Mindee that doesn't play on her own?

[chloejessmeg]

I only have 1 mindee and only for 9 hours a week, who is in full time reception. But the hours she is here, she wants me to sit and play with her the whole time, and won't sit and do anything by herself. I am not saying I want her to completly entertain herself while she is here, but I have my DD who is 1year old and soon a newborn so she needs to be able to do something. She likes to do stuff like drawing, playdough, pictures etc but won't do it unless I am sitting with her, doing the activity with her which isn't always possible. If I am dealing with my DD she just keeps asking me to do x with her, or says she needs help with stuff I know she can do on her own, and won't do anything even for 2 mins. I bought her lots of stuff in the sales to try and keep her busy, but nope, still won't do it on her own. I think she will be better if/when I get another mindee of similar age but I am only getting enquiries for babies and I don't have an under 1 space.

Has anybody else had this problem and how do you deal with it?

well said dillydaydreamer ..

Oh my goodness chloe., are you still getting grief...
As a mum and a cm I think its normal for a 5 year old to be able to amuse herself for quite a long stretch of time..
Think we need to remember that its only recently that adults seem to have hyjacked childrens leisure times. some of the poor little dears my daughters age(9) have an activity every day of the week. You only have to go out for a meal today to see children who are loud, attention seeking and cant sit down and eat quietly as their parents struggle to control them.
You are being paid as a cm to keep her safe, warm and obviously offering her lots to do. Its just as important to let her know that she has to sometimes wait and share your attention with others.
That lesson is just as important to her social education as any art and crafts activity.

Thank you, last few posts.

I have just looked through this thread again and TBH just have to laugh at some of the responses. It is rediculous IMO and TBH it is actually making me consider leaving mumsnet, if I can't use it for some simple advice then what is the point? And if the Mums on here think that a child is not being looked after properly because you occasionally need to take 2 mins to do something with another child, then I am not sure that these are the best people to be talking to anyway.

But then again there has also been some useful posters, thank you for that.

chloe I just read through this thread again as couldn't work out how much advice you could give for yoru situation - and I am shocked and saddened by the crap you've got. You asked a perfectly reasonable question, and some people gave you perfectly helpful advice. As for the rest of em - they are enough to make you want to turn back on mumsnet - jeez if this is how other women show support - sod em!

Its made me feel quite sick to the stomach actually

Exactly

Dont leave us normal ones Chloejessmeg!!! we need you girl....

oh don't go chloe

this has been one of the worst examples of a thread gone bad that I have seem.

Being were literally talking out of their arses. They have no understanding of how brilliant a good childminder is and seem to have absolutely ridiculous ideas of nurseries and Nannies. And have totally unreasonahle expectaions of what a childminder should do.

I would love to see some of that lot at work. I'm sure they never take a break, go to the loo etc.

You sound like you do your job brilliantly.

please stay

Thanks for the encouragement. See the problem is, although I have since started other threads and got helpful advice, I am constantly watching what I say and can't actully have the full conversation that I could if I was being more open. But since being jumped on so much in this thread, I don't feel I can talk opening on MN about childminding anymore. It is a shame but there are lots of other forums that this would have never happened on.

Don't take it too much to heart, CMJ. On the internet people can see things that aren't actually there in RL, because they aren't looking at the whole picture. I told a couple of people in RL that I was thought of as an introvert due to what I said on this thread and they laughed loudly! But you have to accept that posters are only seeing one side of you on here. I really wouldn't let it get to you!

Chloe, ignore them and always be yourself. I honestly think lots of people dont realise how hurtful they have been, and they know who they are.. stay

Easier said than done though.

dont let the loonies take over the asylum....

Chloe,

It is obvious that some of the comments have been a deliberate attempt to hurt your feelings and give this thread an argumentative tone.

The fact you have entertained it for so long is probably your biggest mistake but I understand why you have continued to post, considering how personal these comments have been.

Move on, and like you say get you advise and support else where. Good luck!

I know, I kept thinking that I should stop posting, but it is hard when people male false accusations, not to defend yourself.

hi chloe, i've read a few of my replies, and i think people never know quite what its like untill they are in the situation. my mindee is 4. i have her for 6 hours a day, and she wont play on her own. she follows me if i leave the room crys if i go to toilet, it can be quite annoying! i've found the tv works i sit with her for 5 mins then quietly sneek out to do the washing up, although i dont leave it on for more than 30 mins an its usually at the end of the day. or really explaining where i'm going e.g 'i'm going upstairs because i really need the toilet. i'm leaving the living room stairgate open and the playroom door open but i'm closing this gate as i dont want you to go upstairs.' this is usally followed by a 'why are you going to the toilet', so its, 'because i really need to go', and a conversation about what happands when people dont use the toilet, about 20-30 mins later shes usually happy for me to go!
also if i'm washing up i give her a bowl on the counter next to me and washes up the (clean) plastic plates and cups. if i'm sweeping the floor after an activity i let her play with warm water in the sink. quite often we have a teddybears picnic, shes happy to talk to teddybears and i can sneek out.
with your baby i would suggest letting her 'help' you getting her to hand you clean nappies and clothes, let her watch you put your child to bed, that type of thing.
i have to say nothing i do during the day are things that can be left, its usually things like sweeping the floor after a playdouh or cutting and sticking activity, washing up, making dinner, sorting out her bag to go home. things that i feel are esential fpr her to play in a clean environment.
i hope some of this helps.

Thank you - that is really helpful. She sounds exactly like my mindee.