A i right to insist DP staying with me against hospital rules?

[tiggz]

My dp and mum are goin to be my birthing partners but at the hospital im giving birth in, the policy is they can stay with me throughout the childbirth, but if my baby isnt born within the visiting hours of 12-8pm, my DP may have to leave me as its not visiting hours and i will be alone, right after having the baby, they say its because they like to give the mum plenty of rest, but if my DP isnt there with me i will only be unsettled, i'l get more rest just knowing he's beside me, not only that, i just want him there and why would he want to leave me and his newborn?
I dont want to be the anoying patient but do you think id be right to insist on him staying there. i dont want to be alone!

lulu ur so unsupprtv

I think everyone is being a bit harsh on the op.

I'm afraid that I am a lot older than her, and have had, some good, and some truly appalling care at nhs hospitals. It is not always down to the system that staff have to work in, sometimes it can be the staff themselves. A bad experience can leave you feeling very negative, and vulnerable about going into hospital, even more so, I should imagine if you are only 18.

You've not wondered where he would sleep then. As according to you my comment was irrelevant.

hun ur so supprtv.

hazeyjane thanku thts exactly how i feel. i dont understand why they see me as imature because i have different opinions about the nhs thn they do and because i really want my dp with me, there been a lady on here who said its her 5th baby and feels exactly the same! so it really dosent make me imature do u think?

i was far whinier than this at end of pg and i was 35.

good job i didn't know what was in store too.

shaz10 no some posts i just havnt managed to reply to, theres been loads ya no lol. well as i said before in a different hos he stayed over night with me in a ward when i had MMC and they were lucky enough to have a spare bed but if they didnt he was able to stay in the chair

Oops, clicked too soon! Meant to add:

You say you've been in hospital before. In my local hospital the maternity ward bays are exactly the same size as the other ward bays. Add a cot and an extra cupboard and you're hard pressed to find space for someone to sit, never mind sleep.

You never know, you might be glad of some time by yourself with baby. An excellent birth experience may relieve your anxiety and give you the confidence you need to say "no, go home and rest, I'll see you tomorrow".

erm, you did

By tiggz Sat 20-Mar-10 21:12:00
boobz im 40weeks plus 8dys and would be too late to plan it now as she could come at any hour, but if i was told in time about the rule i would have polanned it.

mumnwlondon thanx for the advice

lulu i find some of your opinions offensive it dosent mean your not alowwed to have them, i wouldnt keep repeating mine if you dropped the nhs subject as i av tried to for ages now! i didnt check because i didnt know all hospitals had different visiting rules on pst natal wards, why should someone check if they didnt realise?

i know it is irritating when threads go off on a tangent you dont wnat them to, but you cannote xpect to throw out comments about the NHS and for them to be ignored

Seriously, don't ask your partner to sleep in the chair. That's cruel!

i know it is irritating when threads go off on a tangent you dont wnat them to, but you cannote xpect to throw out comments about the NHS and for them to be ignored

was my comemnt, not a continuaton of yours

lulu you said my opinion abt the nhs was offensive because you didnt agree, i meant therefore some of yours i could take to being offensive as i dont agree. why are u so obbsessed with draggin it out uv had your opinion on it nd iv had mine, drop and get back to the subject at hand.

Nothing to add to reassure you that you will be fine in hospital and/ or still have time to book a homebirth. I have been discharged strainght from delivery suite without a doctor though. The NB exam seems to one of the things that a GP can do a home visit for these days.

I know it's stressful and a nervous time. Most of us have been there. But if it's the hospital rules, then those are the rules. Insisting is not going to help. I had a woman in the bed opposite me who was like the OP - made a huge bloody fuss every night at the end of visiting hours and her DP had to be chucked out by security the whole time I was there. Completely fucking inconsiderate of everyone else on the ward

shaz10 lol i would never make him

???? Laurie F cake. that's harsh.
expat in scot, where are you from and why should that make your opinons any less valid?

ladybiscuit i knw, i would never insist to that extreme, thats just silly lol

please do not take that attitude with me and tell me to 'drop it'

i have posted quite extensively on this thread, it might not be what you want to hear, but you are using NHS services for the birth, therefore your opinions re the service and the NHS itself, which you brought up, are germane to this whole argument as to why your DP can't stay with you

if you don't want to hear it, then do not post on an open forum

i will leave you to it, and wish you all the best for your birth and hope you are not in hospital a second longer than you wish to be

pastagirl even tho im not actually from a different country, it was still harsh i agree, if i were from a different country tht comment could of gone down pretty bad

Why harsh?

It's not like I explicitly called her a troll or compared her to EC did I?

Why bring up where I'm from, pastagirl. That's neither here nor there.

Just like, Tiggz, may we ask what you and your partner do for a living?

Add message | Report | Contact poster By tiggz Sat 20-Mar-10 20:56:02
ladybiscuit where i originally came from, my sister had 4children in that hospital and it was all very different and better and men are allowed to stay until they are dischared, also i stayed in hospital overnyt there on a ward when i had a MMC and my DP was alowwed to stay with me. so i wasnt expecting it to be different here

This made it sound to me like you were saying you were from somewhere else.

Apologies if you're a home grown troll.

lulu thanku, i knw, but i hav asked repeatedly for the nhs subject to be dropped as its irrelevent to this thread, if you want to talk about that i think it would be best if you made your own thread.

Wow! When I had a MMC I was expected to go to the maternity unit.

And when I had bleeding with DD1 I spent the night GYN unit.

Definitely no men allowed overnight (but had a right laugh with the prolapse and hysterectomy ladies in the unit).

lauriefairycake thats dosent mean im from a different country lol, just a different part of the uk