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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

God, my au pair/mother's help just kicked my 5 year old!

346 replies

kittywise · 10/12/2008 09:43

Obviously I've told her she has to leave today. I'm so pissed off . Just needed to vent

OP posts:
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Cicatrice · 10/12/2008 09:52

Good grief, that's terrible. Did she seem nice before, or was she always "wrong".

Cies · 10/12/2008 09:55

Oh god, that's awful. You're so right to get rid.

What was the context?

Lockets · 10/12/2008 09:56

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LilRedWG · 10/12/2008 09:57

Today - I think now this second is more appropriate!

Hope you and DC are okay.

J2O · 10/12/2008 10:00

why?

SammyK · 10/12/2008 10:02

Blimey! That's awful!

hi j20 how the devil are you? (it's KaySamuels BTW)

TrinityRhino · 10/12/2008 10:02

omg what happened?
had she previously made you feel that something wasn't quite right?

Lockets · 10/12/2008 10:02

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kittywise · 10/12/2008 10:20

Well, she has always been a 'lively' character and expected the children to do what she said from the off. She meant well, but i had to explain to her that it takes time to bond with kids, you have to get them on side etc.

Obviously I have told the children that the yare to do what she says, to tret her with respect etc. i have said all of this n front of her so we all know where we stand.

They children have never bonded with her though and this has obviously been a problem for me as i am not getting any respite as the younger ones won't be left with her.

I was rather hoping that these problems would iron themselves out, after all she has only been here for a month.

I was never directly unhappy with her treatment of the children, but there was certainly a gentlness and empathy missing, she was very brash and in your face.

Consequently my middle two dc's have started to play up with her more and more iyswim?

This morning she was meant to be doing teeth, hair etc, getting them ready for school. Dc no 3 (7) came and told me she had just kicked dc no4 (5). I said she must be mistaken and went downstairs to finf aupair and dc 4 shouting at each other. Dc4 was demanding an apology!!

I asked what was going on and aupair said dc had repeatedly kicked her when she was trying to brush her hair and she had warned her that if she kicked again she would kick back, which she did, so there they were kicking each other.

I said as she shouted and ranted that i was not ok that dc had kicked her but that it was absolutely not ok for her to kick a child. that I could no longer trust her etc.

By then i was late for school. she stormed off to her room and I did school run.

When i came back i asked if she was packing and said she had to leave today. She was crying and said she was angry with herself , me and dc's!

i don't in any way condone dc 4's behaviour. She can be feisty, but is generally very kind, loving and obedient.

Still i can't have someone here who kicks my kids can
i.

I have never been comfortable with this au pair, but as I said I hoped it was teething problems, but in all truth
i think she burnt her brides with the kids very early on and once you've done that there's not much hope is there?

excuse typos I one handed typing whilst bf!

OP posts:
TheBlonde · 10/12/2008 10:21

What a nightmare kitty

randomxmas · 10/12/2008 10:23

She should be out of your house immediately & on her way to the airport. Tell her you could report her to the police

NumberFour · 10/12/2008 10:30

Bloody hell! What a morning! you are well rid of her. Even if my son kicked first I would not condone an adult kicking him back!

Hope you are okay now.

kittywise · 10/12/2008 10:33

Thanks all, this will have been the third help that's gone belly up since september!!

All, for different reason I hasten to add!

Now I'm stuck with no help over the xmas period, let's hope someone more suitable comes along soon

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ingles2 · 10/12/2008 10:34

OMG Kitty!
Go and take the key and any other of your possessions off her now. Don't leave her unattended in the house.
You poor thing. you're better off without help like that I promise you.

kittywise · 10/12/2008 10:40

Yes ingles I think I am. She was doing 35 hours per week but I never felt that I was getting 35 hours of help iyswim? mainly to do with the fact that the dc's didn't like being with her.

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DadInsteadofMum · 10/12/2008 11:12

Kicking child = gross misconduct = out of the door immediately

You are quite right.

There are a few kicking around on au pair world looking for immediate starts you might get lucky.

ingles2 · 10/12/2008 11:23

LOL DioM at your use of kicking! Not sure that's what Kitty wants

ThingOne · 10/12/2008 11:35

What a nightmare. Hope she is out of the house by now. What an outrageous thing to do.

JenniPenni · 10/12/2008 11:49

Oh dear Sorry about your plight!!! But she cannot live under your roof if that's how she deals with your kids.

kittywise · 10/12/2008 12:09

She is gone!!

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ingles2 · 10/12/2008 12:10

so, tell us all!!!

blinks · 10/12/2008 12:15

how old was she?

kittywise · 10/12/2008 12:20

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IAteMakkaPakka · 10/12/2008 12:26

"we cannot have a black person again because of the cultural differences as far as child rearing is concerned"

Sorry she kicked your child and everything, but I'm flabberghasted by the above statement. Just because you're a different colour doesn't mean you automatically don't share cultural values with someone.

katherinejane · 10/12/2008 12:40

Blimey - hear hear IAMP! I sympathise too, but I'd seriously consider kicking out your DP as well for being racist!