Forced to have the dog or go on holiday and fall out with everyone

[Ilovechoc12]

Hi,

We are large family (6 people - 4 kids under 10) and my dad owns a naughty yap dog that’s not well trained - treated better than the queen and it behaves like a cat hates going out in rain and doesn’t like going outside in bad weather/ rain. It’s a very ott precious well looked after dog. Very old and can be grumpy

They don’t trust this dog with anyone and kennels are the worst thing ever (according to them). So those two things are out the window. They are travelling 250 miles to be around their 3 children all live close to London. Only I’m the suitable candidate to have the dog as my sister has a dog (so precious can’t go there) brother is in the non friendly hotel.

The dog will want to go upstairs, sit on sofas and winge a lot. It’s not well trained as my dad just sits with it constantly. I’ve just had new carpets and is known to piss on carpets at times (but that’s because he’s old or marking his area but he won’t do it again 🤪🤪🤪 )

My boy has the stupid 11 plus at Xmas otherwise we would jump on a plane.

I do want a Christmas with my family and no dog

My mum has booked into a non dog friendly hotel and decided to dump the dog on me. Actually without her asking me only until I asked what is the dog doing she said o can u have it 😡😡😡.

However my 4 kids like the dog and like seeing everyone at Xmas (20 people) with all the cousins and aunty etc …. Over the Xmas season - so I have that to consider

So do you for 4 days over Xmas -

1. Accept the dog and have to get up at 6:30 to walk the dog and I absolutely hate picking up poo. It could piss anywhere down stairs. It’s barks like crazy if there are any birds / cats / fireworks in the night too.

1. Make someone stay in a dog friendly hotel. Which my mother is adamant she is staying in a particular hotel she’s booked which doesn’t allow dogs. So my dad would be by himself with the dog so this will cause friction

1. Piss off out of the country on holiday and have a massive bust up. Only issue my boy has 11 plus after Xmas 🤪 so not sure how much work he should be doing 😬😬😬

It’s stressing me out - we don’t have a dog as we don’t want one and get dumped with this one 😡 but now I’m guilted into we looked after your kids a lot when they were younger so can you help us 😡😡😡😡

What would you do?

Thank you xxxxx

The one time MIL brought her dog I agreed on the condition it wouldn't be in the house. She brought the dogs crate and it was set up in the garage so the dog slept there. When I came down Christmas morning the dog was in the kitchen running round like a lunatic. Dh saw my face and the dog was quickly removed. @Ilovechoc12 it's your house, your time that will be taken up minding it, your carpets that will be pissed on, etc so put your foot down and say no. You've offered a compromise with the guest house idea, so if they don't like that then tough. You can have a fabulous day with your Dh and kids and a lot less stress.

Tell them to look after their own dog, forget the 11+ & have a lovely holiday with the children.

No. Child should be forced to work in the holidays Failing the 11 plus is not the end of the world

@marktayloruk

No. Child should be forced to work in the holidays Failing the 11 plus is not the end of the world

Quite agree. I work in a primary school & see many poor children stressed out because of the 11+. They're scared to tell their parents they don't want to do it.

What do you mean .. “he won’t do it again” .. if he pees on the carpet?

Why don’t you just tell your parents the truth. “Hi parents, I’m afraid I’m not going to have your dog over Xmas, it’s welcome when you visit but not to stay. Please rebook a pet friendly hotel”

It sounds like you've got a lot on your hands, and nobody is offering any help. So why should they add to your work but telling you to look after the dog. Forget that. No dog. And stick to it. If that means they won't come, that's a shame but their choice. Put your foot down. Good luck.

I would move house and change my name before a dog crossed my threshold.

I love dogs and we have 3 large dogs ourselves. However, we refuse to have a relative's yappy, untrained -rat- dog in our home. It scratches and damages our furniture, pees, and shits indoors and never settles down, and constantly makes high-pitched noises. It tries to bite our dogs and I refuse to lock them out due avoid them getting fed up with the little shit. The relative said they would not come without the dog. We told them we completely understood and respected that they would stay away. They are now sulking, expecting us to grovel. To us, it is win win situation.

Like what?

Just tell them you won't have the dog- seems quite simple to me.

Tell them lots of dogs are being stolen in your area and you hope the dog doesn’t get pinched when the kids take it to their friends house to play football and tie it to the gate while they play!🤣

I would simply and calmly say that I cannot take the dog and they will have to find someone else to take it. No emotion. Just fact. No negotiation.

That’s crazy…dog people can be crazy though. I put a post on a fb group asking for a dog sitter over Christmas (because we staying with family who aren’t dog lovers and so it’s our responsibility to find someone to look after him obvs) and I got loads of abusive replies about leaving the dog with strangers at Christmas…he’s a f*ing spaniel…he doesn’t know it’s Christmas 🙄

Hiya thank you for everyone’s comments!

So I had a heated discussion with my mum. Said I found a country house hotel with lovely food and swimming pool which accept dogs. She said ring and ask whether they are allowed in the eating areas. I rang and they aren’t allowed in any eating areas. So after the last time at Gordon R 15 in water gate bay where they were called back as the dog was barking it was a firm no from my mother. As the dog needs someone at all times otherwise it barks - separation anxiety or too much ott looking after 🤪🤪🤪🤪

If I actually posted a pic of the dog it is beautiful but you have to have the time and energy to dedicate your entire life to him. Not with 4 children. He’s with someone 24/7 he’s one of the best looked after dogs in the uk. This dog will not be caged as it would bark and cry.

Then it went onto I’m the most selfish person ever only doing what I want and pleasing myself …. And not taking into account of the “family which consists of 22 or more people ” and ruining my kids as they don’t know their “family”. Be it wouldn’t hurt for the dog blah blah blah

My mother had decided she is staying in the posh hotel and my dad is in the travel lodge with the dog (which is his) over night. I expect he will be here at 8 am and go at 11 / midnight as least I can watch they dog. So he’s not on sofas etc. it’s a bit sad for him but hey ho

My mother accepted the fact it would probably piss / “mark the territory “ however She can buy new carpets 🤪🤪🤪🤪 which is far too much effort

So now I’ve felt I’m half reasonable accepting the yap dog day time - but shit that my mother puts so much guilt on me. Like I helped looked after your kids. But fuck it onwards on upwards.

My husband is yet to get home from work. At least I’ve said the dog is not sleeping over night. And jumping on sofas / in my kids beds and demanding walking for 4 mins every 20/40 mins at the crack of dawn.

My eldest is 10 and no sod walks around here it’s very isolated hardly any paths / lots of woods - I’ve never seen a child walking by themselves….. they all get drove to school. Bit crazy but that’s what the situation is here. It’s not a built up area.

Thank you for everyone’s comments.

Still got to cook for 21 people which isn’t a issue and hopefully the kids will like it.

Otherwise I’ll send you a picture on the beach on Xmas day with my children 🤩🤩🤩🤩 still haven’t decided if we are flying 🤪🤪🤪🤪 maybe we will 🤩

The countdown is on 😬😬😬😬😳😳🤞🤞.

Hope you all have a fab w/e and if I was ever to have a dog a million percent kennels or nothing - never to put the pressure on anyone else x

Thank you all xxx

Cheeky fucxxrs !
Would pxxx me off really !
But if you would stay at home anyway with no plans (11 plus during Xmas holidays is not a convincing excuse, give your son a break!)
Just make an effort and do it your way - dog stay in the kitchen, not inside the house, take for walks when you can(is it possible?), etc… you don’t have to give up to their demands if you haven’t even been asked to have the dog….

Some ppl, honestly ! I would be very angry !

This sounds tough, but do you have a shed or garage, you can park the dog in
Then it can pee and shit all it likes. Then you only have to clean the shed or garage out, I would walk it too, but you could leave it out overnight, or worried about cold, lock it in the kitchen, if you have wooden flooring (easy to clean) it should be fine out over night, our dogs on the farm did, we bedded them down with dog beds and straw, but if you have electricity (in garage or shed) yoy can buy a heat lamp.
But it's very cheeky that they didn't check with you first.
Kennels are dear and they need to up to date on vaccines.

Unfortunately I think your DF staying at the Travel Lodge is the least bad option and to be fair he's the one who got the dog, didn't train it to be comfortable on its own for periods or get it used to staying with anyone else.

Either put down plastic all over the floors or find a way to contain the dog in a room with no new carpet/wooden flooring by borrowing stair gates.

Good luck with it all, for what it's worth your DCs will treasure a big family Christmas annoying doggo and all.

for goodness sake woman! you have an 11 year old child, so you must be at least in your 20s - grow up and tell them you dont want their stinky non house trained dog at all

Just have the dog. But give your oh or the kids the task of picking up the poo

It sounds fairly normal tbh. I'm sure your kids are more noisy or irritating than an occasional yap.

Or just say you've had new carpets. You're not having the dog

We were left with my mother's corgi when she went overseas for several months. Our DS was 11 months old and just walking. The dog was really dangerous and bit everyone - to this day, 45 years later, I can't make a bed with my feet anywhere near the bedcover. In those days, playpens were the things and mother was like "oh, DS will be fine in the pen-the dog only bites because DS frightens her. " Errmmm, no. DS has to stay imprisoned because the dog is badly behaved? The dog made a point of going up to the pen and deliberately biting DS's hand through the bars. Solution. Dog goes into playpen in garage, and allowed out only during nap/sleep time. Had mother known, she would have been outraged about her doggie being isolated. That dog bit my son 19 times, and it's amazing that he wasn't terrified of dogs. Our lovely Border and Sheltie meant that he never lost faith in animals.

Can't believe people are saying sneak dog into a kennel. If dog gets sick, bitten, hurt or even runs away you're talking about a possible rift

Good for you OP - they are being ridiculous

You need to stand firm or this will be a regular thing …say …..I love spending time with you however for that to happen you need to book an air bb ( dog friendly ) as it is not possible for the dog to come here . This is not negotiable.

Be strong and firm .