My annual internal struggle with jazzy sprouts.

[Slubberdegullion]

Mental struggle.
Not gastrointestinal struggle.

Do I or do I not do jazzy sprouts?

I think it's probably a metaphor.

Please do NOT give me a recipe for your fabulous jazzy sprout recipe. It will only make it worse.

I would like someone to say they slaved away doing jazzy sprouts for years and years and years then one year thought 'fuck you fancy fucking sprouts' and went back to just plain old sprouts, and Christmas didn't become sad and grey and hollow for it.

Steamed. No cross. Butter paper. Right. Yes. That sounds excellent.

And then vajazzle them on boxing day.

we just chuck some frozen sprouts in a steamer bag in the microwave (at the last minute 'cos I always forget them) then when hot, bung in some butter, salt and black pepper - serve straight to the plate - no extra washing up...

OK.

Not mess with them on Boxing Day.

If you MUST feed your jazzy sprout obsession - pick a day that isn't Christmas!

Christmas dinner has too many flavours to appreciate the jazz of a sprout and any other meal of the season needs to be relaxed.

How about New Years Day? If you have smartish dinner it could maybe cope with a jazzy sprout?? Maybe.

I don't own a steamer bag, what's a steamer bag? A bag to steam things obvs. Where does one acquire such a thing?

Not AT ALL sure about frozen sprouts though. What do you do with your hands while listening to Carols from Kings on the radio if not peeling sprouts?

Ooops - I've just seen that we seem to have turkey, chips and GRAVEYARD for lunch on Boxing Day!

GRAVY ffs.

I was going to start a "I love sprouts" thread but your discomfiture is well better, Slubber, so thank you!

I love sprouts in all their incarnations, minimalist, mild-jazzy and über-jazzy (as long as somebody else cooks them, mind), so I do not feel your pain.

Keep it plain for the 25th, pimp your sprout on the 26th or any other day of the year.
There, problem solved. You're welcome.

I agree Crikey.

I agree. There are too many flavours on the plate on Christmas day to appreciate the fully formed jazzy sprout [folds arms]
but I really like chestnuts too and nemno and Ali just chuck them in the same pan

I hadn't planned a smart ish dinner in New Years day but I think I want one now just to be the vehicle for 'sprouts 3 ways'.

Sorry OP I know you said you didn't want recipes and suggestions .

What do you want. Do you want your sprouts jazzy or plain? do you even like sprouts?

For anyone who doesn't like sprouts, why cook them? I can guarantee that there is not a child in the land that will be disappointed with no sprouts (OK, there probably will be, but if they're old enough to express an opinion on this they're probably nearly old enough to make their own).

And any MILs, SILs, DHs etc who want sprouts, they will generally also be capable of making their own (again obv exceptions for anyone with disabilities that preclude sprout preparation and jazzifying).

So if you want sprouts, do them, if you want jazzy sprouts, jazzy them, but if you would prefer other vegetables, have them instead!

I know its traditional to have sprouts at christmas, but that doesn't make it compulsory unless you want to do it.

(I still might make my sprouts 3 ways but only because I have nearly 2 weeks off work and no DCs and I like cooking/faffing around with food, when I have the time and the inclination).

I thought graveyard was what your family called your dinners that were drowned in gravy.
I liked it. It gave me a warm and fuzzy.

"mummy, mummy, are we having chips and graveyard tonight for dinner?"
"yes my darlings we are"

Lovely.

Please call it that now.

I'm now looking for reasons to do "sprouts three ways" :)

DH will be delighted!!

I don't know what I want Gin.

Pathetic isn't it.

I don't know. I'm a 38 year old strong capable woman and I don't know how I want my sprouts.

I shall - turkey chips and graveyard it is :)

We will do jazzy sprouts. We eat regular boiled sprouts at other times so we like jazzy sprouts at Christmas.

Par boiled, cut in half, fried with bacon bits, butter and black pepper. Totally lush.

Pull yourself together, woman!

Did that help?
Or are you going to have me arrested for assault?

I do non jazzy sprouts (out and proud) because the people who like them in my house like them plain and those that don't aren't going to fall for jizziness.

Sprouts taste like farts from the devil's own arsehole. They are vile. Jazzy or not. I do always eat ONE with my Christmas lunch just cos it's traditional

You start a thread asking for help about vegetables on mn and it ends up with someone hitting you.

Blimey that sad face with a hat on looks really really sad doesn't it.

Just like my rl face Pacifist
Oh the IRONY of your name

i'm super taster???

off to google.

LOVE LOVE sprouts any way jazzy or otherwise.
TBH there is enough other jazzy stuff on the christmas table.

Is it really bad that I am giggling (out loud) at obv exceptions for anyone with disabilities that preclude sprout preparation and jazzifying ??

slubber hitting notwithstanding, come on you can do a Minimalist Sprout, you know you can. We will support you.

I am only pacifist at Christmas time ::peace and love:: but I thought the tried and tested cure for hysteria was appropriate for your predicament.

@ farts from the devil's own arsehole - and how exactly would you know that, Tilly, hm??

Personally, I think a Minimalist Christmas Dinner is the way forward - as long as it includes sprouts, one way or another (or even 3 ways)

Cut them in half if you must, but no crossing. It just makes them waterlogged. That's what the BBC says, so it's official.