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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Fairy Tale of --New York-- Mumsnet

140 replies

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 24/12/2012 11:08

Fairy tale of ?New York-- Mumsnet

It was Christmas Eve babe
Here on mumsnet
A poster whinged to me
There?s mumsnet royalty
And then we posted stuff
Into A-I-B-U
I logged onto my phone
And trolled about poo.

So often I?m logged on
I may neglect my son
I?ve started to suspect
I?m not the only one
So Happy Christmas
I love you Mumsnet
I can see another year
When I hang out here?

They?ve got threads that take off
They?ve got threads that just fail
But the worst ones for fighting
Link to Daily Mail
When you first flamed my arse
In a mega bun-fight
You said I?d get mentioned
By damned Matthew Wright

We?re vipers
We?re swearers
You?d best all beware us
When the thread hit one-thousand
We started anew
In chat they got lairy
All the trolls were quite hairy
and sometimes its scary
In AIBU

And the Folk of the MNHQ choir
were begging ?please behave?
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day.

You?re a knob
You?re a grunt
You?re an atrocious cunt
Now its message deleted but you know I?m right
You credulous reader
You mad troll believer
Yes Its Christmas I know
But dear god you?re so PO

And the Folk of the MNHQ choir
were begging ?please behave?
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day.

I?m just a knackered Mum
I?m not the only one
I lost a chunk of me
When I gave birth you see
And though I love my child
That moment they first smiled
I like to spend a while
where I can swear without you.

And the Folk of the MNHQ choir
were begging ?please behave?
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day.

OP posts:
SantasNaughtySack · 24/12/2012 21:21

Keema, you're an utter genius Xmas Grin The next time my friend asks me what the hell MN is all about, I'm sending her the link to this thread!
to all!

EmpressOfTheNorthPole · 24/12/2012 21:32

Actually I think MN is full of bloody lovely cunts.

SantasNaughtySack · 24/12/2012 21:34

Ooh-err Empress, my cunt and I are blushing at your high praise Xmas Grin

DreamyDreaminOfAWhiteChristmas · 24/12/2012 21:44

Fantastic! Lots of very talented, funny people on this thread. Xmas Grin

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry · 24/12/2012 21:46

so good!!!!

EmpressOfTheNorthPole · 24/12/2012 21:48

Well, isn't it?

Cunts are great. Look what they can do!

Atrocious cunts are a whole other matter of course.

Jamdoughnutfiend · 24/12/2012 21:50

Ding dong mumsnet on high
On the drunk thread we are drinking
Ding dong trollers that lie
Our BF'ers are milking

Am I beeeing un-season-abllllllllllll-llllllllllll-llllllllllllllllllll-lllllllllle
Of course you are and you know it

BoatysTinselSails · 24/12/2012 21:54

Grin love this thread! So MN festive!

ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone · 24/12/2012 21:59

Once in royal mumsnet city
Stood a lowly parking thread,
Out came all the angry posters
Slashing tyres and scraping cars
Jesus Christ!
It's just a car
Keep hair on
And you'll go far!

ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone · 24/12/2012 22:03

Jingle bells
HQ smells
Please don't delete me
I will be a good girl now
And stop being norty

ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone · 24/12/2012 22:05
Xmas Grin Sorry MNHQ, I don't mean it, I luffs you, you don't really smell much Merry Christmas!
ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone · 24/12/2012 22:13

O come all you posters
Lets all have a bunfight
O come yea, o come yea and grab your buns
Chuck em at trolls, atrocious cunts and arseholes

O come and throw your buns
O come an throw your buns
O come and throw your buuuuuuuuns
Chrisssssst I'm pissed!

Pickles77 · 24/12/2012 22:15

Amazing!!

ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone · 24/12/2012 22:23

Hey pickles! How are you?
How's baby?

OliviaPeaceOnMumsnet · 24/12/2012 22:23

Ahem

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 24/12/2012 22:24

Jingle bells HQ smells.

I'm HOWLING here Xmas Grin

OP posts:
KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 24/12/2012 22:25

Oh Come all ye posters - shakeysings love it.

OP posts:
EmpressOfTheNorthPole · 24/12/2012 22:28

Olivia! Shaky's sorry, we'll make her behave. We're doing our Puddle nativity and since you sang for the Messiah, we want you as the Angel Gabriel.

DizzyHoneyBee · 24/12/2012 22:36

love the original, part of it seems to have been written especially for my ex and part of yours suits him even better :)

Genius...

ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone · 24/12/2012 22:42

Olivia smells like roses obvs I know she's been raiding the tin
Olivia would make a brilliant angel Gabriel but its a bit of a step down from being GOD at MNHQ Xmas Wink

blondietinsellyminx · 24/12/2012 22:50

These are brilliant Xmas Grin Xmas Grin Xmas Grin

notreadyforchristmas · 24/12/2012 22:53

Brilliant Xmas Grin

OliviaPeaceOnMumsnet · 24/12/2012 22:59

@ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone

Olivia would make a brilliant angel Gabriel but its a bit of a step down from being GOD at MNHQ Xmas Wink
Xmas Grin If only.
ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone · 24/12/2012 23:02

Xmas Grin Merry Christmas Olivia MWAH!

So, are you going to be our angel?

ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone · 24/12/2012 23:05

Xmas Grin Merry Christmas Olivia MWAH!

So, are you going to be our angel?