Impact of death on daughter constipated sick and accidents

[WinterRach]

Long story short my father in law died last weekend in an accident. DD and him were best of buddies doing everything together so she’s devastated we all are. Since Wednesday she’s been feeling sick not had a poo since Tuesday. I thought perhaps stress might slow her poo down she is eating less. Being sick and wetting at night which again putting down to stress. She has been sick tonight with the pain

My neighbours daughter is a pharmacist she told us to try dulcolax suppositories which I gave her around 6. She’s managed to poo about 10 hard rocks of poo some in the loo some not I’ve had her in the bath to try and help go she’s been on in and out of the bath on the floor and back on the loo. Im pretty sure its just her constipated but I guess you never know what grief can do to them.

Her hands and feet are ice cold too. Ive popped winter fluffy pjs and fluffy socks on now popped towels on the bathroom floor and giver her a hot water bop for her belly.

Oh op. Just a hand hold, really. Thinking of you all.

This sounds absolutely awful. Have they any idea what has made a previously healthy 12 year old so unwell so quickly?
I really hope she gets more comfortable soon.

Has she had a scan?

She’s had 2 bladder scans now but can’t pee and doesn’t meet the criteria to have a cathater. They are giving her more pain relief to help with everything. She’s tried to force a wee out, running the tap and sat her on a chair in the shower still nothing

they’ve not said we and the hospital are trying to work out the now and maybe then work back. We have found out perforated oesophagus can be life threatening

Google tells me that the bladder capacity for a 12 year old is estimated at 390.
But if she's uncomfortable at less than that (280?) surely they could be flexible ( esp.given how much else is going on and that she's in pain ) catheterise earlier ?

Poor girl, she must be so uncomfortable. They should do everything they can to ease this, considering the tear. Fingers crossed she is able to go.

Sending you huge hugs. Have been there with a very unwell child in hospital and it’s not easy especially as you are also grieving. I hope your dd starts feeling more comfortable soon x

Hope you're daughter starts to feel better soon and the hospital instigate some sort of treatment for her.

Have they decided what they are going to do about her oesophagus? I'd be getting concerned that they seem to be going slow about doing something considering the infection etc risk the longer it goes on.

Poor thing. I hope she can get sorted soon.

Poor girl. Sounds awful for her.You must be so worried. I hope things improve for her today

It’s terrible feeling helpless in the face of your child’s suffering. Thinking of you all, and hoping for answers soon.

How awful. I hope she gets some treatment soon and starts to feel better quickly.

What was the reason for doing the camera test?

We’re all rooting for you OP. What a horrible time for you all.

Gosh your poor daughter (and you and your husband). I'm so sorry and I'm wishing your daughter a speedy recovery.

Oh my gosh, you poor things. Is there anything that can distract her from the pain?

Poor thing, what a lot for her to be going through.

id be wanting answers in what they're doing about the tear immediately & if necessary getting the transfer underway.

Just you & her Dad be there as much as possible then she can feel loved & safe and that's a HUGE thing when youre so unwell.

❤️

I’m sure the nurses have suggested this but can she sit a warm water sitz bath with maybe a few drops of some lavender essential oil?

She’s still unable to pee. They are indecisive as to put in a tube, leave the tube in or not do anything and wait. She’s had a lot of pain relief so is settled but getting frustrated as are we.

This all sounds hideous op. I'm sorry. I hope there's some definite action soon. You must be so frustrated.

Remember that you can ask for Martha's Rule and you'll get a rapid review of her care because this doesn't feel quite right to me. They are taking their sweet time about something that is very serious and can be made even more serious if she was to develop sepsis or a more serious infection than she currently has due to her oesophagus issue which they caused in the first place.

I agree with Kirbert2, I think you should be invoking Martha’s rule and asking for a second opinion. They seem to be very laidback about the oesophageal tear, the pain relief and the fact she’s needing to wee and is unable to. Yes there may be an average bladder size but everyone is different and if she’s saying she’s in considerable discomfort from being unable to urinate then you would think that would be sufficient cause to do something about it.
sending you strength OP, I am so sorry for you and your family are having to go through at the moment. Don’t let them fob you off as you know your child better than anyone and you are her best advocate.

So sorry for what you are all going through. Hope today brings an improvement or a better treatment plan.

Your daughter is receiving inadequate care.

If she can’t pee then why haven’t they given her a catheter?

Not pwe

Your daughter is receiving inadequate care.

If she can’t pee then why haven’t they given her a catheter?

Not peeing is very serious.

You need her moved to a better hospital for another opinion.

This isn’t good enough.

I don’t understand why they would give her an endoscopy for her symptoms.