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Christmas

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Original poster

presents received massively under budget wwud?

184 replies

Nicpem1982 · 19/12/2016 16:06

When my sil and I had children it was decided that we would just buy for the dcs.

We agree a budget each year £30 this year and me and my dh spend that and dn ends up with a lovely present.

Bil has told us that they've bought my dd (age 2) a book from the works for £4.00 and that's all they're getting as they feel my dc has enough presents from other people.

I am massively tempted to split my DNs present into 2 and cover her bday as well do I do this or just be nice and hand over the bag of presents on Christmas morning to dn?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 19/12/2016 17:01

Yorkies we will at mils on Christmas Day

OP posts:
dowhatnow · 19/12/2016 17:01

That's so not being reasonable. Who are they to deem a child has enough? How can they agree a budget and not stick to it. I'd split it in half; it still looks a lot anyway. Next year I'd agree up front what they are spending and then match it.

SestraClone · 19/12/2016 17:01

All of us often get a bag of presents from our in-laws. we love it and it is usually lovely gifts.

Giselaw · 19/12/2016 17:02

They've made it very clear they're only buying one thing because they don't believe your child should have "too much". You wouldn't want to offend them by also giving "too much" to their child now would you Grin. Keep the other stuff back - sometimes it's nice to just randomly give a gift for no reason when the child isn't expecting anything on a visit.

TinselTwins · 19/12/2016 17:02

Anyway, your ILs clearly are not into the mutliple gift thing, which means that they probably don't enjoy recieving multiple gifts from you, but you insist on continuing to do so because YOU like GIVING multiple gifts.. and that seems to matter more to you than whether they like recieving them (which I think they're heavily hinting towards)

SheldonCRules · 19/12/2016 17:04

I'd split too, very unfair to go back on an agreed budget.

It's fine to get multiple gifts upto the budget amount, we do multiples for everyone plus something to eat. Much better several smaller things they want than one larger item that's bought for the sake of it.

BizzyFizzy · 19/12/2016 17:04

Christmas is about giving, not receiving. Stick with your original plan.

TinselTwins · 19/12/2016 17:05

as bil had been regularly asking for high priced items for bdays and Christmas prior to this for his dd

Are you sure he didn't mean "please can you just get one decent thing rather than a whole bag of "stuff" because it's just too much?

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 19/12/2016 17:05

Plums - no we didn't but we do now, you don't give to receive I know but it's the using it to make a point about my dd that's annoying me

OP posts:
pklme · 19/12/2016 17:05

In future years, your DD will notice that her cousin is getting much better gifts. You need to get things reasonably fair before that.

SestraClone · 19/12/2016 17:05

Tinsel, you are quite obsessed Grin

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 19/12/2016 17:06

Tinsel - an iPad mini, a pair of converse and hoody, a pair of dr martens and a sand pit, a kitchen all complete with links so we can just click on them

OP posts:
YorkiesGlasses · 19/12/2016 17:07

So, your other nieces and nephews won't be there, just your BIL and his family? Then I'd definitely get something more appropriate. Won't they feel awkward if your DM opens several gifts when your DD only gets a cheap book? In fact, will your DD feel something's amiss if she gets one gift from their family and her cousin gets more from yours? I'd at least halve it.

Bluntness100 · 19/12/2016 17:08

I would not split, as it's sinking to their level and playing a game of tit for tat that only the kids suffer in.

I'd be the bigger person, you have the gifts, you can afford the gifts, so give your niece the gifts with love. The fact her father is being an arse and making your child suffer doesn't mean you should also be an arse and do the same to his.

TinselTwins · 19/12/2016 17:09

Are you sure he didn't mean just one of those things OP?

Bluntness100 · 19/12/2016 17:09

Oh and if I was going to be mean, I'd say he will look like a total mean arsehole when his daughter opens her gifts and yours theirs.

Bertieboo1 · 19/12/2016 17:10

Even one of these things would be excessive to get a DN in my opinion Tinsel!

Seeing as we are talking about excessive gift giving and all that.....

OopsDearyMe · 19/12/2016 17:10

I would give the gift you got, maybe a little snide remark about you knowing her child has plenty of things but it is Christmas after all.... Throwing own shit back at her.

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 19/12/2016 17:10

Yorkie my dd won't notice her cousin has more presents from us than she has from them.

We see my other nieces and nephews on Xmas eve for brunch and a Xmas movie

OP posts:
PutDownThatLaptop · 19/12/2016 17:11

Why is everyone having a go at the OP for bringing a bag of presents? Why do people say that they would be upset if an auntie bought multiple presents? If a family member bought one/two/twenty presents for my child I would be grateful and happy.
I have bought one Dnephew (3) a set of three gifts and the other one (1) I have bought two gifts for. My DD (9) will get the toy that she has asked for from her auntie and uncle.
I never realised it was such a minefield.

TinselTwins · 19/12/2016 17:12

Even one of these things would be excessive to get a DN in my opinion Tinsel!

I agree, but if you have someone who is being problematic and buying a whole bag of gifts just from them, it might be a way of suggesting how if they do wanna over-buy, one big thing is nicer than a whole bag of "stuff"

People who buy too much are hard to deal with

Bertieboo1 · 19/12/2016 17:12

I would text, OP, 'just to clarify if you would like to set a lower budget for gifts for the children?'

Original poster
Nicpem1982 · 19/12/2016 17:12

Tinsel he has sent a request through for a high priced item regularly the dr martens and sandpit was an Easter request

OP posts:
Bertieboo1 · 19/12/2016 17:13

Tinsel, ok but I still think an IPad is a massive step up from a £30 budget bag of gifts!

Bogeyface · 19/12/2016 17:13

Sorry but good pjs cost £30 minimum alone. Pjs , game, books etc all for £30 indicates basic polyester pjs

You bloody snob!

What a load of crap, you can get perfectly good PJs for a lot less than £30, although of course that requires removing your head from your arse and looking for them Hmm

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