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Original poster

Guests (family) came to spend 2 days, they are supposed to provide drinks but didnt bring enough...

221 replies

Upcycled · 24/12/2013 22:47

My Christmas is nearly ruined. They guaranteed to us they would bring all the drinks we needed and even asked what we wanted but they didn't bring enough. They arrived this evening to eat an amazing buffet and they will have the most lovely dinner tomorrow with loads of nice nibbles during the day but they couldn't be arsed to bring enough drinks. Probably there is enough wine but 4 bottles of J2O between 7 people clearly is not enough. And Dh drinks only beer, they know it and brought only 12 small bottles of corona which they are drinking too. No soft drinks for Dd at all. And the icing on the cake was when I asked MIL if I could have some coke from the half bottle they left in the kitchen and as I am pouring it BIL jokes that I am drinking HIS coke so I apologise and tell him I asked MIL to which he replies that it is not MIL's coke but his....then I realise that the only coke they brought. And no, they aren't strapped for cash. In the last few days they went to a posh restaurant, went to see a show on the West End and to the cinema. Also MIL cant stop bragging about her pay rise. I am annoyed.

OP posts:
Catzenobia · 25/12/2013 22:55

OP has hosted for a number of years. Hosting involves a lot of organisation, effort and expense. Her DH's family has made no effort to take her into account and nobody helps out with prep, washing up etc which are relentless when hosting for lots of people. This is about more than a bottle of coke. I would be upset and angry too. I would expect my DH to sort it out and he would but doesn't seem that anyone is looking out for OP.

FishfingersAreOK · 25/12/2013 23:32

I think it is appalling that the OP has had such a battering.

She has come on here to vent. To moan. As many other threads have been started. It is better surely to moan here a bit than potentially gripe at family and ruin the day? I think she is right to be annoyed. And it sounds like there may be some background issues . I think a few gentle comments to suggest how she approaches would have been fine. She also asked for advice on how to maybe approach the subject with her in-laws.

But she has been attacked personally. And repeatedly. Called a twat. Her behaviour pulled up for being bitchy and moany. First world problems. Get a grip yadeyadeyade.

And all this for coming on to have a moan. FFS. As a PP said, Christmas is a stressful time for some. Far better surely she comes here to vent than explode at home. A bit of festive understanding would not have gone amiss.

And to all those who have ripped into her? You are slating her for bitching about her family here? And you are so much better? For ripping into a stranger? Well done to you! Clearly not full of Christmas cheer. I hope you are proud of yourselves.

SirRaymondClench · 26/12/2013 00:02

Er..she came on here to moan that she didn't have enough coca cola to drink? Which she deemed had ruined Christmas.
And then didn't buy herself any when she could have done.
It was hardly ever life and death.
I'm out - this is beyond ridiculous!
Hmm

SugarHut · 26/12/2013 00:23

Wowsers. MN is a whole heap of loveliness today!!

OP, YANBU to be irked when you saw what they had brought. Especially if in previous years, this arrangement has been in place and they got it spot on. You then drip feed that it was perhaps done deliberately amongst themselves for other reasons, and not to be cheap towards you.

YABU for not just going "Hmmm, something's going on here, there's not enough of what people want, and weird little comments are being made. I'll worry about it later. It's Christmas, and it's about my DD having a fab time. I'll send DH out for 15mins to grab coke, juice and beer, and make sure he walks back in making sure they see he's had to go out and buy more."

YABVVVU for spending your Christmas day on MN acting like a div over what could have been such a non issue. I get that it was an annoyance, but ffs OP, look how you've spent your day :(

MaryzBoychildCheeszuzCrizpz · 26/12/2013 00:30

Is everyone who is having a shit Christmas gathering on threads like this in the hope that they can feel marginally better by trying to make someone else feel shite?

Because it certainly feels like it [baffled]

Original poster
Upcycled · 26/12/2013 00:34

We all had a good day at the end. I must admit if I did not had this thread here to come too and vent, the day would have been more stresseful because I would have no one to talk to. Yesterday when I mentioned to Dh that PiL forgot my coke and Dd's juice he said he was going to buy this morning instead but I went to church so thrte was no need for him to go out. Yes it was childish of me not buying my own coke on my way back home from church but as I said before BIL took the piss bringing half bottle and telling me off joking it was his coke and I wasnt allowed to drink it. He went and bought his coke at 6 pm and took it to bed with him minus the spirit. To whoever said above they dont understand the division of the drinks: I dont either and it wasn't like this on previous years. Anyway, thanks to everyone who participated and kept the thread going. Better rant here then with the family.

OP posts:
Original poster
Upcycled · 26/12/2013 00:41

Ah and the day is loooooong. As I said they like to spend the whole day watching TV and I stay online with family and friends abroad. We have breaks when we talk, laugh, have fun. They never sensed my annoyanve and the day went on fine. In fact the more I came here less annoyed I became so thanks MN for providing me with this outlet.

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 26/12/2013 00:47

op

Lesson to be taken from this is - don't offer to host. Do Christmas your own way without them next year.

Simple.

loveroflife · 26/12/2013 00:48

"BIL took his coke to bed with him"...

Best thing I've ever read here!!!

Theodorous · 26/12/2013 05:04

Seeing as you went to church, with it being Christmas and all, maybe you should show a little bit of tolerance and forgiveness. It sounds like you are ruining the day.

LtEveDallas · 26/12/2013 06:37

"BIL took his coke to bed with him"???

BIL is a tightfisted twat. Fuck 'em off next year OP, I would.

Hope you have a nice day today after your guests have gone.

Lottapianos · 26/12/2013 07:05

Cannot believe the pasting you've had on here OP. Some people are such sanctimonious gits. Be happy with tap water on Xmas day? FFS!

I get where you're coming from completely. And no, none of you sound like alcoholics! I think your guests were very tight and I would be annoyed too in your shoes. Glad the day went OK in the end. Please try to ignore the tap water/get a grip brigade on here x

LtEveDallas · 26/12/2013 09:40

Haha ha!

OP, I've just been having a tidy up at MILs and have discovered that, between 10 of us (one 8 year old, the rest adults) we have cleared off:

48 cans of Carlsberg
24 bottles of Budweiser
6 bottles of Duff
3 cans of cider
2 bottles of white wine
3 bottles of diet coke
1 bottle of fat coke
6 cans of J2O
1 litre innocent juice

No spirits have been finished but we have opened and got started on:

1 bottle of Smirnoff
1 bottle of Jack Daniels
1 bottle of Grouse
1 bottle of Baileys

DH and I paid for most of the drink, MIL got most of the food. We've got a party tonight so DH is going to have to brave Tescos after all and probably replace everything so we have enough.

I think your BIL would have been thrown out waaaaaay before Christmas Dinner if he was here (and never invited back).

oldbaghere · 26/12/2013 09:42

Something obv going on with BIL.

But. If you wanted fecking coke whey didn't you just fecking buy it when you were in the fecking shop.

Act like Joan of arc (a martyr) and you get burned. And that was my gran's saying. Seems like it's true on mn as well as RL Grin

Lovecat · 26/12/2013 09:44

YANBU to be upset, I'd be really unhappy about it.

Where you may be a bit U is that you didn't challenge them openly about it. When they brought in the drink and BIL made his crack about the coke, I think I'd have a) burst out laughing at him and b) said WTF is going on here, have we offended you in some way because for the last few years there's been plenty for all, now suddenly we're all on short rations? I understand your need to understand, but surely you do that by asking?

As for the not helping you clear up/informing you they're staying on another day that is beyond rude. I'm afraid I'd be "Right! Who's on the first lot of washing up duty, then?" and just stand staring at them.

Have they gone yet? Hope you have a nice relaxing day without them :)

limitedperiodonly · 26/12/2013 10:02

I was drawn here from the other thread OP.

YWBU. I'd have been annoyed too.

I drink only wine and water. It makes me feel close to Jesus.

Which I'm sure was the spirit in which so many other posters have commented Xmas Wink

limitedperiodonly · 26/12/2013 10:03

Sorry YWNBU

Xmas Smile
saintmerryweather · 26/12/2013 10:12

So...the op gets slated for spending time ranting about selfish family members not upholding their part of the arrangements...do you nasty bitches basically telling her to get off MN (paraphrasing) honestly think you are any better? In fact I would say you're worse since you have come here specifically to snipe and try to bring someone down. Dont you have anything better to do on christmas?

SMorgauseBordOfChristmasTat · 26/12/2013 10:20

I'm guessing the in-laws are having issues around finance with BiL and you're getting the fallout.

LtEveDallas · 26/12/2013 10:33

Glad to we the other bitchy thread has been zapped. Not on at all.

NigellasDealer · 26/12/2013 11:57

sounds like your family has an alcohol problem ltevedallas

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/12/2013 12:00

No it doesn't. From some people's posts I think they have a bitching problem though

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/12/2013 12:02

I have a jealousy problem..was given 1.5 small.glasses champagne only yesterday Xmas Grin

LtEveDallas · 26/12/2013 12:12

Nah, we have a 'having a good time with each other and celebrating the season' problem - and we've done exact that Smile

Tonight we will probably have around 30 people popping in and out between 6 and midnight (I say popping in, most of them stayed the whole time last year!) and there will be more laughter, fun, games and love.

I enjoy Christmas at my MILs, even if I do have to do all the cooking She knows how to live life like it's her last Christmas on earth - which it may be. She had the BEST time yesterday, and will again today.

Much more fun than bitching about other people because your own standards are different to theirs. I know where I'd rather be Grin

Fanjo, if you can get to N Wales it's open house here, like it is every year. Everyone is welcome (well, nearly everyone, OPs BIL can piss off!)

limitedperiodonly · 26/12/2013 12:26

What an uncommon sense of charm you possess nigellasdealer.

I must try to pick some up in the January sales.

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