start poncing

I have made Chilli Jam with chillis bought from our local food and drink festival.
My first ever. On tasting it was very pleasant and then the afterburn kicked in. Wowsers!
I gave a jar of original to adult DS but then added a tsp of chilli jam to an equal amount of apricot jam to try to reduce heat and it worked! So I reheated the chilli jam with apricot jam and it’s perfect! Now back into sterilised jars and maturing.

Family stir of the Christmas cake and it’s in the oven. Might be a bit short on the almonds << looking with narrowed eyes at dgs>>

@Chevyimpala67
Paperwhites.
I grow mine on washed pebbles in tall glass vases or hurricane lamps.
I start mine on 11th November. Place the bulbs on pebbles and pour water to just under base of bulbs.
Put them somewhere cool and dim until the growth is about 3 inches.
Then carefully pour off water (or syringe out) and replace with 1/7 ratio alcohol.
40%. this will stunt the greenery but not affect the flowers.

Pictures of Paperwhites.

Yeyyy it's back ! Thanks @VivaJen looking forward to it this year

Brilliant!
Thank you so much.
I'll go shopping for a hurricane vase. I've found some bulbs on Sarah raven and stones on amazon 😃
<whispers> I've almost done for 2 x dc stockings and they have about 10 parcels each so far.
I'm using recycled and brown paper this year...ds1 has brown paper with a Christmas tree print on and ds2 has paper in a lovely nutcracker design in a beautiful teal greeny blue colour.
I might make some cappuccino mousses for Xmas lunch desert this year (we aren't xmas pud or mince pie fans...)
I've already bought the mini candy canes 😃
Just need napkins and crackers now.

I have to say @Chevyimpala67 that Sarah Raven bulbs are fab quality.

Hurrah!

@LetUsPonce I'm working my way through these too! So far I've made the pear, the partridge, a leaping lord and a turtle dove. Half way through a french hen...I started in Dec 2019 😆

@Deckthewallswithpaintandplaydough

This is some of the kiddie poncing I’ve done over the years

1. Plain Christmas baubles with white hand prints. Sharpie marker the snowman detail
2. Pipe cleaner stars dipped in glue and glitter
3. Cloth Shopping bags decorated - use cardboard inside to stiffen
4. Painted candles ((ikea do reasonable candles all shapes and tiger do candle paint
5. Melted snow man cookies
6. Stained glass cookies
7. Chocolate shapes (silicone mould) with sprinkles.
8. Candy cane hearts with choc in centre and crushed candy sprinkles mint choc if poss (be careful with this one as the candy canes are a burn risk)
9. Paperweight (painted stones)

10. Gingerbread people, dipped in chocolate. 11. Make warming pads from Christmas socks, rice and essential oils. 12. Plant bulbs 13. Fatball “decorations” for the garden 14 stamp brown paper

DDs aged 14 and 11 said to me last weekend “Do you remember when we were 6 and 4 and you did that advent calendar for us? You know, you made tags with numbers on, and the back of each said something like ‘tonight is new book night, take one from the pile and open it’ or at weekends ‘today we’re going to the Christmas market and ice skating’”

Me, both cringing at the memory due to how much time/effort it took and remembering it fondly, a time prior to DD3 being born, getting divorced and working full time “Of course I do”

”Will you do it again this year? Especially as X is now 6, she would love it”

Obviously I agreed.

It was a huge under taking the first (and only) time I managed it, now I’ve got an extra child, one less adult, and far less time. The last year has been traumatic for us, and the Pandemic prior to that wasn’t pleasant for anyone, so I’d already been toying with the idea of it anyway.

I have zero craft/art skills, but I do have money to throw at the actual advent calendar itself and activities/items, what I don’t have is time. DD6 is in wrap around care until 6pm each week night, we get home around 6:15pm. So I need however many quiet but Christmas things to do as she’s exhausted.

So far I’ve managed to get 3 Christmas LEGO Brickheads for us to build, and Christmas face masks/bath bombs for every Friday night.

Lurker and lightweight poncer here, but I do have an answer to this, which is no, it's not stiff enough. What you need is 50/50 PVA glue and water, you can add glitter too. I pin out my snowflake or whatever on one of those foam kneelers for gardening, dab the mix on with a paintbrush and leave to dry overnight.

I planted my hyacinths at the start of Sept (family tradition to do it as the DCs go back to school although its college and uni now). I will also be reading The Christmas Chronicles.