My 7 year old has a tattoo.

[colditz]

Oh how I wish this was a bid to get your attention.

from what I can gather, his dad was having a tattoo done at his own flat, and Ds1 said "What does that feel like?" and before anyone knew what was going to happen, he -who is about to die--

the tattooist jabbed Ds1's hand with the tattoo gun that was being used on ds1's dad.

So.

It's the tiniest dot, nobody told me about it, and it was 5 months ago.

I now have to take my 7 year old for a fucking hiv and hep b test.

I have a police investigation going on (but all I know is that the bloke's name is 'tattoo tony', he has relatives on the isle of wight and stars tattooes on his head/face)

And I have barred the kids from visiting their dad. Overnights will now take place here, at my huge inconvenience. And my friends and family will be dropping in to my house on these occasions, unannounced.

I was swollen with rage the day I found out. My boyfriend is taking the day off work next week and travelling 40 iles to my house to take ds1 in for his bloods, so I don't upset him with my hysteria.

I don't know what to think and I don't know what to do. My child has been assaulted and I was not informed.

No, his girlfriend didn't know either. She was at work when it happened, apparently.

this is why I don't trust the ex. he's secretive.

oh love, i do feel for you. it must be hard to let your kids go to him if you don't trust him.

I don't trust him to do the right thing
i don't trust him to tell me if bad things happen
I don't trust him to do what needs to be done
I do not trust him at all.

BUT it wasn't him. It was a twat that the stupid bastard allowed into his flat to tattooo him in front of my fucking children, but it wasn't actually him.

But right now, I don't want them to EVER go to his flat again

hmm, so he really knew how bad it was when he didn't even tell his GF. yep. i think you are right to take back the reigns on the visiting/overnights stays etc. i think he needs to do alot of work to prove he is capable of making good decisions and also, and more importantly, telling you when bad stuff does happen. and i would lay my cards on the table with that one. he needs to be under no illusions that you have lost all trust and that the only way for him to get that backis to be totally honest with you about everything to do with the dcs. i also have an ex who would see his own mum in a grave if it saved him taking an ear bashing. thankfully he seems to be realising, eventually, that honesty is my only policy and anything else gets the big EH EH (the sound off family fortunes)

okay, yes, it wasn't him. but how did ex respond at the time?

I think it speaks volumes that my boyfriend has offered to take a day's holiday and come 40 miles to take ds1 for this test (he lives 40 miles away) and ex, who lives a 4 minute walk from the doctors, hasn't even MENTIONED it.

i#'m afraid it does. i would be so upset. sorry colditz, it's not that i am wanting to poison you against ex at all, but this is a real red card against his ability to parent children responsibly.

yep, it really does. he is very much "head in teh sand" isn't he? i get the feeling that he is the sort of man things happen to rather than him ever pro-actively doing or preventing?

I don't know. He's shut down when it comes to things like "Well, how did you react? How did you feel? Why didn't you X?"

I think most of the evidence points to his own asd to be honest. he respons so similarly to ds1 it's uncanny.

Oh god yes, Boohyoo, things have happened TOO him all his fucking life.

I remember saying to him "The bank has not done this to you, you have done it to yourself."

ha. i used to serve the very same people in the bank where i worked!! the bank made them go overdrawn. the bank gave them poor credit rating. etc etc.

He thinks that things that happen cannot be stopped. they just happen. he doesn't seem to have any idea that you can say to someone "Don't do that" - and they probably won't.

Which is why I want them in MY house and I want his girlfriend (who, sadly, I trust rather more, despite her being 23 to his 37) with him or he's NOT HAVING THEM>

i totally agree with you there. at least, you do trust her. i feel the same about dcs going to their nanny's for contact. i trust her to take care of them and make sensible decisions but not EXp (as my other thread proves)

Thinking of you this morning colditz.

Me too colditz. I keep thinking about Tattoo Twunt and how insane what he did was. Your DP sounds lovely and I think you should get the bloods out of the way (sure they will be fine) and then ask your ex to stop fucking around and get you TT's number. He must have a contact otherwise how did TT know to come to his house with a tattoo gun.

And once that is all said and done, Ex should pay for laser removal if that is what you want.

Still

for you. Oh I'd have to be kept well away from that bastard!!

Hope he's found and the police take this very seriously. I'd be going to the local paper tbh and having him found. Or even the nationals. What if he does this again?

Bloody hell, just seen this.

Aside from the fact the child is now marked for life (unless it's lasered off) it could have bloody hurt him!! :(

And I can't imagine lasering will be too comfortable either.

I did think this was a 'now I've got your attention' thread when I saw the title.

So sorry it isn't Cold. :(

Oh and no way would I trust you ex again. Too fucking laid back IMO.

I would say that your ex knows a bit more about tattoo tony than he's letting on.
How did he get hold of this Tony to get his own tattooo done? How did he get hold of Tony to give him his address to come and do the tattoo?
He must have either a phone number or a friend who is in contact with this Tony.
You dont invite a guy to your own house to do a tattoo on you that you have never contacted before or know how to get hold of....

What if your ex wanted another tattoo? Bet he'd be able to get hold of Tony then...

I'm so sorry for you, colditz. How awful.

Christ. I'm not surprised you are furious.
What an absoluter fucker to tattoo a child even with a little dot.
Your ex's reaction leaves me gobsmaked tbh. I expected to read that he had belted Tattoo Tony, not that he just shrugged and went about his business. His gf does sound useful though - can you and she join forces to put pressure on your ex to reveal Twunting Tony's mobile number?

I'm so sorry to hear htis colditz
I'm huggin you

and I'll hold the fuckers eyelids open while you tattoo his fucking eyeballs

Colditz, I am in Leicester and friend of the family is a tattoist, want me to get her to sniff around??

So sorry this has happened to you and your DS. Although ex did not do this to your DS, his lack of appreciation to how serious it could be/is is very worrying.

Could this be him? here

Possible that this goes to my fb profile, will get deleted if need be.