Fuck fuck fuck nanny has resigned

[PalindromicUser]

I know she absolutely has the right to resign but I’m so cross! It’s been such a difficult year. DD only has another 9 months until she starts school then nanny could look after as many babies as she wants to (she’s taken a job looking after a 5 month old).

I’m also really disappointed she resigned via WhatsApp rather than calling me. I can understand that she wanted to avoid having a potentially difficult conversation but that’s what being a grown up is like, surely?

It will be fine, we will go back to more nursery and wrap around but I just wanted to let of steam with people who know how much I feel left in the lurch! Plus the additional organisational burden will almost certainly fall to me - the nanny was most helpful to me rather than DH and relieved so much of that burden.

Haha the bat!!!!

You manned for years?oh do tell all the delicious & explicit details of your manning

@ssd

I manned for years. Your tone tells me everything I need to know about why she resigned. I suspect she won't be your last nanny.

I hope she's happy in her new job.

Where are you getting this from?

The batshit responses continue!

@SentientAndCognisant

You manned for years?oh do tell all the delicious & explicit details of your manning

Lol at you slagging off my phones auto correct errors when your posts look like they're written by a 5 Yr old.

@Wearywithteens
Haha go back read my post, read it carefully you’re all worked up about heehaw
I’m laughing at the working mum trope, the usual dig at the working mums (op) who are avaricious and work for money, whilst someone has to watch the abandon kids

Well someone had to call you out on all that manning @ssd
Oh and the pomposity of your posts
Plus, someone who LOL really has no manoeuvre to complain about post composition

Keep on manning, as you were

Your DH needs to sort out childcare for two children with a month's notice.

Focus on your paying job. Tell him you sorted child are last time and it's his turn this time.

Sit back.
Leave him to it.

Yes two parents it’s a shared problem

By the way- hope you sort out childcare in a month! It doesn’t leave much time to find another nanny you are sure you want to help look after your children. Nanny agencies are expensive- but as they pre-screen nannies - you might find one you feel comfortable with quicker. If your youngest is pre- school, perhaps a period in nursery would be a good transition? It might help get your routine in order for school?

I sympathise, it's a shame when it doesn't all go the way you pictured, and my nanny was a second mother to my children. I still miss her. But at the end of the day they need a reliable income, and she may just gave come across the perfect fit earlier than planned.

I worked as an au pair and resigned with one week's notice via email leaving the family in a lurch. If we had used WhatsApp I probably would have sent it that way instead.

Here is why: I didn't have a contract telling me how much notice to give, the job wasn't as described (much more work), I had just found something else, the job was about to get worse (school holidays coming up so double the hours with no extra pay), and lastly the parents were seldom around. I sent it via email as I wanted confirmation that they had seen it and there could be no misunderstandings. I didn't feel the family had shown much respect for me (told me I wasn't allowed any time off) so I didn't feel any loyalty towards them. I was also quite young at the time so not much professional experience.

I don't know how much of this will be applicable to your situation but maybe some things to consider.

@ssd

I manned for years. Your tone tells me everything I need to know about why she resigned. I suspect she won't be your last nanny.

I hope she's happy in her new job.

This

I realise my message might have come across as a bit passive aggressive. This wasn't intended, I was just trying to explain what the nanny's reasoning might have been. I do sympathise with your situation OP and you have every right to feel stressed.

This what?You've already had a go at op for working and leaving her children
Quite clearly objective opinion is not your forte when it comes to working mums and resigning nannies

I do understand why you’re annoyed. Your DCs will have built up a bond with your nanny & you will have built up trust. It’s a big thing allowing someone else into your family like that, whether it’s a paid position or not.

Of course you would have hoped she’d stay until DD started school. But maybe she was putting feelers out thinking she would be redundant in a few months anyway? Maybe it all happened quicker than she thought it would?

I understand your annoyance but nobody is in the wrong here.

Of course you can moan on here op. Very annoying I can imagine. Ignore the righteous on here! Hope you get sorted soon.

Gosh OP, not sure why you're getting the full snark on here. It's shit, it may well fall to one parent over the other to deal with the fallout/admin burden (usually guess who) and it's not what you need when you've got lots else on. And resigning via WhatsApp is cowardly.

And yes,

Presumably she saw the writing on the wall as regards her role and decided to secure a new job rather than risk a gap: not unreasonable.

Do you know what, I typed a long message justifying my position.

But what’s the point because you don’t care what I have to say, you know all you need to know about me and my situation. I do not owe any of you an explanation.

I sincerely hope none of you is ever in the position of having your childcare arrangements fall through unexpectedly at short notice.

Totally understandable to want to vent! Whatsapp is not professional, but it may be these things are changing. I would always resign in person but appreciate it’s definitely a difficult conversation.

Op how can we suggest strategies to get your husband to do more, which is a much bigger issue? Mine is contributing to organising summer camp for our eldest, a surprise but he saw the writing on the wall when I said once I’m not arranging Childcare we for when I come off mat leave etc I am going to take a year where holiday care is his problem, he can sort it out and book Programs and some of my time in for it and if he stuffs up he can call work and say I fucked up childcare plans and won’t be in. I may have been too heartfelt saying this is going to be the best year of my life when it comes, since he’s decided to step up now so I can’t justify such drastic steps

Unfortunately it came across that you were cross with your nanny rather than that it was solely down to you to reorganise/interview/rehire etc. which I imagine is a headache you would rather do without. As a pp said, tell your DH that you organised the last childcare arrangement, now it's his turn.

No you don’t owe anyone an apology op, and they're here for the pile on anyway
On mn a working mum with a nanny is always an easy target . And boy did you get it both barrels