Page 10 | Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

derekdied · 2023-07-09T17:54:21+00:00

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

GerbilsForever24 · 13/07/2023 15:44

@KStockHERO While I do like christmas with children, now that I actually have a house and a life and can make good drinks and food, I fantasise about a christmas cocktail party. Hosted by me. Fancy drinks. Delicious nibbles. Sophisticated outfits.... no children....!

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 13/07/2023 15:57

KStockHERO · 13/07/2023 15:42

@GerbilsForever24 I've had a few Christmas-based comments too. Me and DP go all-out at Christmas - tonnes of presents, loads of food and drink, massive tree, whole house decorated, Christmas clothes, home-made wreath, mulled wine at every opportunity, the list goes on.
Lots of people are totally baffled by this and/or assume we have a stream of guests with children in tow over the festive period. Nope. It's just me and DP.

Child-free people don't just sit in bare, un-decorated rooms sipping lemon water and nibbling on rice crackers waiting for January to roll around, you know!?

Christmas with children sounds absolutely awful and horrendous to me 😂

I go all out at Christmas food wise - game from M&S, decent wine, nibbles in the fridge, good cheese, treats from Fortnums... all for me. Love it. About time I started a list, now I come to think of it.

mumofds's · 13/07/2023 16:03

I do already have 2Ds..... But now my problem is that I always get told you are still young have more kids you may be lucky and have a girl next time 🙄 My answer no I will not have more children I am happy with my sons and it doesn't matter what sex they are I still have to raise them to the best of my ability I get a lot of raised eyebrows at this also people don't know I was in my early 20s having 2Ds and it was bloody hard my mental health turned bad and I lost many years of my career finally they are bigger and I have my carer back I'm happy why would I want to change that..

I don't understand why people think they can comment on somebody else's life my only reasoning is they are jealous or unhappy themselves.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 13/07/2023 16:04

Not exactly the same as being childfree, is it?

mumofds's · 13/07/2023 16:06

No it's not you are right but my main point is why do people think they can comment on other peoples lives based on a decision they made as a family

KStockHERO · 13/07/2023 16:15

mumofds's · 13/07/2023 16:06

No it's not you are right but my main point is why do people think they can comment on other peoples lives based on a decision they made as a family

But that's not the point of the thread, or the board.

The point of the thread is about comments made to child-free women. You are not a child-free woman.

Yes, there's an interesting point to be made about how much people think its okay to comment on women's reproductive choices.
But comments on mothers' choices around the age at which they have children, the number of children and/or the spacing between children are in no way analogous to the comments about child-free women's choices not to have children at all.

KStockHERO · 13/07/2023 16:16

KStockHERO · 13/07/2023 16:15

But that's not the point of the thread, or the board.

The point of the thread is about comments made to child-free women. You are not a child-free woman.

Yes, there's an interesting point to be made about how much people think its okay to comment on women's reproductive choices.
But comments on mothers' choices around the age at which they have children, the number of children and/or the spacing between children are in no way analogous to the comments about child-free women's choices not to have children at all.

Show quote history

Posted too soon.

So meant to say that those reflections are interesting and valuable. But this thread/board is not the place for them.

musixa · 13/07/2023 17:48

GerbilsForever24 · 12/07/2023 17:10

I can't quite remember the details because the comment wasn't made to me (I was childfree at the time but young, so not getting the pressure to have children) but someone in the office made some ridiculous comment like: "Christmas without children is just a bit pointless really, isn't it?" From memory, I was outraged for myself too just from a general perspective because I love Christmas but I imagine the actual recipient of the comment was very upset!

Every single time I see one of those memes about "you don't know true love until you're a parent" I immediately realise that whoever posted it is someone I don't want to be friends with. I'm pleased to say that one hasn't popped up on my Facebook for YEARS.

I've seen plenty of posts on here to the effect that both Christmas and birthdays are 'for the children'.

Nope. They are for everyone who wants to celebrate them.

LoobyDop · 13/07/2023 20:15

Catchasingmewithspiders · 11/07/2023 17:24

I got told on MN that as a woman without a child my life was inherently worth less than a parents life, and in a situation where it came down to me dying vs a parent dying (think hostage situation or lack of donor organs) that I should be willing to volunteer to die because I am inherently less worthy

On the feminism board

Because all women are equal but some women are more equal than others

I think I remember that thread. I’ve had “unnatural” and “not a real woman”, but this is worse than those. Repulsive.

Catsmere · 13/07/2023 22:45

KimberleyClark · 13/07/2023 15:25

Not just in the workplace either

https://www.independent.co.uk/travel/news-and-advice/woman-plane-switch-seats-mother-tiktok-b2374359.html

Show quote history

What kind of halfwit books a flight with her kids but doesn't book seats together in advance? And then just taking someone else's seat and just expecting them to be fine with that??? Good on Ms Nelson for getting her seat back.

Lykkeli · 13/07/2023 23:03

So if 'Christmas is for children only' are our parents not allowed to celebrate either with us, even though we're their children?

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 13/07/2023 23:08

No such thing as Christmas in my house. That's one of the joys of not being saddled with kids - you don't have to bother with crap like Christmas just for their sake.

Wanttomove3000 · 13/07/2023 23:14

Yeah I’m not gonna lie, I hate Christmas, I’m an atheist and hate the consumerism as well as being forced to eat roast dinner spend time with in-laws! Much prefer New Year as the “new year new me” mantra is one I can get behind, rather than whatever Xmas is meant to be about - family and Jesus? I frequently dream of just going abroad and sacking it off. But at least we have that option, with kids we’d have to do elf on the shelf/advent calendars/buy loads of stuff and actively participate. This way I can ignore it until the 23rd and then go back to work on the 27th 😁

Catsmere · 13/07/2023 23:35

Lykkeli · 13/07/2023 23:03

So if 'Christmas is for children only' are our parents not allowed to celebrate either with us, even though we're their children?

And presumably the retirement villages where I live isn't allowed to put up decorations or have any sort of Christmas dinner for the residents.

Catsmere · 13/07/2023 23:36

Village, not villages, ffs!

Catsmere · 13/07/2023 23:40

I lost interest in Christmas decades ago. Used to decorate etc but when my mother and I moved into a house with no room for a tree, and eventually had five cats, putting up decorations wasn't feasible. Most we did was have dinner with my sister and BiL, something I'm glad we can't do now (they live interstate) because my sister watches Love, Actually every year and I loathe that film.

Cymbal · 14/07/2023 08:08

A transwoman told me on here that his infertility was sadder than mine because at least I had a womb. He was a father.

A good friend recently did the tiredness thing. I was having a bad day and it really upset me. Thankfully she apologised with good grace.

Lykkeli · 14/07/2023 08:17

I really hate all this 'well I've got it worse' that people do. I feel like saying 'Good, I'm glad I'll never feel as tired as you do then.'

Lykkeli · 14/07/2023 08:18

Honestly with the number of people who say they regret having kids, I think a lot of this comes from jealousy and resentment, many of them didn't feel they were able to make the choice as they see having children as something ingrained in society that people do.

JorisBonson · 14/07/2023 08:19

I love Christmas 😄 I go all out with it. DH and I are having the whole day on our own this year for the first time. We've only ever spent 2 Christmases together thanks to shift work. Lots of champagne and seafood and dinner out!

Lykkeli · 14/07/2023 08:22

It's the bog standard life, 'have fun' in your 20s, settle down around 30, the wedding, then the first baby shortly after, followed by the second one at some point, the house purchase of the 'forever home' preferably a new build, the dog, then there you go, your family is 'complete'.

TodayInahurry · 14/07/2023 08:36

No one has ever said anything to me about my lack of children. Where I keep my horse only one of the older females has had children. The rest of us are childfree

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 14/07/2023 09:09

Lykkeli · 14/07/2023 08:22

It's the bog standard life, 'have fun' in your 20s, settle down around 30, the wedding, then the first baby shortly after, followed by the second one at some point, the house purchase of the 'forever home' preferably a new build, the dog, then there you go, your family is 'complete'.

And if that's how people want to live their life I'm the last person to point the finger and say they shouldn't. What gripes me is the inability of people to understand that not everyone wants to live in the same way and do the same things as they do. I think that the people who make the comments are sometimes not as secure and happy in their life choices as they make out and take any deviation from their norm as an implied criticism of those choices.

Flanksteak · 14/07/2023 09:13

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 14/07/2023 09:09

And if that's how people want to live their life I'm the last person to point the finger and say they shouldn't. What gripes me is the inability of people to understand that not everyone wants to live in the same way and do the same things as they do. I think that the people who make the comments are sometimes not as secure and happy in their life choices as they make out and take any deviation from their norm as an implied criticism of those choices.

Show quote history

I agree with this. People who have different jobs than I do never try and convince me I should have that job. People with bob haircuts never go on and on about how I should just try having a bob. It’s just this one thing! My friends, family and colleagues who have children and love being a parent doing do it though, they couldn’t talk about being a parent in more glowing terms but for them, they always say I/other childfree people we both know have made the right choice for us. But the people who complain the most and tell women who haven’t got children yet but are planning to have them/trying how awful it is tell me I have to have children…

KimberleyClark · 14/07/2023 09:15

DH and I love Christmas too. We always spent it with our parents, but when they were all gone it was like we had to reinvent it for ourselves. I love it now it’s just the two of us.