Poncetastic Christmas 2018

[VivaJen]

I know we have the "Any Ponces Around?" thread but in honour of Fellatio Nelson here is the 2018 Poncetastic Thread.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

That's the only way I can think of too. We'll try it that way over the weekend & I'm going to get some chocolate to try too to keep us busy. Thanks for looking

Enjoy! It's lovely doing things like that with children, very special

I haven't even made my Christmas cake yet, am so behind this year!

I'm making a stollen because no one eats Xmas cake, I like it it but it doesn't like me !! ( sorry that's what my gran used to say ).

Also it's easy to freeze. Oh and I LOVE marzipan

We don't usually have a Christmas cake; dd2's birthday is the 28th so the Christmas cake always used to have a few slices eaten then be ignored.

Yes lucys I make a beautiful chocolate roulade cake, a sophisticated version of a chocolate log without all the sticky buttercream A Delia Smith recipe.

I'd like to join in please. I have made chutneys this year and ready to make Christmas cake and pudding in the next day or so. I've used the same recipes for 20 or so years. I've not made mincemeat for the last 3 years as haven't mastered gluten and dairy free pastry. I've only a few things left to buy as I had a last minute idea to make a hot drinks hamper for my eldest sons family. It looks good in my head but will have to wait and see. I'm hoping to make a lot more this year like I used too before I had my youngest , he has Asd and it makes even simple things a challenge. He goes to nursery now so I get a few hours to myself 😊 I love seeing what everyone is making.

So far today I've made Nigella's Christmas muffins, onion soup and chicken and chorizo parcels all for freezing! The kitchen has smelt amazing all day!

I've done my pudding.

I've never made stollen. Is it easy? I bloody love it

I may have just bought an mdf sleigh in hobbycraft. I only went in for raffia ribbon and a glass bauble, so not entirely sure how it happened.
Dh is out on a stag do tonight so I think that’ll be mine and ds’s project tonight, along with watching a Christmas movie.

I did say nothing til December, but you wouldn’t know it, if you could see the box of ‘bits’ I’ve accumulated since September

My box of 'stuff i shouldn't have bought' has taken over the study.

Whoops.

MissMarplesKnitting I've made stollen a few times and used the Good Food mag recipe from yonks ago - I just had a look but I can't see it online. It's not hard to do - it just takes ages, like bread, because of all the proving/rising etc. But it's easy enough.

Can I also recommend stollen muffins - also from good food! They're v nice.

I've cracked. I'm getting the decorations out and starting tonight. It's stir up Sunday tomorrow and I want to do the pud surrounded by lights and Christmas things.

Made some ribbon trees yesterday to add to the decorations.

I like the ribbon trees whycantyou, I have a variety of odds and sods of ribbons we could have a go at those with.

ppeatfruit chocolate roulade would probably go down well. Is it something the girls could help with? We try to squeeeeeeeze as much in together as possible.

Have any of you made a wreath with your dc's help? Dd2 was rather taken by the polystyrene wreaths they had in Poundland & bits to go on them in there and Wilko. Did it turn out well? Any tips before I say yes?

ilovetocook I make dairy free and wheat free pastry. I use almond butter sometimes on it's own and sometimes with olive or almond oil instead of normal butter or spread.

In my mince pies I use ground almonds instead of flour.

I currently can’t let DH look in the spare bedroom wardrobe- where my stash of “things I shouldn’t have bought” has done a gremlin-like explosion in the dark.
Worse- I got a garland which I think is nice - he hasn’t yet seen it but looked in a shop window yesterday and said he liked the look of a more bare twig wreath they had hanging, and seems to think I can come up with something similar!!

Biddy in hobbycraft they have bare stick wreaths, I assume for adding your own bits to, but dd and I thought they looked very good and rustic on their own.
https://www.hobbycraft.co.uk/rattan-grapevine-wreath-305cm/571262-1000?glCountry=GB&gclid=Cj0KCQiArenfBRCoARIsAFc1FqdSseOjCUYtoURQytwoldrwu7qTiOXUMkA1xqPjD4lf3vs1pWGx6oaAgZXEALww_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

I use my old wreath bases ( I just take off the withered stuff, that I should've done before packing them ).

This weekend’s project!

I'm off for a first Christmas this year, this one with my middle child and his family and I've made fudge .I followed a basic good food recipe and it's come out really well and, sort of halfway between soft industrial fudge and the more solid home-made. I'll need to make some more for us now

I love the sleigh, newaverage!

I'm still ploughing through the cross stitch. I'm hoping to finish the cross stitch part by the weekend, then I just need to do all of the fiddly bits on this and the first one I did before framing them.

Sunday is another baking day here. I have a list at home for what I'm doing! I had a manic Christmas Eve last year so am trying to avoid that madness by spreading it out this year!

I'm going to my wreath-making course a week on Sat with my MiL. Can't wait!

Cute bear in sledge newaverage

I'm making my own marzipan this year for the stollen , the bought stuff is sooo sweet and I've ground the fresh almonds ready! Though I might use them for the mince pie pastry. We'll see.

I had an epic day of cooking last Saturday. Mince pies, red cabbage, cranberry chutney (though after making it I must remember to mark the page in the delia book to say I don't like that recipe because I had forgotten and it is not nice.) and cauliflower cheese which went all runny whilst cooling. Doh.

Still it's a start. Cookie dough and nigellas muffins next. And possibly a batch of brownie suitable for me to eat as I have gestational diabetes at the moment and can't eat anything o have made!

Living room deep cleaned and ready to put up tree etc at the weekend. It is starting to gets exciting! I'm living seeing all your creations- that sleigh is brilliant!

Think I've missed the window for making Christmas cake but I'm going to look for stolen/stolen muffin recipes on bbcgoodfood website. This has reminded me to text DH to get the fabric advent calendar down (from top shelf behind 3 mountain bikes in a confined space) so it can be loaded in time for Saturday morning.

DS will be desperate for the tree to go up ASAP but I reckon that needs to wait until after his forthcoming birthday party. I can't help thinking we need all the space we can get if we're hosting 8 x 9/10 year olds in a 2 bed flat.

stollen, obvs. Autocorrect!

KingLooie There is no window for Xmas cake making , if you use a jar of (preferably homemade or very good quality shop bought) mincemeat, soak overnight in a little alcohol (if you want to of course) then proceed as if making a normal cake with some molasses \treacle for the colour. ! Sorted.

Stollen is quite fiddly, I'm having 2nd thoughts! I might make an Xmas Simnel cake instead!