My annual internal struggle with jazzy sprouts.

[Slubberdegullion]

Mental struggle.
Not gastrointestinal struggle.

Do I or do I not do jazzy sprouts?

I think it's probably a metaphor.

Please do NOT give me a recipe for your fabulous jazzy sprout recipe. It will only make it worse.

I would like someone to say they slaved away doing jazzy sprouts for years and years and years then one year thought 'fuck you fancy fucking sprouts' and went back to just plain old sprouts, and Christmas didn't become sad and grey and hollow for it.

I liked reading graveyard on boxing day. I thought it was something to do with the veg - we make" dead vegetable soup" with leftover veg fairly regularly.

steamer bags these are the ones I use... less washing up on Christmas day if the veg are all done in bags.

Terry Wogan reminds folks every year to put them on in September to cook or they will not be ready in time for Christmas. I think this is just for the over-sixties though.

Who is it who crosses? Is it Nigella, or maybe it's Delia. Some hauty arse of a chef was asked "do you cross your sprouts like Nigella-Delia and the priggish git scoffed out of his nose.
Made me want to cross all my sprouts until kingdom come that did. Twat.

Microwave bags look very novel StarDust, do they really work? With A LOT of sprouts?

I accessorise my sprouts as thus

Step one: purchase one of those fuck of sprout tree monsters from the market

Step two: place in heavy vase on table. Adorn with tinsel and twiggy shit.

Step three: enjoy guests with a sense of humour commenting on your festive flora table centerpiece in the run up to Christmas.

Step 4: Christmas Day, boil water, pluck of enough sprouts and remove and dubious out leaves and lob in pan (not bottom cutting required as they are freshly plucked).

Step 5: relocate festive sprout arrangement to far off corner till about 5 days after Xmas, chuck all left over odd vegetables in fridge and sprouts in pan, boil the shit out of it all add chicken stock and blend into lovely cleansing vegetable soup.

See. Jazzy, simple and cost effective.

Missing end quote here -> "

Now putting twinkly lights on a sprout monster branch is not something I would ever have thought of. Does it not pong?

4 minute sprouts is what i like - thats that

As long as you have sprouts, you are doing fine IMHO. It's people who don't like sprouts who are not to be trusted.

In your dilemma I would do one bowl of jazzy and one of plain. Or if it's the actual faff of jazzing them up you don't like, buy some ready-prepared jazzy sprouts.

HoneyDragon, I luffs your style (but you knew that anyway).

DH has just announced that he wishes to have jazzy sprouts so he has been elevated to Master of Sprouts.

Well I will be staying with the PILs, who in ask honesty are probably already boiling their sprouts.

The carrots will go on on the 20th. The spuds will be booked overnight and then mercifully mashed rather than any attempts made to roast then.

Messers Paxo and Oxo will be providing the trimmings.

The ham (wtf? Who had a ham and a turkey for Christmas dinner?) will be cooked for about 20minutes and will be distressingly wobbly.

The 3 different Christmas puddings (catering for dairy, wheat and nut intolerance) will be given a quick whizz in the microwave and no-one will twig that this might be the cause of their gut ache.

This year I will be taking a hamper of cheese as a way of staving off starvation and ham poisoning.

I am coveting all your jazzy sprouts.

Err rant over

I made a lovely concoction last year with left over sprouts. Bit like beef wellington but with ham and sprouts on the pastry

They do not pong, they are lovely fresh sprouts.

Saves the whole big vs small sprouts debate as to which is nicer each year too.

Incidentally, the correct answer is none.

My spoutmas decor started a few years ago in rebellion at floristrys sudden and alarming insistence that glittery cabbages are somehow festive and should be shoved into a bouquet and charged at £5 per twinkly brassica. They are still a fucking cabbage, rolled in glitter. They look stupid next to a ponsittia. My reasoning is sprouts are Christmassy,cabbages are not, ergo sprouts in vase, cabbage left wilting in with the chrysanthemums.

Peel a bit.
Cross the bottom because my mom did. That's why.
Boil until just done.
Cut in half.
Stir fry in bacon fat.
Cover in gravy.
Eat too many.
Become socially unacceptable due to 'emissions'
Any leftovers become bubble and squeak. Literally!

I like my sprouts jazzy (bacon, chestnuts, Marsala. Yum) but my mum is cooking this year so they will be plain and over cooked. I am undeterred and we are having jazzy sprouts on Christmas Eve.

Er, we have a turkey and a ham. And non jazzy sprouts.

Shit. I going to have to cook sprouts this year. DH and I hate them but my brother likes 'em. Since he is driving from Bonny Scotland to spend 36 hours with us over Christmas, s'pose I should make a bit of an effort.

They will be Non Jazzy . If I have to cook thebfuckers and smell them, I'm not jizz-jazzing them too

I like sprouts every which way, but this year we will have ROASTED sprouts.

All you do is bung them in the oven with butter, salt and pepper. Roast them until they go a little bit brown. Not jazzy but really, really nice.

I'm a super taster too. It's not half as exciting as it sounds.

Where do you stand (not literally) on sprouts on a stick? Do you cook them on the stick? If not, what's the bloody point of buying them on the stick?

I don't do jazzy sprouts, but roasted sprouts sounds good. And easy!

what are jazzy sprouts?
i LOVE EM.

i like them sofy and squidgy not so they make a kash.

i m ay have to try jazzy sprouts.

and i really want a sprout tree with fairy lights now!

oh and my 4 and 8 year old love them to

Cook them in gin; very easy and much tastier!