Poncetastic Christmas 2018

[VivaJen]

I know we have the "Any Ponces Around?" thread but in honour of Fellatio Nelson here is the 2018 Poncetastic Thread.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

I've just checked the good old Radio Times and it's on every day, same time, except Friday this week Biddy.

theonewave I didn't use oasis just the braches keep themselves in check if your vase is the right shape IFYSWIM. I give the bottom of the branches a bash and or a cut before putting them in the water.

Ooh thanks ppeat. I’ve just bought command strips hooks (they hold about 2kg weight in total) so I might try that or if not try the vase idea.

The Range has some gorgeous decorations in, you need a bit of a rummage around, but I’ve just bought a few bits and crafty bits. Must stop!

And biddy, those ideas are great thanks. I do have some toilet roll
Tubes, so I will investigate the possibilities!

Ppeatfruit, I haven't come across the jars of ready sweetened chestnuts but will keep my eye open.The good news is DH has just returned from Tesco with their last four vacuum packs, on offer too.

Thanks ppeat I must set up my Sky box to record them the rest of the week.

Tricky I've bought the whole cooked ones in Fr. they're in plastic with the air removed, not sweetened. Of course you can sweeten them. The ones in the tins that are pureed come in both unsweetened and sweetened.!

You're welcome Biddy .[santa] That's the first time I've used that emoji this season!

How come yours has a yellow smiley face?

I do the [ fgrin ] (without the spaces) direct here, rather than an emoji off my phone/ipad. Maybe that's why?

Oh !!

Yes, Ppeat, the ones DH gets from Tesco are those you describe, in plastic, no air, and I also get the tins when I spot them. But it is trying to turn the whole plasticed ones into marrons glacés that defeats me.

A grovelling apology Biddy It's on at 1.05p.m. Channel 4. Also at 2pm on 204 Channel 4 + 1.

Tricky They have to be done from fresh to do the 'glace' process. Doing them from fresh is quite a long annoying business, much cheaper though. Weirdly dh bought some from our supermarket too, vacuum packed not fresh. They're great!

Making very basic wool wreaths with the dc today hardly Pinterest worthy, but my daughter and I are very proud making this , whilst singing along to carols

Brought my big branch in from the garden today to give it time to dry out. Probably rather too excited about the prospect of hanging it and decorating it!

Also- Lemax village anyone? I personally am not a huge fan but Dh has one and he adds to it every year. It’s a bit of a running joke in our house, but the damn thing now has 6 houses/shops and we’re going to struggle to locate it this year.

Ppeat, you are so right about dealing with fresh chestnuts being annoying. I fear my poncing ambitions do not extend to all that peeling off the shells and trying to get rid of the brown membrane. So it will be the nicely naked vacuum packed ones for us as usual.

Is it possible to ponce in a crummy house? I can imagine Christmas poncing requires a well put together pad already. Any hope for those of us not currently near MN hygiene standards, let alone decor aspirations??

Of course GreyClouds . My idea about picking lovely big green branches (or Xmas tree branches) and decorating them with old decorations, even little lights, put them in a couple of biggish vases, is good. it covers up lots of scruffiness!!.

Anyway, I believe a home should be comfortable and look lived in, not like a perfect hygenic hospital ward.

It's not healthy to be too clean

Thanks ppeat we usually travel to see family for Christmas and it doesn't seem worthwhile to go full on with decs. But this year just heading up the road, so I'm going to plan a bit of poncing. Yay! My Mum is an excellent Christmas poncer so I always feel I'm letting the side down.

Depending on their age, or if you have some, get the kids to help , and or do some! Mine are adults now, I miss them when it's time to decorate, they do it when they come here though.

Hello all! I hope you don't mind me jumping in mid-ponce...I'm hoping one of you might be able to help me out...

We've just been and bought Lidl's stacked Christmas tree mould but there are no instructions with it so I'm not entirely sure whether we should be using cake mix or biscuit dough (think cake so it has the holes & doesn't need to be poked into the stars??)

Have any of you used one before & could give me a few pointers? Dd2 is quite taken with the idea so I thought we could make one for pudding on Sunday

lucysmam are they silicone moulds? I have made a tree with cookie cutters of different sizes, so it was just biscuits stacked on top of each other, but that sounds a bit different to what you've got?

Could you post a picture of the moulds/box?

PrivateParkin it's the one in the pic. It's got 11 star moulds, each will have a hole in the middle using it.

I think cake would be my best bet, because how would biscuit dough be evenly rolled & put into it? But I don't know if cake will burn since the smallest is dinky. Or if it'll fall apart on the way out .

Unless I just test them regularly & see what happens.

& I forgot the picture

Yes that definitely looks like it should be a cake doesn't it? Could you put them all in the oven at once, then just take smaller ones out first (I know you're not supposed to open the oven with sponge cakes but I don't know how else you'd do it!) sorry I'm not being more help.

It looks fab though.