I will be spending Christmas running around like a headless chicken and eating sandwiches on the side of the road. Great.

[WillyWonkster]

I’m dreading Christmas. My DH and I have 3 sets of ‘households’ to visit and so are having to carefully time our day.
All 3 sets of people are being bloody difficult, they have their own plans (which overlap) and they aren’t budging. 2 of them are renowned for being 2-3 hours late to things too, so I just know if we do come up with a plan it will be left in tatters. And I’ll then be called ‘uptight’.

When we suggest they move things forward or back 30 mins to give us more time to dash across the county we’re met with pursed lips and accusations that we ‘don’t care enough’ and ‘we’re being selfish’. Not going isn’t an option, the fall out would be huge.

Currently we won’t make it in time for Christmas lunch ‘at 3pm prompt’ at household 2 but will they move lunch half an hour, hell will they. So they are happy for us to leave household 1, grab a sandwich from a petrol station and sit in a forecourt for an hour or so before turning up ‘at a reasonable time’ to household 2 (I.e after they’ve eaten Christmas dinner). I should add we can’t have Christmas dinner at household 1 because we’re not bloody invited! They are literally kicking us out!
Just fuck off all of you!!!!!!!!!!
Rant over, needed to get that off my chest.

This is your stupid fault for agreeing to do this.

Honestly, these threads are getting ridiculous.

Christmas isn't just one day, if you must go and visit these people, spread it out over the week and New Year.

Absolutely no need whatsoever for ridiculous arrangements like this.

Grow a pair and stop this people pleasing madness

The fallout has to be worth it. Does it really matter if you lose out on relationships with people who treat you like this?

@Toplowlight

The fallout has to be worth it. Does it really matter if you lose out on relationships with people who treat you like this?

Exactly!

@vixeyann

Why do people do this to themselves at Christmas? There is no way I would be entertaining this level of faff.

Had a chat with a neighbour today about Christmas plans. She rolled her eyes and said "Well for the last 20 years we have spent every Christmas day on the motorway travelling up and down between relatives. " She had never had a Christmas day at home even when her children were small and the year she had cancer. Ffs as women we really need to teach our daughters and allow ourselves to just say NO and bloody mean it.

One of the most ridiculous threads I've ever read right here...

I would accept the fallout and just not go. They are just being downright rude not to compromise, and if they aren't willing to accept that trying to get around three families is tough then they are not worth the effort.

Are you trying to get a mention in the Guinness Book of Records for the number of houses visited on Xmas day
Seriously I suggest you check what suits regarding your terminally ill relative, prioritise them if it is really an urgent situation there - then think of yourself and your own household.

As for the other visits spread them out Xmas eve/boxing day or any Twix-mas day that suits you and do what you fancy next year, as many others have suggested.
BTW, for anyone going on about swearing I thought all the f-word posters just came across as being outraged on your behalf and were on your side

As my sister says ‘you can’t complain that people are sucking the life out of you, if you keep handing them a straw’

This ^^ is brilliant. It could be applied to so many threads on mumsnet just now.

You're being a martyr. Pack it in.

She's not a kid bunking off school. She is a grown woman and this is a social event. She can just say no, she might find that putting her big girl pants on and standing up for herself improves her life going forward too.

This is so bizarre. How and why would anyone treat their family like they are treating you? I don't understand how it can be at the same time a case of having to go visit but also having to be arriving and leaving at specific times? Like if it was that important for you to be there they would be happy to see you no matter what time you turned up surely. If it's all that big a deal to see family they would be glad to see you at all?

Why do this to yourself, they don't sound very nice.

If you feel someone has "expectations" of you or tells you it's your "duty" to do something on Christmas day, the best way to address that is to simply not do it!

Assert yourself and your needs ffs. This sounds like an utterly miserable way to spend Christmas.

@WillyWonkster

I just said that to DH, we’re doing a lateral flow test on Christmas Eve and I’m praying it’s positive!

To echo PP, there is a lot, a huge lot, of Covid around. It’s super-catchy and everywhere, especially in your road

Fuck off the lot of them indeed. Stay home and have a year off. Do you actually want to go or just doing as you’re told?

You are crazy

One visit per day, tops, with some days off

Fake covid this year, and never do it again - you are being a Martyr

If your family are the 'nice' ones, then surely they'd be happy to see you on a different day?

And as for the family that won't provide you for lunch...'we can understand if you're too busy to see us over lunchtime, so we'll reschedule for a more convenient time'.

I struggle with Xmas and the sense of duty, but this is beyond batshit crazy.

You dont actually have to do any of them. The fall out wont be huge. Its completely normal to turn things down.
Id just go to the one thats invited you for lunch. See the others on xmas eve or boxing day. Tell them youve just decided its far too much running around but theyre all welcome to yours on boxing day for nibbles

OP can you feel something happening ... is it ... is it? Oh no, do you have some form of food poisoning? Oh damn, you're gonna have to stay home! Sorry op, but it's better you stay away from people if you're not well. Kapeesh?

Family that treat you so disrespectfully don't deserve consideration. Normal families would be horrified to think that their so-called loved ones were eating a sandwich and waiting around when they could be visiting and enjoying food with family. Late? So what? You welcome family whenever they're able to arrive!

If the terminally ill person is someone you actually want to see at Christmas, I'd prioritise them. As for the rest of it, choose what you want to do and do that. You can visit the other people another time. It's really not the end of the world if we don't see everyone at Christmas.

As my sister says ‘you can’t complain that people are sucking the life out of you, if you keep handing them a straw’

This ^^ is brilliant. It could be applied to so many threads on mumsnet just now.

Yes. And mind officially blown!!!

Fuck that, they don’t deserve your company on Christmas day if they think it’s better to have you eat a sandwich than delay dinner by 30mins. Who does that.

You say your family are reasonable but that they will kick off if you leave half an hour earlier despite if not you will be late for Christmas dinner at family 2 and they haven't invited you for Christmas dinner.

Are you really going to sit in services eating a sandwich for Christmas dinner??

Just visit the ill relative and do what you want apart from that. You are allowing this situation to happen!

This is INSANE! What on earth are you THINKING?

Plus, what they all said ^^

[quote DameCelia]@WillyWonkster what a shame that you'll both wake up with covid symptoms on 25th and have to isolate until the PCR centre opens[/quote]
This

The ones worth turning yourselves inside out for are the ones who would not want you doing so! Those who care enough that you have a nice day. It's catch 22 ... That said none of them qualify!