Impact of death on daughter constipated sick and accidents

[WinterRach]

Long story short my father in law died last weekend in an accident. DD and him were best of buddies doing everything together so she’s devastated we all are. Since Wednesday she’s been feeling sick not had a poo since Tuesday. I thought perhaps stress might slow her poo down she is eating less. Being sick and wetting at night which again putting down to stress. She has been sick tonight with the pain

My neighbours daughter is a pharmacist she told us to try dulcolax suppositories which I gave her around 6. She’s managed to poo about 10 hard rocks of poo some in the loo some not I’ve had her in the bath to try and help go she’s been on in and out of the bath on the floor and back on the loo. Im pretty sure its just her constipated but I guess you never know what grief can do to them.

Her hands and feet are ice cold too. Ive popped winter fluffy pjs and fluffy socks on now popped towels on the bathroom floor and giver her a hot water bop for her belly.

I agree. The care she is receiving is woefully inadequate. Her pain is so severe it’s radiating to her shoulder. Something is seriously wrong.

@WinterRach I'm with other posters here. At this point I would be demanding in no uncertain terms that you want a second opinion. Her care really does sound now as if it is totally inadequate. So sorry you are going through this

Exactly. I am very concerned. Have they even performed an MRI & CT of her abdomen? Or are they just given her an ultrasound of her bladder?

An endoscopy and a colonoscopy sounds really bizarre for her symptoms.

OP said her daughter had 2 CT scans of her abdomen yesterday.

I'm especially concerned because my son had a similar issue (he ended up having a bowel obstruction which is what caused his constipation and vomiting) but the first hospital didn't act quickly enough and things got worse for my son before they got better and it was totally avoidable.

Your poor DD! Hope things improve quickly.

If she's 12 she can have adult laxido/movicol powder sachets. They cam be bought without prescription from the chemist. I'd give her 2-3 every day in squash. Sometimes my daughter gets blocked up for a week, these work by softening it up. The suppositories help squeeze it out, but it will be painful if they're hard. The laxido usually take a few days to work, but they really so work! Hope your daughter feels better soon.

Another message to say PLEASE invoke Martha’s rule. This is exactly why it is available.

Do it now, as in NOW, not in an hour/ this evening/ whenever you next see a nurse or doctor. You need to walk to find the nearest doctor or nurse and say you are very worried, you’re invoking Martha’s rule and you need to see a doctor immediately. Don’t wait for something to change.

I’m sorry that happened to your son.

I don’t think the hospital the OP is at can treat her daughter and she needs to be sent elsewhere before they stuff up anything else.

Agreed, hopefully if they review her case they will transfer her to a larger hospital

I agree with advising you to invoke Martha’s rule as her inability to wee combined with her other symptoms is very concerning. It diss sound like she needs to be transferred to a bigger hospital.

Have they done anymore blood tests today to check her infection markers?

I think the OP is in the ROI, (southdoc and 111 not being available) so I don’t think Martha’s law is relevant.

OP can you push to be transferred to the bigger hospital? I don’t get their reasoning to not put in the catheter - she can’t wee and is in pain.

I agree.

My son ended up with septic shock due to the delays which caused multi organ failure and 7 weeks in intensive care. All because the first hospital seemed adamant that he didn't need surgery, apparently it was just gastroenteritis despite him vomiting so much they inserted a NG tube and despite the fact that even without medical training, even I could see he was clearly vomiting faeces at that point. The nurses saw it too but the doctors? Not interested.

This was 18 months ago, actually just the month before Martha's Rule was implemented and I think it would've made a difference because I just didn't felt listened to as a parent and it almost had disastrous consequences.

Thankfully the hospital where he was transferred to were amazing and saved his life.

Absolutely devastated for you and your daughter op, what a terrible time. Saw this thread a few days ago and can't believe it's ongoing. Hope you get some answers soon and your dd has some comfort

I don't understand why people here (especially those who are not medically trained) think they know better than the staff at the hospital who have all the information, not just the bits and pieces given to us by the mother. The medical staff probably have good reason for doing what they're doing.

Hope you get some answers soon

Because medical staff are humans and make mistakes sometimes too. Sometimes we have to advocate for ourselves or our loved ones. My husband suffered because he wasn't listened to, the consequences of his poor medical care in a local hospital were catastrophic.

I thought this too!

Because they are still human and can make mistakes like the rest of us can. Why do you think Martha's Rule exists in the first place?

There's nothing wrong with a concerned parent asking questions, asking for a second opinion etc I wish I had started asking questions sooner than I did. I certainly knew better than the doctor who claimed my son didn't need surgery when he absolutely did.

Of course we should ask questions and yes, they can make mistakes. But they obviously know more about the situation than we do so they could have very good reasons for the course they are following.

I can't believe they are not catheterising her.
My gran was unable to pass urine for 3 days and she ended up with sepsis by the time they catheterised her and she died. Ok, she had a lot of other problems too but the banked up urine caused a deadly infection. Hearing her scream I agony haunts me to this day.

They've already made a mistake by causing a tear in her esophagus which is incredibly serious.

Maybe they do but I would prefer to advise OP to question everything and be wrong than for her daughter to go through anything like my son went through due to inadequate care.

They've already made a mistake by causing a tear in her esophagus which is incredibly serious.

Persistent vomiting by itself can cause such a tear, actually.

Mallory-Weiss Tear
Cause: This is a tear in the inner lining of the lower esophagus, most commonly caused by prolonged or forceful vomiting or coughing

@Muffinmam yes it would be extremely unusual for a 12 year old child to have an OGD, and a colonoscopy would involve bowel prep.
It would be very rare that these tests would be performed during an acute admission.
It would be interesting to know the doctor's rationale behind ordering these tests.

Does Martha's rule apply in Southern Ireland?.

I truly believe that this hospital should throw in the towel and transfer the child to a specialist child hospital as a matter of urgency. Here in North Wales children are moved to Alderhay, great Ormond Street for more complex cases.

The parents need to start being more assertive. Their child was admitted with constipation, now we've progressed to bladder issues and a torn oesophagus.

It's quite shocking to be honest.

I'm another person who's been reading and getting increasingly concerned about how long the doctors seem to be leaving this girl so ill for so long (aside from perforating her oesophagus).

Have you been told what is causing her bowel obstruction? Is it a blockage of poo or it is it a blockage of the actual bowel (eg a loop of bowel)? Is she pooing at all?

The reason I am asking this is that what guidance there is suggests that a bowel obstruction should be conservatively managed for up to 3 days (which means wait to see if it resolves naturally, give fluids etc in the mean time) but if it has not improved in that time then it needs to be operated on.

They seem to be concentrating on the oesophagus now (which they stapled closed?) but a perforated bowel is also potentially life threatening.

All the other symptoms can be caused by an obstruction but don't seem to be being managed well. The ongoing vomiting can be because the digestive system stops moving which can be prevented with an NG tube to release bile from the stomach and the urinary retention can be from the bowel obstruction blocking the urethra which can be relieved with a catheter. But it won't resolve until whatever is going on with her bowel is sorted out.