How often do you go out?

[Strugglingcareer]

A bit random, but I always wonder what others do. How often do you go out with friends, to classes, out with partner etc on a typical month? For context, I am 30, full-on career, long term partner.

Catsmere

says someone who specifically chooses 'mumsnet' as a forum to post on, gets a forum subtopic and then says it's not fair, that (those who have children regardless of them being childless for 20 plus years or now having no kids at home) others are posting on mumsnet. giving their valid points about their personal experiences of going out when there are no kids at home ....spot the irony here ?

I'm sure that made sense when you pressed post.

Didn’t realise this would start such a fight about this board! Useful contributions from lots of people though, seems to be pretty common it’s variable with people often meeting with friends once a week or so 😊

I’ve realised that I’ve stopped bothering commenting on threads here because they just turn into the exact same thing - us being argued with about what the board is for.

Might as well not have one for all the good the disclaimer has done.

One poster in the last couple of pages being an especially egregious example of that by deliberately trying to stir.

For the record I’m childfree and I think if someone has adult DC and would like to contribute to a topic such as this, what’s the problem?

if they were joining in on a discussion about something sensitive like someone being infertile/not wanting kids with a statement such as “You will never know a love like the one you feel for a child blah, blah….”, then yeah; I can see why there’d be a problem. However this discussion is fairly innocuous and can relate to a childfree person of adult DCs as much as it can a totally childfree person.
it just kind of ruins the threads when people start taking swipes at people.

However this discussion is fairly innocuous and can relate to a childfree person of adult DCs as much as it can a totally childfree person

Adult parents of DC aren't childfree - they have children. This is the board for people who don't have them in any way, shape or form, whether that's from choice or not.

As I have previously explained, @Mummysgogetter parents of adult DC often socialise with them on a regular basis, a 'going ou't avenue not available to the childfree, so including them will skew the OP's numbers.

It's a free world and if parents want to add to a conversation (that is not deliberately inflammatory) then why not?

I'm sure everyone would be up in arms if we (us childfree) went to reply to a post on a discussion on one of the other boards and was told "you shouldn't be here - you don't have children!!" can you imagine the uproar!

Like I said, I don't have children myself and am very unlikely to now (I'm 45) but I just feel like it is petty to say that a person with adult DC cannot add to a thread such as this. Live and let live, you know?!

They don't see their kids though. So what's the difference in this scenario?

I'm sure everyone would be up in arms if we (us childfree) went to reply to a post on a discussion on one of the other boards and was told "you shouldn't be here - you don't have children!!" can you imagine the uproar!

Ironically this was one of the reasons that we sought our own board - because this happens all the bloody time.

It's not that parents can't post. Many do and they don't get jumped on. The ones who do tend to be the ones that post in a way that's irrelevant to the topic at hand and then start to argue that they're entitled to post there anyway because those who the board is for don't understand what "childfree" means, or that parents are welcome to post on any board on MN, or or or XYZ.

The equivalent would be a childfree person posting on a thread asking about, say, frequency of night wakings with a young infant and saying "I don't have kids but I'm a light sleeper and I'm up 4 or 5 times."

Their circumstances may be similar - both wake up multiple times a night - but the poster is clearly trying to discuss their experience with parenting and seek data from other people who've been in that situation.

If a childfree person did that and then complained when people pointed out that their experience wasn't relevant, I'd tell them that those people were completely right to do so.

You just don't get it. You aren't childfree. You have children. You went through the period of your social life being curtailed. Childfree never have.

They don't see their kids though. So what's the difference in this scenario?

Because whether or not they see them, they still have children.

Weird that people work adult kids don't see their children. I see my mum

How does that make any difference to how they spend their time?

I can only conclude you're being deliberately obtuse. Not engaging further.

Because this thread asked people without any children at all how often they went out. If people with adult children answer, they corrupt the data seen by the OP; she doesn't want parents' answers.

Because 20 years of planning your life around children may affect how you spend time after they've flown the nest. You might have got used to going out less and so stay in a lot or you might conversely decide to make up for lost time by going out loads.

Because, unless you are estranged from your grown-up children, you are going to spend time with them.

I’ll get this vaguely back on topic. ;-)

I go out for a serious pub/club/drinking session probably once a month.

I go on dates with someone new probably twice a month.

I socialize with people I’m dating probably once or twice a week on average.

Gym three times a week, but not classes.

I also probably volunteer for the charity I work for once a month on average.

38, full time career and I have a side hustle. :-) I’ve only lived in the area a year so most of my non-dating socializing is with friends I’ve made through work.

"they corrupt the data seen by the OP"

Oh dear. It's not a scientific survey. If OP wants 'data' this is not the place. This place is for discussion.

Not everyone stays in their home area forever.
Also in many families seeing your parents is a visit home and not going out together.

"I'm sure everyone would be up in arms if we (us childfree) went to reply to a post on a discussion on one of the other boards and was told "you shouldn't be here - you don't have children!!" can you imagine the uproar!

Ironically this was one of the reasons that we sought our own board - because this happens all the bloody time."

Don't exaggerate. It happens occasionally and usually a parent on the thread will defend the non-parent.

Married, no children. Gym or swimming three times a week. Meet group of friends for coffee once a month, friend for lunch once a month. Go out fora meal withDH once in a while. Walk neighbours’ dogs and end up in dog friendly coffee shop. Have friends round for dinner or drinks and nibbles once a month. We tend to go away for weekends/ short breaks quite often so we don’t go out together that much when at home.

Very disappointed that yet another thread has degenerated into an argument about who this board is meant for

Very disappointed that yet another thread has degenerated into an argument about who this board is meant for

Not to mention the ploppers who take it on themselves to correct and instruct those of us here from the beginning.

I'm sure everyone would be up in arms if we (us childfree) went to reply to a post on a discussion on one of the other boards and was told "you shouldn't be here - you don't have children!!" can you imagine the uproar!

I never post on the boards that are specifically about parenting. However if someone posts a thread to do with parenting in AIBU or Chat, and I think I have something relevant to contribute based on my own experience of being a child/teen/adult child, then I may do. That’s not the same as a parent posting on a board specifically for people without children, on a subject specifically concerning life without children.

I try and just report them now without responding - keep hoping that if MN has to deal with it they’ll reconsider the decision to leave the board on active.