Mindee that doesn't play on her own?

[chloejessmeg]

I only have 1 mindee and only for 9 hours a week, who is in full time reception. But the hours she is here, she wants me to sit and play with her the whole time, and won't sit and do anything by herself. I am not saying I want her to completly entertain herself while she is here, but I have my DD who is 1year old and soon a newborn so she needs to be able to do something. She likes to do stuff like drawing, playdough, pictures etc but won't do it unless I am sitting with her, doing the activity with her which isn't always possible. If I am dealing with my DD she just keeps asking me to do x with her, or says she needs help with stuff I know she can do on her own, and won't do anything even for 2 mins. I bought her lots of stuff in the sales to try and keep her busy, but nope, still won't do it on her own. I think she will be better if/when I get another mindee of similar age but I am only getting enquiries for babies and I don't have an under 1 space.

Has anybody else had this problem and how do you deal with it?

sorry just read bubbles99. What a horrible
post about cms.

I have had my lovely mindees today from 8 till 5.30..
We have attended a play meeting, played with glue, playdoh, sand and water, we danced and sang and still had time to wrap up warm and feed the ducks, we had cozy cuddles with warm toast and a blanket and lots of stories... dont judge us by your own child care standards in some nursery, ... oh and by the way ofsted can call on us unnanounced as well..
Most cms are child care professionals who strive to do an excellent job for their mindees and care deeply for them...

I use the time on the way home from school to talk about my mindees day, often he doesn't want to share it but he has the opportunity. I also would suggest putting aside 10mins to go through her reading book. Explain clearly that she is a big girl and should be able to find an activity (providing she is familiar with where things are and accessible). Explain what will happen when i.e me. When we get home we will have snack, I want you to get changed before we do anything. While having snack I say right after snack you can draw, paint, glue, colour in, play a game, play doh, do jigsaws and then when I start dinner you will have to play nicely without me. Be firm and answer the request explaining that you have to do x before playing and that she needs to have a try herself. I have been known to ask if they would be more bored sat on their own in the hallway (time out) as loitering and sulking are a variation on tantrums iyswim. Normally they go and get on with it. HTH as it is frustrating. How long have you been her CM?

as i said so we agree, children form the closest bond with parents and not the cm or nursery carer..

As for the maternal instinct, My dd is having a sleepover on Saturday, 4 9year olds..if fire rages I will save them all or die trying... thats what I would expect another mum to do for my kids...not grab their own and run for it..

Here here the body!
Today I went to a dancing group for tots, had lunch, then we had stories when my mindee was home. Only have my 2 during school hours at the mo so both go to bed in the afternoon, or we would be doing stuff then too.

thanks Dilldaydreamer,
just makes you want to scream or cry sometimes,the amount of crap and hearsay about cms. Why would anybody assume we dont care about our jobs as much as the next child care professional...so sad..

In a fire, I would save my children first if they were in immediate danger, then save others. I did not say I would run. But I would prioritise my own, all things being equal.

For me I sometimes feel that I am far harsher on my own dd(3) than my mindee (4.5) There levels of expected responsibility should be different i.e. I should expect my dd not to be able to concentrate on her own for long and should expect my mindee to concentrate for longer than her. It isn't so. My dd often gets left with a jigsaw while I cook tea and is asked to play with her sister to entertain her if I need to do something- because I have expectations she is capable of this. If you don't have high expectations how do they learn any responsibility?
Mindee doesn't listen to instructions because his parents have done so much for him, consequently he still can't cut with a knife! I expect my 3yo to attempt to use a knife and to always use her fork instead of fingers as appropriate, mindee on first day proceeded to eat with fingers without any attempt with cutlery His confidence is low because children like praise for doing well and being productive, just as adults do.

With EYFS all childcare provision have the same goals, administration and are accountable to OFSTED. There are satisfactory nurseries and outstanding CMs and vice versa. I know good and bad examples in both categories.

In case of a fire I would call fireman sam and I would never be a childminder for that naughty Norman that's for sure!

spooky, I always fancied Fireman Sam myself, far hotter than Postman Pat...

Yes agree, but to be fair to PP I think he would make a better CM than FS. Just my gut instinct.

well he does have a helicopter now but always suspected he batted for the same side... FS always flirted with naughty normans mum, and who was the father aye, not Elvis... oh dear i think i need a large pino.... and a life..

i cant believe some off the comments early on in this thread and am glad u lot made lite of it now god im a c.m. an have 4 kids of my own 8,6,5,20 monthes so im really fooked at lookin after mindees then arnt i and as for putting my kids 2nd best dont think so all the kids in my care r equal and i teach them the house rules that apply to every one and they all follow our routine ie meal time ,play,time tidy up time ,what activties we do and i see to the childrens needs ie nappy changes as and when and every one just has to wait there turn i see all the kids as if they were mine they r that comfy at my house that they dont wan t to go home thats as they r having to much fun .all my mums know that i have 4 kids and love the fact that there kids r getting the family feel as the r the only children .so anyone who feels they can judge us cm. well just stay at home and look after your own kids at least u know its to your standard. we dont do this job for people like u. we do it for the love of children and to be at home to see ours grow up .

to cloejessmeg keep at it wit yuor mindee a littl at a time gradully leaving her to do things by self for longer periods ive a mindee at5 in the holidays and she sounds just like yours she wants to constantly eat all the time and chop and change activties im just fair but firm and follow through with what u say she soon gets in to the routine as for ideas ask her what she want to do and sit on the floor and do it then once u have started it jut say to her in a min im going to go and get ds bottle ,then reapeat it a few times over 10 mins then do it but com back and sit at the side of her then each time u do this with her sit a little further away and stay away longer graduly u should build up longer space so she learns hope this helps good luk ..and egnor all the busybodys..lol

Thank you missymoo, I have started to ignore the unhelpful posts now and not take it to heart. Well said about CM though.

Sorry, that didn't make sence as I forgot I had name changed for another thread. I am CMJ though (OP) which is why I was saying thank you!

missymoo you say :'.so anyone who feels they can judge us cm. well just stay at home and look after your own kids at least u know its to your standard. we dont do this job for people like u. we do it for the love of children and to be at home to see ours grow up .'

I'm afraid I have to comment on what you have said. You seem to imply that those parents who choose to work outside of the home should not be able to comment on the standard of care their children are receiving. Wel, I'm sorry but that is rubbish. If I disagree with something my CM has done (and I never have), then I will tell her. I wouldn't expect her response to be, 'well stay at homeand look after them yourself then.' That is quite a shocking attitude from a supposed professional.

I also take umbridge at the part about CMs choosing to stay at home to 'see ours grow up.' I must say that I work/study FT and I still see my children growing up- I have just chosen a different employment path to yours.

For what it's worth, as I have stayed out of this so far, I was reluctant to use a CM at first, as I believed my children would be safer in an environment with many adults around. However, I have chosen a fantastic CM who does so much with the children, in an immaculate yet homely environment, and still finds time to give them cuddles and kisses. She is a star! I have a lot of experience of childcare- private nursery, pre school, childminder, au pair and nursery attached to a school, and realise that any of these can be staffed badly- THAT is what makes the difference, not the type of childcare per se.

OP/CMJ/PaP: i have not made any comments but you have my "virtual" support for what it's worth! I have been lurking and am mortified by the roasting you have received.

hope you're okay

Thanks numberfour.

If I went to visit a childminder and they said that their own children came second to the mindees, I would def steer clear of them. Sorry but how awful must it be for a CM's child to know that the mindees come before them because mummy gets paid for those ones?

cup of t my children went to private nursery too as i did work,and i had the same thoughts as u about not leaving my kids with a cm . before studying then becomming a cm. you have your right to say what u want .i agree that parents and cm work together as i do with mine what i wrote was in general to all those bad comment to cloejessmeg as i think they were bang out of order as she was only asking for advice not critism. its a hard job a some people think of us as baby sitters or that we dont do a proper job when we do and its a privlidge to be able to look after other parents kids and be at home.u have yr right to your comments and so do i and what i write on here i comming from me as a mum and then a cm And as a cm we r always told that ALL childrens needs come first i see u only pick up on the negative stuff what about all the rest and the comment about stay at home then u know yr own standards was comment as a mum and i wouldnt say that to a mindees parent as afterall im off duty at this time off night .

chloejess mum let me know how it goes ( oh and im still off duty its a saturday night ...lol)

jesus christ

you are a childminder

you are supposed to be looking after her

you are paid to do this

thank god you are not looking after my children

poor lamb.

Don't be ridiculous Eniddo! Anyone who cares more more than one child at a time can't possibly give each child constant, undivided attention - that's the same whether it's a CM, nursery, school, nanny with more than one charge, mother of more than one child. Expecting a 4 year old to play independently for a few minutes while you see to other children is quite reasonable.

What a bizarre thread.

well don't be a frigging childminder then

why on earth BE one if you are about to have 2 children under 18 months