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Christmas

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Original poster

presents received massively under budget wwud?

184 replies

Nicpem1982 · 19/12/2016 16:06

When my sil and I had children it was decided that we would just buy for the dcs.

We agree a budget each year £30 this year and me and my dh spend that and dn ends up with a lovely present.

Bil has told us that they've bought my dd (age 2) a book from the works for £4.00 and that's all they're getting as they feel my dc has enough presents from other people.

I am massively tempted to split my DNs present into 2 and cover her bday as well do I do this or just be nice and hand over the bag of presents on Christmas morning to dn?

OP posts:
PberryT · 19/12/2016 16:08

Split them.

If you have a limit then it's fair to stick to it (within reason, eg £25 gift would be fine).

IfartInYourGeneralDirection · 19/12/2016 16:08

You don't give to receive in my house.
It would be petty to punish your niece because you don't think your sibling spent enough on your child

EggnoggAndMulledWine · 19/12/2016 16:10

I'd be buying them back a similar priced present. You agreed a price to spend to make it fair. They can't suddenly just decide they feel your dd gets enough and she deserves a four quid book whilst you spend thirty on theirs!

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 19/12/2016 16:11

Ifart- I'm annoyed that they seem to be using it to make some sort of point about my dd having gifts.

OP posts:
BakeOffBiscuits · 19/12/2016 16:11

I wouldn't split them, unless you're short of money.

It's not the child's fault her parents have gone back on what they said. You said you bought her a lovely present, enjoy giving it to her.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 19/12/2016 16:13

We're not short and neither are they.

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 19/12/2016 16:13

I'd split them to keep things more even...

After all, I'm sure their child gets plenty of presents...

Upanddownroundandround · 19/12/2016 16:14

Generally I would say don't punish the child for parent's shortcomings but if it was easy and straightforward then yes, absolutely split the gift. I can't see that upseting your DN unless she needed the parts of the gift at the same time.

It's very odd - do your BIL/SIL have any reason to say your DD has enough presents from other people? Is your side of the family much bigger than the other side of their family iyswim. However I don't really think that is particularly relevent or their business tbh.

IfartInYourGeneralDirection · 19/12/2016 16:15

But you will be doing the same to your niece

BakeOffBiscuits · 19/12/2016 16:15

I'm annoyed that they seem to be using it to make some sort of point about my dd having gifts"
I suppose it is bloody rude of them to say this to you, as if it has a thing to do with them!

But this year I wousl just give your DN you've bought. What you do next year may be different.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 19/12/2016 16:15

To put it into perspective we've bought some pjs, a doll from the Disney store, a book and a game for dn it's not like if we split them she'll be going short

OP posts:
WankersHacksandThieves · 19/12/2016 16:16

Was he joking? I'm sorry I think i'd have said something at the time such as "you better dig deeper in your pocket than that you miserly git" or just laughed and said "yeah, that's a good one, you almost had me believing you there".

GruffaloPants · 19/12/2016 16:18

Split them. Half of that is still a generous present.

dementedpixie · 19/12/2016 16:19

Yes I'd split it as you will have still spent a lot more than £4 on each item you have bought.

ChristmasCwtches · 19/12/2016 16:19

Why on earth didn't your sister say anything when you both agreed on a budget? I would split the gifts without hesitation.

YouJustWouldntLetItLieWouldYa · 19/12/2016 16:20

Oh no, no, no, no, no.

Always be the bigger person, hand over your nieces gifts as usual and leave him looking and feeling like an idiot. Honestly, it will bring far more satisfaction.

Soubriquet · 19/12/2016 16:20

Split em

My sister bought nothing for my DC last year.

I'm not holding my breath this year either

But I'm not going to punish her children for her actions.

As a compromise to myself,
I've spent half the budget. So £10 per present instead of £20

Sweets101 · 19/12/2016 16:20

I'd split them, she'll still be getting lovely presents it's not like your suggesting giving her a potato to make a point.

Artandco · 19/12/2016 16:21

WHen someone says £30 though o would assume £30 maximum not a target ie don't spend £100 on gift as too much but £5 gift fine

Dh and I usually do this. We say generally spend no more than £250 on Xmas for each other somone doesn't buy a diamond £££ and one a bar of chocolate only. But it's not a target. If one of us found something like a bag they would like for £100 that would be it, wouldn't keep buying to make it £250.

A book is fine. I do think you buying 4 gifts for one child is a lot regardless of price so would def save half for birthday. That's more main gifts than I buy own children

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 19/12/2016 16:22

Up and down- I'm nc with everyone in my family bar my sis in law (not this one she's dhs) so no my family size has nothing to do with it.

Mil/fil have spent the same on the girls and we do our own presenta at home on Xmas morning before going to mil.

We've had snipes that dd is spoilt before now and for her bday they sent her a game with bits missing that we later found out was their dds. My dd has her moments but generally she's a normal 2 year old that comes with the normal challenges

OP posts:
Artandco · 19/12/2016 16:25

Oh and she's 2 years. She doesn't actually know it's Xmas.

WankersHacksandThieves · 19/12/2016 16:25

WHen someone says £30 though o would assume £30 maximum not a target ie don't spend £100 on gift as too much but £5 gift fine

Really?!

If I agreed £30 then I'd not spend less than £25 and would go up to £35. I'd be really dischuffed if someone then spent a fiver and I'm generally a generous person. In fact If I saw a great gift at £25 I'd get that and add in some sweets or whatever to get close to the £30, there is no way on earth I'd spend a fiver.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 19/12/2016 16:27

Art - I can assure you she knows it's Christmas 🎄

OP posts:
cookiefiend · 19/12/2016 16:27

Split- DN won't know. I would give her one gift for each her birthday and Christmas and keep the others as gifts for other people or he de in future years. It sounds like her parents are bein snide about your child which would make me angry.

If they are giving a token gift it is fine for you to as well. DN won't 'suffer' she is still getting a gift, but you will feel better about it.

WankersHacksandThieves · 19/12/2016 16:28

OP if you've agreed a budget with them, it's not up to them to decide that your DD has enough stuff and therefore arbitrarily reduce it.

They could have said beforehand if they felt that in general the children have too much so let's just spend £10 this year. Sounds like some more family that will be getting knocked of your list :(