My annual internal struggle with jazzy sprouts.

[Slubberdegullion]

Mental struggle.
Not gastrointestinal struggle.

Do I or do I not do jazzy sprouts?

I think it's probably a metaphor.

Please do NOT give me a recipe for your fabulous jazzy sprout recipe. It will only make it worse.

I would like someone to say they slaved away doing jazzy sprouts for years and years and years then one year thought 'fuck you fancy fucking sprouts' and went back to just plain old sprouts, and Christmas didn't become sad and grey and hollow for it.

[Tinyminx]

I thought it said jizzy sprouts too, which is a step too far. I would put a smiley but don't know how to. So plain text, not jizzy.

Plain all the way. Same with carrots. I tried honey glazed carrots. Shit. I like my dinner with salt and gravy. Real gravy, not jizz

[Slubberdegullion]

Sprouts in gin

Well after much consideration and ponderments I am going to go with puritanical sprouts this year. They are going to make a stand, a sort of mini green belligerent Oliver Cromwell on a plate of otherwise ostentatious vulgarity. The chestnuts will feature in a stuffing and there is already a shed load of pork on the plate, so naked sprouts it is this year.

Thank you all.

[MTBMummy]

I hate sprouts Jazzy or otherwise. If be happy with none and only eat one at Christmas as my DP goes to great efforts every year to make them edible.

[TheBitchesOfWeestick]

Jazz sprouts eh? Is this something we can expect to hear about during the Nigella/Saatchi back and forth in court?

[Littlemissexpecting]

We're having ours in a cheese sauce, the kids eat them that way!!

[Hassled]

You can't polish a turd. If you're determined to eat them, no amount of pancetta or chestnuts is going to make it not taste like a sprout. Might as well save yourself some effort and just have sprouts - you've made the right decision.

[LegoUniverse]

I've got a recipe for deep fried sprouts in wasabi tempura batter. What do you think? Too jazzy even for poor Nigella? Wonder if she will have sprouts three ways?

[fairisleknitter]

Lego you win Jazziest Sprout Award!

[CalamitouslyWrong]

We're not having sprouts at all. I don't really mind sprouts (and I can taste their super bitterness, it just doesn't outrage me) but no one else likes them so I'm not bothering with veg only one person will eat. I wouldn't jazz them up regardless because you're just creating a hole dishwasher load for a single vegetable and there's quite enough to go in the dishwasher already without complicating matters.

There will be no chestnuts anywhere near my Christmas dinner. Vile tasting, nasty textured, horrible looking things. I'm making my own stuffing because all the stuff in shops is infested with the things, and every year I end up thinking how much I hate them. No one else likes them either, so we all win.

[CavemanDaveIsVeryBrave]

I like my sprouts overdone

[PacificDingbat]

Dave, me too
Jazzy, overcooked sprouts here - I cannot wait

[Gladvent]

I am doing Too Many Sprouts so I can have jazzy shredded leftover ones too.

[Stropperella]

I love sprouts. Sometimes jazzy with chestnuts, but mainly just plain and a bit crunchy. And no crosses on the sprout-bottoms because that is just a load of nonsense invented by some misery-monger.

[CavemanDaveIsVeryBrave]

My mother once did the sprouts with garlic butter & bacon and it "Ruined the whole of Christmas" for my granny

[BerylStreep]

Stir fried sprouts are the way to go, dressed with walnut oil.

I bought 3 bags at Sainsburys today for 10p each!

[MelanieCheeks]

Thread them on a piece of string, hang them around your neck, and announce "I've put on the sprouts!"

[purrforamincepie]

Love this thread!

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

In the EvilGenius household, sprouts are lightly boiled (so they stay crisp and not soggy) - I don't cut crosses in the base, as I have been told this promotes sogginess - and then right at the end, I throw in some chestnuts to heat through. Then they are served exactly as they come out of the sieve - not even a knob of butter.

I did watch Jamie Oliver making a stir-fry out of shredded sprouts, smoked bacon and worcestershire sauce - I am guessing that would definitely count as jazzy sprouts, and would be interdicted under the OP. It looked OK, but not right for accompanying the christmas bird.