As a parent, would you find this too bossy?

[Snap8TheCat]

I'm a well established childminder and when a new family starts with me I provide them with a pack of my policies and procedures and all the forms I need completing.

I'm thinking of adding a page to iron out little niggles that invariably crop up. Things like, please name clothing, don't drop off early without prior arrangement, i prefer nappies instead of pull ups, no lace up shoes etc etc

It's all worded very friendly but firmly. I feel it's better to air these things before they become a problem and I have to find a way of bringing it up.

However I'm dithering over whether to include it or not. Parents, what do you think?

although how a child used to nappy pants is suddenly supposed to be able to understand that they are now in big pants and can no longer wet them is still unanswered

I thought I answered that - you're not encouraging them to pee in the pullup, it's there as a safety net. So there is no big change. There wasn't for DD anyway, pullups were dry for days on end, we stopped using them. Non-event.

But as I also said before, the point isn't whether you prefer or don't prefer that method. The point is there are different methods as in various things in parenting, and some people prefer one thing or the other, for all sorts of reasons. A CM who thinks their way is the only correct way to do things would actually worry me quite a lot, because if something unforseen comes up where you don't agree with their way, you'd at the very least feel judged, if not actually have to change provider if it was a deal-breaker on both sides. A CM who understands some people prefer pull-ups but lets it be known that they want to use nappies, great, then everyone can make an informed choice.

DD was in pullups so she could easily use the potty

And the OP said pull ups for potty use were perfectly acceptable.

OP was objecting to pull ups for babies, though also missed if she said fine for PT. We used pull ups for a baby because we did potty training as a gradual build up from baby age not a cold turkey arrangement at 2 or 3. It's only one possible reason. I was actually answering the PP's question which I quoted not OP though.

catkind.....I see your use f nappy pants to pull ups but that is not the way nappy pants are marketed or that most parents use them. The suggested use is instead of a nappy with no attempt at potty training....as current advise is that children need to have reached a certain developmental stage and understanding before they can control their bladder generally at 2 and a half to 3 years ...yes it is accepted some are earlier and some are latter and yes you can train an automatic reaction they used to do it by feeding on potties and putting them in a cold store bottom touches baby wees ( not suggesting you did this) the baby then wees exactly like a dog would salivate if they hear a bowl but they still wee in the nappy in between.

Potty training should be child led not adult shes 2 im doing it so I get the not the gentle thing it should be.

I also am happy to use training pull ups the problem is if veryone isn't on board Ive had parents turn around and say you've got a pull up on wee in it.

My question is if you are using the nappy pants as marketed how hten do you buy a pull up and say its different?

zzzzzz......most homes may have free access to toys and may have a water table etc outside. Generally most will not have paint sand water drawing home corner gloop music and normal free flow toys all set up inside and out all day long with free flow between house and garden.
My areas today....water and ice play inside, water wall outside, music outside, reading den inside and out, painting on my conseratory doors so inside and out, mark making in salt tray, threading, construction, glue/scissors/craft table as well as home corner and normal toys. The children access all freely but must be supervised so to nappy change I need to bring the children into where I can see them all this restricts their play If im changing 3 to 4 nappies per child that's a lot of time the others are not accessing their play....

A parent may well do all these activities at one time ( although I struggle to persuade both my clients and parents at toddler group to do more than a bit of drawing and outdoor wet play) but they do not have to meet the requirements of Ofsted whilst they are di it and in general most do not have 3 between the age of 8 months and 2 to then support in learning change nappies whilst getting to the school on time two to 4 times a day.

I would be fine with info on your preferences / "niggles".

at the earnest poster regarding nappy changing as a valuable opportunity for education!

Doesn't know how to "embed learning and intimacy into a child's life"??? You are truly barking, zzzz. You really can't do that without making every shitty nappy a Magical Moment?
Life must be quite shit in your house, pardon the pun. Dancing round the room with a nappy on your head, celebrating every turd that's produced. It all sounds so tediously worthy. To everyone else it's just shit; to be dealt with efficiently and no particular fanfare.

You were the one sneering, zzzz

It was a reference to your apparent obsession with nappy changing being a Kodak moment for everyone (you had a go at me earlier, remember?). But it was unnecessary, you're right.
Sorry.

I am sorry. My mouth runs away with me sometimes.

Ok

zzzzz......My setting is not unusual as a childminder but I don't think many parents are looking at a sand and water area, painting area home corner dark den mark making table in just their lounge at this time of the morning....even many cms wouldn't have water play inside.

In terms of close bonding and special time I use nappy changes as a great time for eys contact and face to face interaction especially with my SEN children I don't see how you do this if little one is standing up struggling to balance and turning to run.

I prefer nappies. It is quicker to lie a child on a mat pull clothing Don to ankles / up to waist, clean and pop on a new one. The pull ups mean removing everything from the waist down, including shoes when out and about, right faff. However, I use whatever the parents supply. If I insisted on nappies I would feel obligated to provide then.

Agree on early drop offs and late collection warnings. Better to make it clear from the start.

Not bothered about laces though.

i think your rules are fine and make total sense

tied laces are a pain, children pull them undone and trip over them and velcose helps them to be independant quicker, most children under 6/7 cant master laces so whats the point in buying shoes with them

pull ups, cant stand them, pain to change a child as have to strip bottom half, pull off tights etc

and if pt, they feel like a nappy and child pees in them, use pants/knickers

To put a pull up on, a child has to he undressed from the waist down. To put a napoy on, it's just trousers pulled down, nappy on, pull trousers up. No messing around with shoes or anything. Much quicker.

this with bells on it

and amazing how many parents say their child wont lie still while nappy changed, hence use pull ups for ease, tho have to undress lower half of child,how is this ease?

YET child will happily lie down/keep still while i change as a nanny ......

and in the end, op is interviewing the parents as much as parents interview her, and both want to be a good match

as current advise is that children need to have reached a certain developmental stage and understanding before they can control their bladder generally at 2 and a half to 3 years ...yes it is accepted some are earlier and some are latter and yes you can train an automatic reaction they used to do it by feeding on potties and putting them in a cold store bottom touches baby wees ( not suggesting you did this) the baby then wees exactly like a dog would salivate if they hear a bowl but they still wee in the nappy in between.

I think small babies naturally pee in open air (usually all over the changing mat/in your face if male!), and putting a squatting position into the mix helps too. No pavlovian conditioning required! We then found the more DD did pee in the potty/loo, the less she ever needed to pee in the nappy, so potty habit was reinforced and nappy habit just gradually dropped off. There wasn't any obvious point that instinct handed over to conscious control, if they perform when put on the loo and don't perform till put on the loo, the effect is much the same.

I know not the point of the thread, but it was bloody brilliant after having a miserable time PT DS at over 3. With DD we barely had to change a pooey nappy after her first birthday, and a lot fewer than expected before that. I was so fed up of cleaning up pooey bums after 3 years with DS, I don't know how you CMs do it! (Well, with their shoes on obviously...)

I also am happy to use training pull ups the problem is if everyone isn't on board Ive had parents turn around and say you've got a pull up on wee in it.
That does sound odd. Though I suppose if the child is aware enough of what they're doing you have to tell them to pee in the pullup, the problem is basically solved anyway.

My question is if you are using the nappy pants as marketed how hten do you buy a pull up and say its different?
It's not different is it? I assumed it works the same as we did only at an older age, not a suddenly tell the child something is different, just gradually encouraging more potty use and less nappy use over time.

After you were sneered at upthread, I feel the need to say to zzzzz that what you detailed about your care of your children sounds so lovely - your lucky children

No one has suggested nappy changing is a 'Kodak moment', I think it was facetious to say that. It's the opposite of a Kodak moment, which would be something for YOU to share with the world. This is about the child. It (and other caregiving tasks) is about taking just a moment to teach children about their bodies, their bodily functions, touch, eye contact, keeping themselves clean & dealing with their clothing, and that generally they're worth more than a cursory 30 seconds of their caregiver's time. All important things imo.

I've already accepted that of course childminders will have less time, & if you're out & about of course it's a bit different, but the practically boasting about 30 second nappy changes doesn't sit well.