As a parent, would you find this too bossy?

[Snap8TheCat]

I'm a well established childminder and when a new family starts with me I provide them with a pack of my policies and procedures and all the forms I need completing.

I'm thinking of adding a page to iron out little niggles that invariably crop up. Things like, please name clothing, don't drop off early without prior arrangement, i prefer nappies instead of pull ups, no lace up shoes etc etc

It's all worded very friendly but firmly. I feel it's better to air these things before they become a problem and I have to find a way of bringing it up.

However I'm dithering over whether to include it or not. Parents, what do you think?

IMO pull ups send mixed messages to children who are trying to use a toilet.
It didn't work that way for DD - pullups were an emergency backup for the adults' convenience, no-one was encouraging her to pee in them and she rarely did even at 1. We didn't stop using pull-ups until 2 as I was nervous about a 1 yr old in pants, but it was a total non-event when we did. And much cheaper than using nappies as the pullups would last several toilet visits, often stay dry all day.

But how it worked for a particular child is not the issue. If a CM won't use pull-ups, then it's a good idea to let parents know in advance so they know not to use that CM if nappies doesn't work for them. It's not up to a CM to dictate how parents parent, it's up to them to decide if they want to take on a particular family or not - and vice versa.

zzzzz.....

I am not saying parents need lessons as such but that in todays society the normal parenting craft either through family or the 10 week prenatal courses are not happening leaving parents to struggle it out themselves whereas 10 to 15 years ago nobody stripped off their baby's to change them as they had all been shown by either watching own family or in classes. If a parent really does prefer to take of shoes and strip off bottom half every time baby needs a change when they are out that's obviously up to them but I'm querying if anyone who does knows that you don't have to, Obviously with nappy pants you can get them off without doing this but you cant replace them. Having had several mums recently watch me do it and say they have never seen anyone change a nappy like this before I wonder.
It is also beyond me how its easy to put back on pants then trousers then shoes rather than quickly wrap new nappy fasten sticky tapes and pull back up trousers the trousers don't come off so your not fighting feet and baby is still because their legs are in the air.

I think as a childminder you are expected to fit in more with the child, as opposed to nursery where the child needs to adapt to fit in more.

My dd goes to nursery (preferred Choice) so I read all of the rules (and there were lots!) and complied. I think if I'd chosen a child minder I'd expect everything to be a bit more adaptable.

I think you should word it softly

"I find it quickest to change nappies if children are wearing a traditional nappy over a pull up style one. This gives me more time to play and support all the children. Of course this does not apply if your child is potty training.

I do not expect you to go and buy new shoes, but i prefer my mindees to not be in laces until they are able to tie laces (with a little help) themselves."

zzzzz Sat 17-Jun-17 21:01:36

"
10 to 15 years ago......grin. Ah I see "The Olden Days". grin

No their weren't courses then on how to change a nappy in your preferred way. hmm

I can't actually remember EVER changing a nappy as you describe, but yes pull-ups require you to remove trousers or tights and nappies require you to fiddle about with tapes."

Not sure why all old methods would be bad in your opinion but as I only have 30 years experience with children I must bow down to you obviously the new way is much better and quicker than the old way which you admit you've never tried as you have never been shown it....strange then that most childcare professionals in nurseries, hospitals, and child-minders all prefer the old way must be some irrational madness in us that means we stick to the old methods despite having hundreds of nappies to do a week against the much wiser who do what 3 to 5 a day for a mere 2 to 3 years .....again as I said I don't care what a parent does at home but they should be willing at least to support a childcare professional by listening to their requests ...this one doesn't mean extra expense doesn't mean the parent needs to do anything different other than provide for the cm a pack of normal nappies child can come in nappy pants cm will on changing replace with nappy for the day parent on changing can revert to nappy pants...price the same why is this so unreasonable?

Of course it's fine. I don't think parents get the right to "make a valid choice" over the nappies that someone else is going to change

What nappies they wear doesn't affect the standard of care one iota.

"It's called parenting"... Get away! It's actually parenting one step removed, obviously, since there's another sole caregiver in the equation.

I'd be okay with the rest, but no pull ups is far too prescriptive. You have no idea why someone might be using them for their child and it's their decision. Don't really like the sound of 30 second nappy changes either, doesn't sound very caring.

How so mctat?

I'd have an issue with the OP in that she seems to just completely dislike and resent parents TBH. No willingness to work with them

Nonsense. She clearly states that she is happy to work with parents and has accommodated washable nappies.

this one doesn't mean extra expense doesn't mean the parent needs to do anything different other than provide for the cm a pack of normal nappies child can come in nappy pants cm will on changing replace with nappy for the day parent on changing can revert to nappy pants...price the same why is this so unreasonable?

It affects the child, not just the associated adults. DD was in pullups so she could easily use the potty. (And the fact she was keen on doing so from baby age was super convenient to us, so I hope to CM too. None of those mid school run poos in the car seat!)

It was also cheaper to have DD in pullups as she'd only need 1 or 2 a day, whereas nappies you'd get through far more.

DS was in pullups at one stage because after several warnings his nursery staff were still putting nappies on so tight he came out with sore marks round his tummy; and at another stage because he was picking at nappies until they fell of any time you turned your back for a minute.

All sorts of reasons parents may prefer one or the other for their child. If it's just for the parents then I'm sure they wouldn't mind doing as you say.

'How so mctat?'

Dubious - pretty much as zzzzz said, it's a time for interaction. If you're giving warm care to a child, it's a care-giving moment, something to involve the child in what is happening to their body, not something to get over and done with in the least amount of time possible.

I do appreciate that a group care situation has to be different to changing nappies at home, but this just sounds all a bit clinical, I think that's what some pps are sensing. It's all about getting the job done asap, rather than it forming part of any relationship with the child.

Also, really don't agree with whoever said that pull ups are easier for the child to take off than tabbed nappies, I've found the opposite.

Personally, I've always viewed nappy changing as something to get over and done as quickly as possible...
I could name you umpteen ways to have a caring moment with your child that doesn't involve bonding over the shit.

Mctat I find it easier to chat to a child while they're lying down having a nappy changed than when changing trousers, but that just goes to show that we're all different and do things in different ways I think.

I'd happily abide by your rules and would rather you set them out. My dc's nursery had a no Converse rule. They only had laced shoes for school once they could do them without help.

CM doesn't mean one to one care. If the suggestions are a problem and you can't work around them, you aren't the right match for achieving other.

I'm surprised how prolific pull ups are for babies.

You'd have refused me then. Used washable nappies and dc2 had problems with her feet so had to have laced boots from under two.

OP has already said she's used washable nappies when asked and that medical reasons are fine.

Nappy changing is a great time to chat count tickle sing all very hard to do if your Lo is standing up and playing run away from mummy. You get eye contact and cooperation by being interesting and fun the whole selling point put forward by nappy pants is that the parent cant keep eye contact with their Lo.
A 30 second nappy change is if your about to do a school run, your out in a park, a car etc. when you don't want to be taking time as its your duty of care to get everyone t school on time to keep them safe out of nappy bins etc or just back to playing not watching you dress a baby.

Nappy pants are not the same as pull ups in their intended market, pull ups are for potty training, nappy pants are not ( although how a child used to nappy pants is suddenly supposed to be able to understand that they are now in big pants and can no longer wet them is still unanswered).

If a child has a genuine reason for any type of treatment that is not normal of course they are accommodated, for example I have a 2 year old who has outgrown all nappies and although not potty training has to wear PJ pants designed to fit up to about 8 years. It dose mean his changes take longer and if their were 3 of them it would mean every change would take 20 mins. Don't forget we are also supposed to be educating the others not making them sit and wait so that's 20 mins when they are not getting stuck into painting gloop sticking or out in the garden. Most homes are not free flow and do not have to allow free access to outside or messy play, not to mention drinking water. Which is not in a lidded cup in my home as another part of independence and transition to school.