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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Fairy Tale of --New York-- Mumsnet

140 replies

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 24/12/2012 11:08

Fairy tale of ?New York-- Mumsnet

It was Christmas Eve babe
Here on mumsnet
A poster whinged to me
There?s mumsnet royalty
And then we posted stuff
Into A-I-B-U
I logged onto my phone
And trolled about poo.

So often I?m logged on
I may neglect my son
I?ve started to suspect
I?m not the only one
So Happy Christmas
I love you Mumsnet
I can see another year
When I hang out here?

They?ve got threads that take off
They?ve got threads that just fail
But the worst ones for fighting
Link to Daily Mail
When you first flamed my arse
In a mega bun-fight
You said I?d get mentioned
By damned Matthew Wright

We?re vipers
We?re swearers
You?d best all beware us
When the thread hit one-thousand
We started anew
In chat they got lairy
All the trolls were quite hairy
and sometimes its scary
In AIBU

And the Folk of the MNHQ choir
were begging ?please behave?
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day.

You?re a knob
You?re a grunt
You?re an atrocious cunt
Now its message deleted but you know I?m right
You credulous reader
You mad troll believer
Yes Its Christmas I know
But dear god you?re so PO

And the Folk of the MNHQ choir
were begging ?please behave?
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day.

I?m just a knackered Mum
I?m not the only one
I lost a chunk of me
When I gave birth you see
And though I love my child
That moment they first smiled
I like to spend a while
where I can swear without you.

And the Folk of the MNHQ choir
were begging ?please behave?
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day.

OP posts:
GobblersSparklyExplodingKnob · 24/12/2012 12:10

Omg, that's brilliant Grin

Viviennemary · 24/12/2012 12:11

That's amazing. You should be a songwriter. You're one already!

maillotjaune · 24/12/2012 12:14

Keema I didn't think anyone could improve on Shane McGowan's poetry but that is AMAZING Flowers

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 24/12/2012 12:14

Thanks & Blush to everyone!

OP posts:
dingdongMadHairDayonhigh · 24/12/2012 12:14

utterly love it!

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 24/12/2012 12:28

Ivana - I've just noticed your version of away in a manger Xmas Grin.

Maybe we could start a MN christmas song book?

OP posts:
TheWombat · 24/12/2012 12:37

Lovely! It's properly Christmas now!
Thanks

PretzelTime · 24/12/2012 12:38

Merry Xmas all knobs and vipers Xmas Smile

TheWombat · 24/12/2012 12:38

Mumsnet carol-singers! Xmas Grin
I dare you to knock next door and perform those versions Keema and Ivana.

EastHollyDaleStreet · 24/12/2012 12:44

Silent Night
Trolly Night
Lets all start
A bunfight
Host Olivia
Helen and Anne
Heads in hands
reaching out for a can
Not today not today -ay
Just for this time Nicely Play....

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 24/12/2012 13:02

Xmas Grin @ East Holly.

OP posts:
JsOtherHalf · 24/12/2012 13:05

Woohoo for all creative poets :D (I have no ability whatsoever in this area, Mum used to have to write all my poems for primary school homework Xmas Smile )

everlong · 24/12/2012 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlexReidsLonelyThisChristmas · 24/12/2012 14:00

Bravo MN songwriters! You are all clever clogs. Xmas Grin Wine Xmas Grin

pofacedalways · 24/12/2012 14:15

PO??? Am I to take this personally? Xmas Grin

wonderstuff · 24/12/2012 14:21

Excellent, you so clever Thanks

RiaUnderTheMistletoe · 24/12/2012 14:48

Love all of these! Xmas Grin

SellotapeInMyHairExtensions · 24/12/2012 14:54

Grin Fab! Grin

TanteRose · 24/12/2012 14:55

These are all brilliant Flowers to all the genius songwriters Xmas Grin

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 24/12/2012 15:01

well pofaced I didn't want to say, but now you mention it...

OP posts:
RobinsBaubleSparkles · 24/12/2012 15:04

Brilliant!

Xmas Grin Xmas Grin Xmas Grin Xmas Grin

RiaUnderTheMistletoe · 24/12/2012 15:08

The Holly and the AIBU

The Mumsnet section AIBU
Where we all go to moan
To all the trolls who enter there
Beware the HQ?s frown.

The parent-and-child parking
And supermarket grapes
Mother-in-laws, bastard exes
Yabu, yabu, yabu.

Xmas Blush
soontobeyummy · 24/12/2012 15:13

Brilliant, love it! Grin

VBisme · 24/12/2012 15:19

Brilliant, thank you!

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 24/12/2012 15:32

Xmas Grin excellent

OP posts: