I need some witty comebacks for tomorrow

[worrywilma]

Hi girls, we have a large family party tomorrow night and the inevitable questions of "when are you having a baby" will start from some.

My usual response is "and be a teen mum! I don't think so!" But this is getting a bit boring now I'm 36.....

I was thinking along the lines of "oh we only do anal" but MIL might be horrified by that one.

What's your favorite comeback when you get the grilling that I can pinch?

@quisensoucie it's yours!

<smiling in a confused manner>
"I always find that a strangely intrusive question to ask" and ask them or someone else in the conversation a totally unrelated question like "any new year's resolutions?"

Then if they persist, follow up with the "why are you asking me?"

"When are you getting a horse?"

It is a rude and potentially upsetting question to ask. My cousin got married age 32 and finally they had a baby ten years later, much longed for. At no point did I ever ask when they were having kids. I didn't know if they were trying or had decided not to or what. And I certainly won't be asking "Aren't you having any more?" I think I first got asked that when DD1 was a few months old, bloody hell.

My parents got married when my DM was 22 and DF was 25 in the 1960s and had me (and only me) in the 1970s when they were 35 and 38. I can't imagine how much they were badgered about it.

Ex and I had mutual agreement not to have DC (which was a lucky decision 🙄) A colleague saw fit to ask me SIX WEEKS after the wedding 'not started a family yet then?' and in the middle of the office, at that.

OP I feel your pain! Before every meet up with friends and family DH and I decide which come back we’re going to use, depending on who it is. At the moment we say ‘we don’t know if that’s on the cards for us’ - makes things awkward enough! The “why would you ask us that” is brilliant- I’ll be using that!

'I can't, it would violate the terms and conditions of my parole'.

I know the OPs already dealt with this but I think 'comebacks' are not the best way to deal with intrusive questions. I think you need to be more straightforward. You can be polite but anything other than being straightforward is a mistake in my book.

I'd say something along the lines of
"Hmm, that question again , just to let you know that I don't like being asked that question and I would prefer it if you didn't ask it me again. Thank you"

You can add in an explanation as to why you don't want to be asked if you want.

"Just to let you know that I don't like being asked that question, I find it annoying/rude/intrusive/upsetting/boring/inappropriate (whichever applies)"

"have you got any other intrusive or insensitive questions to ask me?"

Please tell me you have actually used this line.

Just tell them they need to be careful asking questions like that because you don't know if people are having fertility issues or had a miscarriage. It's a personal question which could ruin a party

Love this.

Hahahahaha brilliant!