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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

This is why Childminders must NOT Do favours for New Mums and stick to your own Rules!

170 replies

PeaceNLove · 09/12/2008 20:11

Hi there

(To any mums reading do not take this wrong way as its just something most childminders will face at least once in there carer)

I took on a little boy about 4 weeks ago
his mum pretty much wanted a place the following week.
(Child was with a minder but she needed someone close who could do early mornings i did think it was odd her not giving that minder notice but than didn't pry into it to much)

As for the mindee, he did a settlign in period with his father (whom is a police officer) for a session and was absolutley fine... Child seemed a bit dominating over his father (but nothing ive not seen before)

Anyway we operate a 2 week trial period (which parents can opt out of the contract without notice within that first 2 weeks) this is clearly written on the policy sheet we give out.

I told the mum (As a favour) she can pay the deposit after the 2 week trial. (As for me its easier not to have than to give back)

First week went fine (could tell he was an overly spoilt child) as he was extremly demanding and could throw the biggest wobblers) but never phased us, as its still early days, 2nd week he was off all week sick (in which i had to chase her EVERY day to find out if he was in that day or not)

That pretty much ended the 2 weekt trial period (that the parent can choose to opt out of the contract.)

Anyway he starts his 3rd week (last week) mother did pay for the week he was sick (as parents are contracted to do) and the 3rd week.

Anyway, friday 5th (last fri) comes and parent says she cant pay the deposit etc as she dont get paid to the 15th and asked if we could wait until than to get the fees and deposit.

I Agreed as (I thought the mother was half decent and realise its a hard time or year all round) and said she can pay me for the week and than the remaining on the 15th when she gets paid.
She texted me over the weekend to say thank you and that was great.

Anyway week 4 (this week) dad turned up yesturday to tell me that mum was crying her eyes out that she cannot afford to pay the deposit and 4 weeks fees in advance and is thinking of chucking in her job. I told him to call me after 6pm as i was still working and had kids to deal with at the time. Dad asked what was owing, i explained this weeks fees only as mum was paying the remainder (deposit and following fees in advance) on 15th)

I later agreed with the dad that we could (AGAIN AS A FAVOUR) forget the deposit and they can pay me every 2 weeks and we will review again in new year. (instead of paying every 4 weeks as contracted)

Well Dad arrived early again tonight (Pleasently calm and friendly) telling me he dosen;t know whats going on with mindees mother but she just textedd him and wondered if he could read it to me. I brought him in as i got his son in the buggy and he read a text the mother sent the dad for me, saying that this is the mindees last week as she cannot deal with the early mornings and cannot afford full time childcare, and has spokent o her work who agreed they can change her work load to part time.. (Im propbably one of the cheapest in the area at £30 a day) and that she will be working part time with agreement from her bosses and that she wont be paying notice for her son as shes within her trial period. (HOW SHE WORKS THIS OUT I DONT KNOW)

I explained to the dad this was mindees 4TH WEEK not 2nd or 3rd and that 2 weeks notice is payable. He said ok, he claimed he was confused and didn't really understand what was going on. I told him that if he could get the mum to call me when she gets home id talk with her as she signed up the contracts.

Anyway she texts me the same text she sent the dad, and i replied telling her to call me when she gets in and that it was childs 4th week not 2nd and so now notice is payable.

Got a call about 2 minutes later with a pleasent vunerable lady now AGGRESSIVE and on Total Defense... Telling me that she told the dad to tell me the night before that it was sons last day on monday and that was out of decency to her as she was within her trial period seeing as he was sick the 2nd week.

I asked her how week four can be within 2 weeks trial and she went off on one telling me im the only childminder that wants deposits and fees in advance in the area and even when she called OFSTED they agree its not normal for a minder to charge more than weekly if you have a deposit.

At this point i was really wound up... The first time since ive put my policies inplace have i done a FAVOR for a parent for it to back fire... makes me angry at myself for allowing her to do it to me.

Anyway, she went on about how shes so stressed and how shes only just started up work since maternity leave (the childs 14 months and she already told me he was with another childminder who was with him week before he started with me)

She explained how her and the dad had a big argument last night as he was not meant to pay me this week, as the mum only wanted him to pay for the one day as she did not plan on bringing him back

My overall thoughts are, even though she has done the dirty. For me not sticking to my policies and allowing someone to take my kindness for weekness has reminded me exactly what the paperwork and procedures are there for. Im not there to give favours its a business and i guess its that i have to remember secondry to given the children the best care i possibly can.

She had the nerve to text me to say thank you for the help with her son and that she thinks shes being decent no comment!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
PeaceNLove · 09/12/2008 20:12

maybe reading over my title again its a bit harsh.. sorry, wrote in a momemnt of frustration!

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 09/12/2008 20:16

What an appalling way to treat someone, so sorry that she has taken advantage of you in this way. This is your livelihood.

Pawslikepaddington · 09/12/2008 20:19

Oh god you poor thing! Why do people do this?!!??! If her son had gone to a nursery there would have been a £50 admin fee, a month's fees up front and a deposit! I take it she is getting WTC, which is one h of lot more than any student mums, who only get tax credits (my grant for childcare is still to come through after 4 months!) and she is in a two parent working family-how can she not even stump up a token payment to put you on? It's a hard time for you too, and you are self-employed-it is almost not as bad to do this to a larger organisation as they are more able to deal with one non-payer, but to a self-employed mum-that is awful!

Pawslikepaddington · 09/12/2008 20:20

The title is not harsh-she is in the wrong!

Aitch · 09/12/2008 20:22

absolutely disgraceful, am furious on your behalf.

southernbelle77 · 09/12/2008 20:22

Think the title is pretty accurate! When you have been burned by it you soon learn NEVER to do it again.
Sorry you have been treated so badly.

hollyivypoppy34 · 09/12/2008 20:23

poor yuo - in circs title is very mild mannered

LynetteScavo · 09/12/2008 20:26

Poor you!

How much are you out of pocket?

You certainly have learned not to do any favours the hard way!

compo · 09/12/2008 20:28

sounds like a horris situation

but one of your comments stuck out: 'First week went fine (could tell he was an overly spoilt child) as he was extremly demanding and could throw the biggest wobblers' - I thought the child would be about 4 but reading on saw he is only 14 months!! spolit at 14 months?!

RudolphtherEDDASnosedreindeer · 09/12/2008 20:31

as a mother of a child soon to go to a cm I am at how you get treated by some parents. Some people really do take the piss

HaventSleptForAYear · 09/12/2008 20:32

I am constantly amazed by how badly some people treat their cm/nannies.

Our lovely cm has been badly burnt twice (1400 Euros out of pocket with a "friend" she was doing a favour to) and now does not want to take on any new families EVER.

I am a bit because it means my toddler is on his own with her all day (not with other children for company) but I totally understand.

Sorry for you.

PeaceNLove · 09/12/2008 20:34

Thanks guys..

well 2 weeks notice is owed so 2 weeks fees are £150 a week.

Thing is my mum was up at 6am every morning to let him in (shes a registered childminder too and did the earlys as i dont get to hers untill 8am) so messed her about too.

The mother is not a single mum, she lives with the childs father (she works in central London (and has a good job, from what she told me was quite high up in what she did) she earned to much to get tax credits so its not as if shes that hard off) the dad too is a police officer (had an accident on duty so know (assume) his getting a tidy sum too) as well as still working in police force.

Im just confused as to why she is childminder hop-ing (at least if she had a problem you could say this is why) but she's been overally vocal on how happy she is with him in my care, so has the father (more so, as his always telling me im a lifesave and thanking me)

Oh well.. ive learnt my lesson the hard way i guess..

OP posts:
PeaceNLove · 09/12/2008 20:36

COMPo In reply to your message..

Yes lets say at £3ph we certainly earned every penny.. which when you work so hard and a parent takes the micky it hurts even more.

OP posts:
reindeercantdancethetango · 09/12/2008 20:39

I am furious for you.

Sorry she has done this to you

Coldtits · 09/12/2008 20:43

I see why you're pissed off.

I'm very concerned that you think a 14 month old baby is dominating and spoilt though.

EachPeachPearMum · 09/12/2008 20:43

I cannot understand the attitude of some people- you are doing a professional service for them- what is wrong with them? It is such bad manners.
Tbh- it's not just c/m though- my DD is at nursery, and although I send a cheque every month on the 1st of the month (as is expected) we still have letters prompting parents that fees need to be paid at the beginning of the month- I know some parents still haven't paid by the 3rd week of each month.
How are carers (of any description) supposed to meet their outgoings? Totally unfair imo.

PeaceNLove · 09/12/2008 20:50

coldtits please clarify your concern???

OP posts:
TheOtherMaryPoppinsJingles · 09/12/2008 20:52

PAL - think we've all been there, I know I have, going to have a total rejig of policies and procedures and be very tough on myself to stick to them and not buy any sob stories this year. Lost a months fees this year

Sometimes I hate my profession.

CrackopentheBaileys · 09/12/2008 20:53

I am a cm too, and I have recently been warned of a family that's doing 1 month at a time with cm's and not paying. Sounded like an urban myth to me but after reading your post I'm now not so sure.

It's a real shame, as you will now most likely meet any new family with understandable scepticism. I hope that you get the family you deserve next time

TheCrackFox · 09/12/2008 20:55

How on Earth can a 14 month old be spoilt?

BabyBaby123 · 09/12/2008 21:02

maybe parents don't see their own babies of 14 months as spoilt but believe me, when you have tried childminding for a pittance you may well feel differently. Babies/toddlers can be spoilt and demanding if they are constantly carried around at home

noonki · 09/12/2008 21:05

peacenlove, I would be annoyed at the way she has treated you

but a SPOILT 14 month old? Can you elaborate on that? If a cm suggested to me that a 14 month old baby was spoilt I would think they didnt understand babies very well.

compo · 09/12/2008 21:09

'Yes lets say at £3ph we certainly earned every penny.. '

sorry to be blunt but are you sure c'mnding is what you really want to do? yes it's low paid and a demanding job but surely that is what you already knew?

CharCharGaboriaInExcelsisDeo · 09/12/2008 21:09

Agreeing with all others about spoilt 14 month olds. They don't have enough understanding to be spoilt. Babies and toddlers are demanding, full stop. Whether carried around or not. I do have a lot of sympathy for you though peacenlove, she has treated you terribly.

compo · 09/12/2008 21:10

god why shouldn't a 14 month old be constantly carried about? especially wiht a new childminder?