Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

[susiemumof]

Not looking for a argument or aibu type thread.

Am new to cm and have a 6mo mindee 60 hours per week, mum has a day off next week (which she did not even need to tell me about) but has said she will still send said mindee as she would like a day to herself.

I actually offer a large discount on days when mindees are not with me so can't even put it down to wanting to get her monies worth.

Was just really wondering how common other childminders have found this?

It's obviously no problem for me to have the child and I am loving my new job, it just makes me a bit sad for the baby itswim.

Why should it make you sad for the baby?

We all need time to ourselves. I haven't had a child free day for over 2 years and it is really tough.

i'm not sure I understand your post especially re the discount. Surely if you are getting paid then all is well ? I used to still send my dd when I had a very rare day off just so that I could do the housework in peace

My childminder used to do far more with dd than I ever did as all I seemed to think about when at home was how much housework, etc I had to do

Sorry just noticed that you look after baby 60 hours a week. That is a lot. Is the mum on her own? How many days a week is that over?

If my 6 mo baby spent 60 (!) hours a week with a CM, I'm not sure a day to myself would be my top priority if I had a day off.

You give a discount if the children aren't with you when it is the parent's choice?

I have never heard of this. Doesn't seem very fair on you.

If the parent was off for a week and still sent the child every day, then that would seem a little unfair. However, I occasionally have a day off and still send ds to his childminder as it's a good chance to sleep/get stuff done!

I just presumed when I started that parents who work really long hours would want to spend any extra time possible with their young baby.

That was the whole reason I decided to charge much less on the days mindees were not with me- so parents could enjoy time together without worrying about paying for a service they were not using.

I was just surprised, that's all really.

Was wondering if this was something that all childminders had experienced. Like I said I'm new to all thus still

I used to send mine to nursery on the very rare occasion I had a day off during the week. I used to get all the housework done!

I used to get this. I CM'd for 2 under 4, siblings, from 7.30am till 6.00pm every day and the dad didn't work at all, and the mum worked either 8-2 or 2-6, or was ond ays off.. Used to make me a bit too, biut I got told on here that it was none of my business what the parents do when the childrena re with me.

It all went tits up in the end anyway

And by the way I wish the after school club had that policy instead of charging me £30 for the week ds2 was at home sick.

Sorry I know it's nothing to do with anything, it just annoyed me!

It works out 12 hours a day 5 days a week.

Mindee is adorable so it's not that I want a day away from her or anything!

It's like having another baby without having to worry about the sleepless nights

I'm just thinking now that I may have made a mistake about offering a reduction when mindees not here, I thought I was making myself more attractive to parents and being flexible to their needs but it also means I can't work out exactly what my income will be every month incase parents do take advantage of any time off.

60 hours a week??
An unexpected day at home would bean unexpected day with my baby if it was in childcare 60hours a week.

oh dear, I sincerely hope my CM doesn't judge me in this way. We have done this as it's lovely to have some time to yourself esp when no other support network nearby

I'm not judging at all!

I'm asking other childminders what their own experience of this is.

Maybe she had chores to do that would be difficult to do with a baby like go to the hairdressers? Wash floors? Clean oven?

and yes, I think you need to charge for the days you are 'open' whether or not the parents use you. I expect to be charged unless CM can't do it and even then with my lovely CM I would prob pay her anyway

I have done it but not for a full day. I have usually taken child at normal morning time but picked up earlier in afternoon and used the day to decorate or do a full clean that you cant do with a LO in tow.

susie you are if you say you are 'sad for the baby'. The implication is that her parents don't love her enough.

Maybe she goes to bed. Working 12hours a day, 5 days a week and possibly having broken nights sleep with a 6m old?

Yes, I have done this before, not often, but every now and then to catch up on housework, shopping ect. My DC's love being at our CMs and that time spent cleaning gives us more quality time together when they are home iyswim.

Susiemumof - you have no idea what this woman wants to do with her day off so stop judging.

FFS she is wanting one day off, not taking a two week vacation to Aruba.
Perhaps she's going for a smear, or finally having that corn on her foot dealt with, or working out her taxes. Or she might just enjoy a spare moment when she isn't either with her baby or working.

Either way, it's none of your business. I would be so upset to think that my CM had been judging me when I was in the same situation.
Of course every moment with your child is precious, but so is time alone sometimes just to catch up. Sorry I sound grumpy about this, but I used to work that much and look after a baby most of the rest of the time alone, and a day off was like a beacon of hope every now and again.

If you have been the one to arrange this financial situation that's disadvantaging you, I would reconsider it if that is the problem.

My DD was in nursery full time at a similar age and the vast majority of time off I took was with her, but sometimes I needed a day just to myself or I would have gone nuts. Usually I went to hairdressers or something like that which is very difficult with a baby. Have emerged out the otherwise I would imagine that the mum is pretty much worn out and just needs a bit of time where nobody asks anything of her.

I have no shame in saying I would definitely judge a parent harshly for doing this. Fair enough if the baby is there a short amount of time anyway and the parents get to see her a fair bit during the week, but 60 hours!

I would never imply that someone did not love their child enough, what a bizarre thing to say!

I'm sad for the baby as surely as much as she loves being here nothing compares to a bit extra time with your own mum?

I'm 32 and still love it when my mum has a unexpected day off and we can do something.

You're obviously very good with children (or you wouldn't be a childminder), most parents need a day off sometimes, I certainly do. I'm (mostly) a SAHM to my three, but my youngest will be going to nursery two days a week from next September and the other two will be at school. I need some time to myself, gym, haircut, doctors, cleaning, laundry, admin stuff, studying.......especially if you are working full time, I expect you need a week just to catch up on everything.