Forced to have the dog or go on holiday and fall out with everyone

[Ilovechoc12]

Hi,

We are large family (6 people - 4 kids under 10) and my dad owns a naughty yap dog that’s not well trained - treated better than the queen and it behaves like a cat hates going out in rain and doesn’t like going outside in bad weather/ rain. It’s a very ott precious well looked after dog. Very old and can be grumpy

They don’t trust this dog with anyone and kennels are the worst thing ever (according to them). So those two things are out the window. They are travelling 250 miles to be around their 3 children all live close to London. Only I’m the suitable candidate to have the dog as my sister has a dog (so precious can’t go there) brother is in the non friendly hotel.

The dog will want to go upstairs, sit on sofas and winge a lot. It’s not well trained as my dad just sits with it constantly. I’ve just had new carpets and is known to piss on carpets at times (but that’s because he’s old or marking his area but he won’t do it again 🤪🤪🤪 )

My boy has the stupid 11 plus at Xmas otherwise we would jump on a plane.

I do want a Christmas with my family and no dog

My mum has booked into a non dog friendly hotel and decided to dump the dog on me. Actually without her asking me only until I asked what is the dog doing she said o can u have it 😡😡😡.

However my 4 kids like the dog and like seeing everyone at Xmas (20 people) with all the cousins and aunty etc …. Over the Xmas season - so I have that to consider

So do you for 4 days over Xmas -

1. Accept the dog and have to get up at 6:30 to walk the dog and I absolutely hate picking up poo. It could piss anywhere down stairs. It’s barks like crazy if there are any birds / cats / fireworks in the night too.

1. Make someone stay in a dog friendly hotel. Which my mother is adamant she is staying in a particular hotel she’s booked which doesn’t allow dogs. So my dad would be by himself with the dog so this will cause friction

1. Piss off out of the country on holiday and have a massive bust up. Only issue my boy has 11 plus after Xmas 🤪 so not sure how much work he should be doing 😬😬😬

It’s stressing me out - we don’t have a dog as we don’t want one and get dumped with this one 😡 but now I’m guilted into we looked after your kids a lot when they were younger so can you help us 😡😡😡😡

What would you do?

Thank you xxxxx

Tell them you'll have the dog, but won't be letting it on sofas, in bedrooms, that they'll have to commit to having a cage for it for the night so it can't piss in your house while you sleep and that you won't be getting up during darkness to walk it either. It's your life and your house and they either accept the dog falls in with you or they find it somewhere else to be.

They'll find it somewhere else to be.

Send them a link to somewhere like this: www.nomorekennels.co.uk/

So you are expected to have a smelly, bad tempered, overindulged, spoiled dog who requires you getting up early to walk, you'll need to pick up its shit and there's a high likelihood it'll piss on your brand new carpets? While its owners stay in a plush hotel being waited on hand and foot (much like their dog) just down the road? In what world is this acceptable?
No way would I say yes to that. I'm afraid my mum would have needed to find dog friendly accommodation instead of foisting it off on an unwilling, unpaid dog nanny for the entirety of their holiday.

I am a dog owner who is very, very choosy about who looks after my dog. I am also a huge fan of boundaries.

I would never expect family to take my dog if they did not actually really want to. There are some glorious boarding facilities here in the UK (and in the USA too) that have snuggle time, activities, and all sorts of things to keep the dogs happy and safe. They are very expensive, but I accept that as a dog owner. I've often spent more on dog boarding while on holiday than I spent on the holiday itself!

My point is, it's their responsibility to arrange care for their dog when they do not want to look after him themselves.

All these suggestions about crates etc are just silly. The dog will howl the whole time it's in there and just create a different household stresser.

It would be a big fat no from me, my best friend stays overnight over Christmas and I've made it quite clear from the offset that the dog ain't welcome. She makes other arrangements.

Just say no for goodness sakes-you're an adult,mom of four children surely you've had plenty of practice doing so?! The carpeting is brand new and you don't want them ruined. I've booked my two dogs for kennel in a couple weeks for our national thanksgiving holiday. I'd dress it up and say the dog can play and socialize with other dogs

@Ilovechoc12 why not just send a message to your mum/dad and say that you’re not going to have the dog, it’s a hard no, and they will have to make arrangements for it that don’t involve you in any way.

Then book tickets :)

We have a dog and I'm a real dog lover but he is nobody's responsibility but ours! If you dont want the dog to stay just say no. The dog should not be dumped on you

Can you quietly book the dog into a kennel which they don't know about and then take the credit for its care? grin

This ^

All these people who wouldn’t do their parents a favour for a couple of days.

@Coronawireless

All these people who wouldn’t do their parents a favour for a couple of days.

All these people who don't want a smelly incontinent dog in their houses are not being unreasonable in any way shape or form. Why don't you offer to have the dog then?

I've been forced into a similar situation before when dealing with 2 kids, one of them of a newborn, and my partner working away (I am not a pet person myself) and for me it was really stressful. The dogs would bark all the time if on their own, the sofa and new carpets ended up stinking of dog. I really really hated having my time being dictated to by other people and having dogs that I really didn't want around. Do yourself a favour and say no, and/or make plans of your own.

If your mum doesn't want to stay in the country house, why don't you and your lot stay in there with the dog at their expense.

Dog gets someone looking after it, your carpets remain piss free, your son can study, big family Christmas as planned and your mum can stay in the hotel of her choosing! Plus nice little holiday!

@RampantIvy
Don’t be ridiculous. They’re not my parents. If they were, I would do it.

There’s no way that dog would be stepping foot in my house - your parents are unbelievably selfish.
Who books a hotel that isn’t dog friendly when you have a dog that you won’t put in kennels and then assume that someone else will look after it? If you accept this, you might as well have doormat stamped on your face!

You shouldn't have to compromise your son's education for a badly behaved dog. Just no. It goes to the hotel or you won't be seeing them. Ask your parents if it's you or the dog who are more important to them.

[quote Coronawireless]@RampantIvy
Don’t be ridiculous. They’re not my parents. If they were, I would do it.[/quote]
Clearly I am not the only "ridiculous" poster on this thread.

Just say no?
Not sure why you need to go on holiday to say no

How did the conversation with your mum or parents go about suggesting the dog friendly hotel?

Personally I’d rather have the dog stay than the family😁. We could cuddle up on the sofa watching movies and reading books😁

It’s not so much the dog, although I sympathise, it’s the lack of communication, consideration, and the sense of entitlement and taking you for granted that would infuriate me. I’m livid on your behalf, how thoughtless and uncaring this is. I would say no for this reason alone

I would take the dog and keep it in the kitchen and garden the whole time.

Not really the point but why can't an 11 year old take a dog for a ten minute walk?

I’m a dog lover & I wouldn’t look after it in the way it’s been “arranged” by your parents. It’s not your dog so not your responsibility. Your parents have options —- kennels, dog minder ( cares for dogs in his/ her home) have a house and pet sitter stay in their home, stay in dog friendly accommodation.
You cannot have a dog weeing in your house, especially on carpets. If the dog must stay tell your parents they’re to bring a crate in which the dog will sleep at night. ( cover it with a blanket or large towel, leave a radio playing quietly near it and the dog should sleep all night)

I’m a dog person, you can tell your parents I’ll care for the dog over Christmas (nice country walks, doggie company & all food included) £50 a day. Bargain.

With 4 kids in the mix why are you even considering this?

No, sorry can't do is a perfect answer. Or you will be burnt out.

You and your kids are nr. 1.