Poncetastic Christmas 2018

[VivaJen]

I know we have the "Any Ponces Around?" thread but in honour of Fellatio Nelson here is the 2018 Poncetastic Thread.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Can I join here? I finally finished my Christmas tree skirt for my vintage tree. I wanted to make a kind of vintage style skirt so I did a felt one.

It had already been around my tree but I finally got the rest of the trim to go around the outer lol

Thanks ppeatfruit, we have some mincemeat in the fridge as it happens so it might still happen. I saw several stollen type recipes on bbcgoodfood, some cheaty ones. Might do cake before Christmas and we can do stollen during the holidays as an activity.

I like that Wheelchair btw it's not my thread but you're welcome any time

Looie there's a last minute Xmas cake recipe in Delia Smith's Christmas book, it's a lovely book!

This is my absolute favourite thread! May I ask for some ideas?
I will try to prove my credibility by saying I have made crab apple jelly , blackberry gin and sloe gin. Will be making a bundt cake, always have 2 real trees with decorations collected over the years.
This year I will be cooking for 12 and I would like an inexpensive but impressive starter. I usually just make smoked salmon blinis and have those with champagne before we sit down. This year at least 2 guests will not eat salmon ... any ideas?
Thank you!

Do they eat ANY fish? if so you could make a trout pate\dip (easier than a mousse!). If not, a mushroom pate\dip. With crisp type toast or crackers.

Dh loves blinis as a starter for xmas dinner, he has to do them because they're quite a faff!

Good Idea about the pate, I love blinis too, damn you non fish eaters!

I like blinis too but not with the salmon, I'm a lightweight, I can't eat 3 heavy courses, I prefer the first one without carbs.

Given that Christmas dinner is a big meal some fruit might be nice. We have done melon and grapes before. Not too posh, but it's what my dad used to make and it's a nice way to have an extra course that isn't too filling and you can easily make earlier on.

Just spent 2 hours building our Christmas village.

Anyone know where to get hold of the stencils used for the snowscene window in Kirste’s Handmade Christmas last night? My village does a living advent calendar and would love to try this...

Oh darn I missed it.

If you're creative like thenewave (that's gorgeous btw).

You could make stencils Zen

That's a good idea starry.

Got my Ponce on!! Tree is up, and I'm mid decorating the rest of the house. Yay!!

Feeling very poncetastic having constructed this! DH is completely nonplussed by it though...

Mmmmmn ....interesting Harvest No I like it!! My DH would be nonplussed too

Fair bit if poncing going on here. Wrapping paper being potato stamped, marmalade about to happen. Completed one hoodie this week and a cushion as gifts. Bit more to do. Decorations being sorted out for next weekend. New garland to embellish. So much potential poncing but so little time.

Aaah lovely hoodie Rainin You're a good knitter .

I've just finished my first batch of GF mincepies, They TASTE nice but don't look that great.

Ah the taste is what matter! I am a very slow, weird kniiter but I do try to get it right. Now have to finish the smaller hoodie before Christmas.

Do you reckon I'm ok to decant my sloe gin yet?

It's been in there since September.....

The only way to know is to taste it 😉

I just decanted my bramble gin to - - reluctantly- - give to my daughters BF parents. I had a sneaky taste and it’s absolutely delicious if I do say so myself.

Hi.long time lurker
Can anyone tell me us it too late to make a Xmas cake for a friend?

If it ups any potential poncing credentials I'm midway thru knitting my D's a scarf in Hufflepuff colours and am hunting for Xmas bauble knitting patterns...

Love the branch! I’ve been toying with suspending one but can’t work up the nerve! Decs are all up now, I’ve done a traditional and reindeer theme in my hall and a white/blue/copper with stars theme in my lounge. I will need to redo the bottom few feet of the tree as I had ‘helpers’ but I’m too tired tonight, will do it tomorrow.

Decanted the sloe gin. Blow me over with a feather it's absolutely delicious.

Now making sloe gin jelly with the leftover fruit.

The booze smell over the pan could anaesthatise a rhino.

Sloe gin jelly! Not come across that before. Is this jelly like jam rather than jelly and ice cream jelly? Sounds wonderful.

It's jam but it's sieved so there's no 'bits' and it's clear.