As a parent, would you find this too bossy?

[Snap8TheCat]

I'm a well established childminder and when a new family starts with me I provide them with a pack of my policies and procedures and all the forms I need completing.

I'm thinking of adding a page to iron out little niggles that invariably crop up. Things like, please name clothing, don't drop off early without prior arrangement, i prefer nappies instead of pull ups, no lace up shoes etc etc

It's all worded very friendly but firmly. I feel it's better to air these things before they become a problem and I have to find a way of bringing it up.

However I'm dithering over whether to include it or not. Parents, what do you think?

Go for it. I work in a nursery and have heard many parents say "he's my first...nobody tells you...(insert apparently obvious thing here).

I'm with you on pull ups, unless they are toilet training it's a right pain. Nappies are much easier.

Thanks you. The overall consensus seems to be that you'd appreciate me being upfront. I think it's better to start off on the right foot. And if they haven't used childcare some things aren't obvious.

I had one parent tell me she thought being earlier was a good thing and couldn't understand 'only 10 minutes early' being a problem. But if I let one, I have to let everyone and before you know it I have 6 kids early everyday!

I think the idea of a frequently ask questions page would work well. Whatever works for you in your setting and gives you more time interacting with the children.

I work in a preschool and we all sigh when a child comes in with laces, not just because of the extra time it takes to sort out that one child, but because it takes some of the independence and therefore self-esteem away from the child too. Don't even get me started on sending them in in playsuits

You can rip the sides of pull ups. I used pull ups from 6 months as they were the only nappies that didn't leak with DS. We never used lace up shoes but I agree with the other poster, I think some are reasonable requests, like labeling clothing, and some are a bit off.

It's good to be clear. Might be a tiny bit off putting. My first had to be in lace up boots, there was literally only 2 different styles, which had to be ordered, which would fit him. If this wouldn't work for you, I guess you're best of finding that out before you start.
Sounds a tad regimented. Do you give your reasons?

I think it's fine to outline reasonable requests. I don't think it's reasonable that you outline what kind of nappies/ pull-ups or shoes a child should wear though (unless you're buying & paying for them).

You may have a preference for certain things but I would not be happy if my childminder told me how to dress my children - I wouldn't take kindly to being told to change the types of nappies or shoes I'd chosen just to save you a. Purple of minutes. I'd like to think to think my childminder would be able to put in the time and care to support my child with changing/ dressing etc. If there were silly rules like this I would certainly be put off - I think people often choose a childminder over a nursery so that the child m/ children can build a closer caregiver relationship but being told my childminder didn't like pull-ups because it takes an extra minute to change them and didn't like tying laces etc would make me feel they saw changing/ dressing etc as a conveyor-best process and didn't see it as an opportunity for developing my child.

Definitely include it. Speaking as an ex child minder it's always good to set these things out clearly beforehand rather than dithering about how to say things after they have started.

OP I use pull ups for my baby (have done since he was 8 months) because he literally will not stay still to be changed and they are 1000x easier to get on with than a nappy.

I would not be impressed if a cm told me what nappies to put my child in TBH.

The other stuff is fine.

I'd find the no pull ups and no lace-up shoes too prescriptive, everything else is fine.

As pp have said above there's lots of valid reasons for pull ups (prefer to change standing up, less leaky, tabs are itchy etc etc) and lace up shoes (need to fit insoles, better ankle support etc)

My parents who like to use pull ups, use pull ups at home and are happy for me to use nappies. It wasn't a problem.

I discourage lace up shoes, because children are supposed to learn to be independent and unless they can tie laces then you are slowing them down in their dash for the garden. Even my 1 year olds can take off Velcro shoes and have a good go at putting them on. Laces also seem to be made of super slippery stuff these days which keeps coming on done when we are out on a walk

Pull ups are great. I can change ds anywhere with him on his feet. In the woods, in fields, you name it. No faffing with mats etc. I wouldn't use childcare that required me to buy separate, special nappies just for them.

I chose a childminder over nursery because I wanted a more homely environment where ds would be able to maintain a similar routine to home, rather than having to fit into a nursey's way of doing things. It's the main attraction for me, and the way that ds runs to his childminder with a big smile on his face vindicates that decision. Having my choice of nappies or clothing dictated to me would definitely put me off, as I'd see you more like a small nursery-type setting. That said, best to get it upfront, I suppose!

Obviously early drop offs are not on, of course.

Even my 1 year olds can take off Velcro shoes which can be a very good reason for not using Velcro shoes. too.

Nursery's, not nursey's 🙄 Nursie was not involved in the drafting of my comment!

Lots of places my child goes to have rules and often I have to buy new stuff to suit,

Pre school they had to leave wellies there so that meant I needed to buy a new pair. I also had to buy waterproofs from them to leave there and provide a certain type of bag (drawstring) even though I wouldn't use one at home due to safety.

They have a no laces unless they can tie them rule at school so we bought shoes and trainers to abide that rule.

Beavers dd has to wear trousers with pockets so I had to buy a new pair.

I would be OK with using pull-ups at home and nappies for the CM, I think. I used to give her a whole bag at a time so it wouldn't make any difference, unless I was using them as part of a potty training strategy, in which case I'd want the CM to be on board with it to keep it consistent.

I think it's fine op. I have a 19 month age gap and have had toddler groups 90 minutes long where both of mine have done 2 poos each!- pull ups with lace up shoes would have been a total pita. Whilst you're untying, undressing, changing then re dressing and re tying shoes of one child, the other is either messing about in a toilet or being watched by shoes me one else. The quicker the nappy change the better!The only thing with lace up shoes though is my dd would pull velcro ones off in the buggy so velcro were harder in that respect.

A good childminder is worth their weight in gold and as a parent if I could do a few things to make their lives easier then I would.

There's a lot of PFB going on in this thread.
You do realise most schools specify Velcro shoes? So all very well 2 year old PFB needing laces for development but it means bugger all when in reception and you'll be 'that parent' defying the rules by sending in PFB with laces and said PFB is 5 minutes behind his less well developed peers getting changed for break time.

The op says she "prefers nappies", not "I insist you use nappies or else!"

Honestly? It would put me off. I look for a childminder who will suit my child. I don't want to adapt my child to make the childminders day easier.

My nursery says clothes and shoes that are easy to put on and take off.

I do think it's better to be upfront but perhaps ask a couple of friends to check the list and give honest feedback.

Oh god lace up shoes on toddlers are a pain. One of my lo's was constantly pulling the laces open, i seemed to be tying them every two minutes.

I'd actually appreciate this (if worded in a friendly way). It's much better to iron out these details up front. None of it seems particularly controversial either.

adapt my child, by changing the type of nappy they wear? Or writing their name I their clothes? Hardly!

I'll add that the page does include lots of do's too! It's not all don'ts.

You are very welcome to contact me at any time. Please bring comfort toys or anything that will help them settle. Happy to accommodate early drop off with prior arrangement. Etc etc.